We’ve all been in conversations that made us cringe a little—whether it was an awkward comment, a poorly timed joke, or just something that felt… off.
The truth is, some people struggle with social skills and don’t even realize the impact of the things they say. They might think they’re being funny, confident, or even polite, but instead, they come across as awkward, rude, or even annoying.
If you want to avoid those uncomfortable moments (or help someone else recognize them), here are 10 cringey phrases people with poor social skills tend to use—without realizing how they sound.
1) No offense, but…
Have you ever noticed that when someone says “No offense, but…” the next thing out of their mouth is almost always offensive?
People with poor social skills often use this phrase as if it gives them a free pass to say something rude or hurtful. But in reality, it just makes the conversation awkward and uncomfortable.
If you have to preface your statement with “No offense,” that’s probably a sign that you shouldn’t say it at all. Instead, try rewording your thoughts in a way that’s more considerate—or maybe just keep them to yourself.
2) I’m just being honest
I used to think that saying “I’m just being honest” made it okay to be blunt, even if it hurt someone’s feelings. I’d give my unfiltered opinion on someone’s outfit, their work, or even their personal choices, thinking I was doing them a favor by telling the “truth.”
But then one day, a friend called me out. They said, “Honesty isn’t an excuse to be rude.” And they were right. Saying this phrase doesn’t make a harsh comment any less hurtful—it just makes you seem insensitive.
I’ve since learned that honesty is important, but so is kindness. If the truth needs to be said, there’s almost always a better way to say it.
3) Relax, it was just a joke
This phrase is a classic way for people to dodge responsibility after saying something rude or offensive. Instead of acknowledging that they may have upset someone, they shift the blame onto the other person for “not being able to take a joke.”
In psychology, this is known as *benign violation theory*, which explains why some things are funny while others just feel wrong. Humor works when it playfully challenges expectations—but when a joke crosses the line into being hurtful, it stops being funny.
If someone seems genuinely upset by what you said, brushing it off with “Relax, it was just a joke” only makes things worse. A better approach? Pay attention to how your words land, and if a joke doesn’t go over well, just apologize instead of doubling down.
4) Whatever
Few words shut down a conversation faster than a dismissive “Whatever.” It’s often used as a way to avoid conflict or end a discussion, but it comes across as passive-aggressive and emotionally immature.
Instead of resolving an issue, this phrase signals that you don’t care—whether that’s true or not. And when people feel like their thoughts or concerns are being brushed aside, it only creates frustration and misunderstandings.
If you’re feeling annoyed or disagree with someone, try expressing your thoughts clearly instead of shutting down the conversation. A little effort in communication goes a long way.
5) I’m just saying
This phrase usually comes after an unnecessary or critical comment, as if adding *“I’m just saying”* somehow makes it less offensive. But in reality, it doesn’t soften the statement—it just makes it seem like you’re trying to avoid responsibility for what you said.
People often use this when they realize their comment didn’t land well but don’t want to backtrack or apologize. Instead of owning up to a harsh remark, they tack on *“I’m just saying”* as if that makes it more acceptable.
If you find yourself using this phrase, ask yourself: *Was my comment actually helpful, or was I just being critical?* If it’s the latter, it might be better left unsaid.
6) You always… / You never…
These two phrases are some of the quickest ways to make someone feel defensive. When you tell someone *“You always forget things”* or *“You never listen”*, it paints them in an unfair, extreme light—one where they can’t do anything right.
The truth is, nobody *always* or *never* does something. We all have moments where we fall short, but using these absolute statements makes people feel attacked rather than understood. Instead of starting a real conversation, it usually just leads to an argument.
If you’re frustrated with someone, try focusing on the specific situation instead of making broad, negative claims about their character. A little patience and kindness can keep a tough conversation from turning into a fight.
7) It’s not a big deal
There was a time when I didn’t understand why people got upset over things that seemed small to me. If someone was frustrated or hurt, I’d shrug and say, *“It’s not a big deal,”* thinking I was helping them move on. But all it really did was make them feel like their feelings didn’t matter.
The truth is, what’s *not* a big deal to one person might be a huge deal to someone else. Dismissing their emotions doesn’t make the problem go away—it just makes them feel unheard.
A better response? Instead of minimizing how someone feels, try listening. Even if you don’t fully understand why something bothers them, showing that you care makes all the difference.
8) I’m just trying to help
It sounds like a harmless phrase—after all, what’s wrong with wanting to help? But the reality is, this is often said when someone doesn’t *want* help, but rather just wants to be heard.
Sometimes, people vent because they need support, not solutions. Jumping in with advice when they didn’t ask for it can come across as dismissive, as if their feelings don’t matter as much as fixing the problem. And when they push back, saying *“I’m just trying to help”* makes it seem like they’re the unreasonable one for not accepting advice they never asked for.
If someone is sharing something difficult, try asking, *“Do you want advice or just someone to listen?”* That way, you’re actually helping in the way they need.
9) That’s just how I am
This phrase is often used as a way to avoid taking responsibility for bad behavior. Instead of reflecting on how their words or actions affect others, people say *“That’s just how I am”* as if it excuses being rude, stubborn, or inconsiderate.
The problem is, nobody is locked into one way of being. Social skills, empathy, and self-awareness can all be improved—but only if someone is willing to acknowledge their impact on others.
Rather than using this phrase as a shield, a better approach is to recognize when something you said or did hurt someone and be open to change. Growth isn’t about losing who you are—it’s about becoming a better version of yourself.
10) People are too sensitive these days
Dismissing others’ feelings by saying *“People are too sensitive these days”* is an easy way to avoid self-reflection. It assumes that the problem is always with others, never with the way something was said or done.
But communication isn’t just about intention—it’s also about impact. If multiple people react negatively to something you say, it’s worth considering why. Respecting others’ feelings doesn’t mean walking on eggshells; it just means recognizing that words have weight and choosing them with care.
Bottom line: Words shape relationships
The way we communicate has a profound effect on the quality of our relationships. A simple phrase, whether careless or considerate, can either build connection or create distance.
Tthe words we choose influence how others perceive us and how they respond to us. Statements that dismiss, deflect, or criticize can make interactions feel tense and unwelcoming, while words that acknowledge, listen, and respect foster trust and understanding.
No one gets it right all the time, but being mindful of how we speak can make a huge difference. The goal isn’t to walk on eggshells—it’s to communicate in a way that brings people closer rather than pushing them away.
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