7 things you don’t realize you’re doing because you struggle with confrontation

I’ve always been told, “Speak up for yourself, don’t shy away from confrontation”. But, let’s face it. That’s easier said than done, isn’t it?

Here’s the rub.

Are you in the habit of avoiding eye contact or perhaps you’re someone who constantly says ‘yes’ when you really want to say ‘no’? You might not see it, but these could be signs that you struggle with confrontation.

So, if you’re thinking, “What am I doing wrong?” or “Why does confrontation make me uncomfortable?” then this article might just have some answers for you.

We’re about to delve into seven things you might be doing unconsciously because confrontation isn’t your strong suit.

It’s time to uncover those hidden habits and start working towards a more assertive you. Let’s get started, shall we?

1) You’re always saying ‘yes’

Ever find yourself nodding along, saying ‘yes’ to something you’re not entirely on board with?

Here’s the deal.

If you’re in the habit of agreeing to things you aren’t really okay with, just to avoid an argument or uncomfortable conversation, it might be a sign that you struggle with confrontation.

Remember, it’s okay to say no. It’s okay to voice your opinion. It doesn’t mean you’re being difficult; it simply means you’re standing up for what you believe in.

So, next time when you feel the urge to nod along and say ‘yes’, take a moment. Reflect on what you truly want before responding.

It’s your voice, let it be heard.

2) You’re avoiding eye contact

Let me share a little story.

There was a time when I found myself constantly looking down or away during conversations, especially ones that were a bit heated or uncomfortable. I thought it was just a harmless habit, a quirk if you will.

But here’s what I learned.

Avoiding eye contact can actually be a sign of struggling with confrontation. For me, it was a way to avoid the intensity of the situation, to somehow make it less real.

It took some time, but I realized that making eye contact during conversations, especially difficult ones, was essential. It showed I was engaged and willing to face the issue at hand.

If you’re like how I was, constantly looking down or away during discussions, it might be time to reassess why that is and work on maintaining eye contact. Trust me, it can make all the difference.

3) You’re a master of deflection

Picture this. You’re in a meeting, a point of contention arises and all eyes turn to you for an answer. But instead of addressing it, you make a joke or change the topic entirely. Sound familiar?

This, my friend, is known as deflection.

It’s a clever tactic, isn’t it? By steering the conversation away from the conflict, you dodge that uncomfortable feeling of confrontation.

But here’s the kicker – while it might seem like a quick fix in the moment, in the long run, it prevents us from resolving issues and developing healthier communication habits.

So next time you find yourself ready to crack a joke or bring up that random trivia to divert attention, take a deep breath. It’s okay to face the situation head-on.

It might feel uncomfortable at first, but with practice, it gets easier. And who knows? You might just find yourself becoming a stronger communicator in the process.

4) You tend to over-apologize

Are you the kind of person who says ‘sorry’ a lot?

Now, don’t get me wrong.

Apologizing when you’re in the wrong is a good thing. It shows humility and respect for the other person.

But if you find yourself saying ‘sorry’ even when it’s not your fault, just to keep the peace, it could be a sign that you’re avoiding confrontation.

You see, constantly apologizing can sometimes be a way of sidestepping conflict, of making things smooth and easy.

But remember, it’s not always your responsibility to make everything okay. It’s okay to stand your ground and express your feelings without apologizing for them.

So, next time you’re about to say ‘sorry’ out of habit, pause for a moment. Ask yourself if you’re truly in the wrong or if you’re just trying to avoid a difficult conversation. You might be surprised at what you discover.

5) You’re constantly trying to please everyone

Did you know that the human brain actually releases the hormone oxytocin when we please others? This hormone is often associated with feelings of pleasure and satisfaction.

But here’s the twist.

If you’re always going out of your way to make others happy, often at the expense of your own needs and wants, it could be a sign that you’re avoiding confrontation.

It’s a common trap to fall into, thinking that if we keep everyone else happy, we can avoid disagreements or conflicts.

But remember this: You can’t please everyone all the time. And that’s okay. It’s completely alright to prioritize your needs and wants sometimes.

6) You’re not expressing your true feelings

Let me tell you, it’s okay to feel what you feel.

Maybe you’re someone who tends to keep emotions bottled up, especially when they involve disagreement or conflict. You might think it’s easier to suppress your feelings rather than risk a confrontation.

But listen to this.

Your feelings matter. Every single one of them. They are a part of who you are and they deserve to be heard.

By suppressing them, you’re not only denying yourself the chance to express your true self, but also potentially building up frustration and resentment.

So next time, when you feel something, allow yourself to express it. It doesn’t have to be a big confrontation. A simple conversation expressing your feelings can go a long way in keeping relationships healthy and honest.

After all, you’re allowed to feel and you’re allowed to share those feelings with others.

7) You’re always seeking validation

We all like to be acknowledged and appreciated, don’t we?

But if you find yourself incessantly seeking approval or worrying about others’ opinions before making a decision, it could be because you’re trying to avoid confrontation.

You might think that by aligning with others’ views, you’ll prevent potential conflicts.

However, here’s something crucial to remember.

While it’s great to be considerate of others, it’s equally important to acknowledge and trust your own thoughts and feelings. You have the right to your own opinions and the right to express them.

Seeking validation should not come at the cost of suppressing your voice.

Next time you catch yourself seeking approval, remember: your opinion matters. Stand by it. After all, it’s the differences in our thoughts and opinions that make interactions more enriching and meaningful.

The final takeaway

If you find these points resonating with you, chances are you might be grappling with confrontation.

But here’s the comforting part – this doesn’t have to define you forever.

With self-awareness and conscious effort, these traits can be transformed. The key is finding balance and setting boundaries. It’s perfectly okay to stand up for your views and feelings.

Start by recognizing situations where you’re avoiding confrontation. Notice when you’re agreeing just to avoid conflict. Be aware when you’re stifling your own feelings.

Once you spot these moments, it gets easier to catch yourself and pause.

Ask yourself – Is this what I truly feel? Am I sacrificing my own comfort or needs? Could expressing my actual opinion be beneficial?

Change is a gradual process.

But with steady mindfulness, you can alter your behavioral responses. Each small step toward asserting yourself builds confidence.

When we honor our own feelings and views, our interactions with others become more authentic and meaningful.

So be patient with yourself on this journey.

Celebrate every small victory. Seek support when needed. Over time, facing confrontation becomes less daunting.

And in the process, you’ll discover a stronger, more assertive version of yourself – one who can handle conflicts while maintaining personal integrity.