7 subtle habits of life’s most resilient people, according to psychology

Resilience is a trait we admire in so many inspiring figures.

Think of Malala Yousafzai, who overcame unimaginable adversity to become a global advocate for education.

Or Nelson Mandela, who endured 27 years of imprisonment and emerged with a vision of reconciliation and unity.

Or Oprah Winfrey, who rose from a difficult childhood to become one of the most influential voices in the world.

What makes these individuals so extraordinary isn’t just their achievements—it’s their ability to rise above obstacles and keep moving forward.

However, resilience, as psychology shows us, isn’t reserved for the famous or extraordinary. It’s a set of habits and attitudes that anyone can adopt.

Let’s dive into seven subtle habits that help life’s most resilient people thrive, no matter what comes their way.

1) Embracing change

First up, resilient people understand that change is a part of life. They don’t resist or dread it.

In fact, they welcome it.

Change can be daunting, especially when it’s unexpected. But life’s most resilient folks have an uncanny ability to adapt and pivot when life throws curveballs their way.

Psychology suggests that their secret lies in their mindset. Instead of viewing change as a threat, they see it as an opportunity for growth and personal development.

As the team at Very Well Mind puts it, “Resilient people are able to look at negative situations realistically, but in a way that doesn’t center on blame or brooding over what cannot be changed.”

They further suggest, “Instead of viewing adversity as insurmountable, reframe thoughts to look for small ways to tackle the problem and make changes that will help.”

This doesn’t mean that resilient people are immune to the stress and discomfort that change can bring. It simply means they’ve made a habit of facing change head-on and embracing the lessons it brings with it.

2) Practicing gratitude

Allow me to let you in on a personal secret. I’ve found that one of the most powerful habits that help me bounce back from setbacks is practicing gratitude.

You see, life can be tough, and sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in the negatives. But I’ve learned that resilient people make a conscious decision to focus on the positives.

Every night before I go to sleep, I jot down three things I’m grateful for. It could be as simple as a beautiful sunset, a kind gesture from a stranger, or even the chance to learn something new.

By focusing on what’s going well, rather than what’s going wrong, I’ve found it helps shift my perspective and reminds me of the good in my life, despite any challenges I may be facing.

Psychology backs this up too. Research shows that gratitude can enhance resilience and help us manage stress. It’s a subtle habit, but it makes a world of difference.

3) Developing mental toughness

Now, this is a concept I’ve been fascinated with for a while now: mental toughness.

It’s the idea of having the courage and resilience to confront anything that comes your way. It’s about being mentally prepared for whatever life throws at you.

In my book, The Art of Resilience: A Practical Guide to Developing Mental Toughness, I delve deeper into how to cultivate this quality.

I’ve found that life’s most resilient people have this mental toughness. They don’t shy away from challenges or adversity. Instead, they meet them head-on. They understand that it’s these very challenges that shape them and make them stronger.

In the face of adversity, they don’t crumble; they push through. They use their challenges not as an excuse to give up but as fuel to keep going.

This isn’t something that happens overnight. It’s a habit that’s cultivated over time, through consistent practice and a willingness to step outside one’s comfort zone. And trust me when I say it’s a habit worth developing.

4) Seeking support

There’s a common misconception that resilience means going it alone, that it’s all about being independently strong. But in reality, resilient people understand the value of seeking support.

Psychology tells us that social connections can help us manage stress and increase our resilience.

This is why, even in the most challenging times, resilient people are not afraid to lean on others for help. They know that it’s absolutely okay to reach out, to ask for advice, or to simply share their hardships.

I’ve faced moments where I felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. But instead of bottling it up, I reached out. I leaned on family and friends, and in doing so, found the strength to navigate through those tough times.

So remember, seeking support isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s actually a subtle habit of the most resilient among us.

5) Embracing failure

This may sound a bit counter-intuitive, but resilient people embrace failure. Yes, you read that right. They actually welcome it.

Instead of seeing failure as the end of the road, they view it as a stepping stone to success. They understand that failure is not a reflection of their worth but rather an opportunity for growth and learning.

In fact, they often use their failures as fuel to propel them forward. Each setback, each “no,” each stumbling block is seen as a chance to reassess, learn, and bounce back stronger.

According to psychologists, viewing failure as an opportunity can enhance resilience and lead to greater success in the long run.

So, next time you face a setback, remember: it’s not a dead-end; it’s a detour on the path to success. Embrace it, learn from it, and let it strengthen your resolve.

6) Maintaining a positive outlook

Another thing that psychologists often point out is that optimism can boost resilience and help us cope with stress more effectively.

Of course, staying positive during challenging times can feel like an uphill battle. But the most resilient individuals practice maintaining a positive outlook, even when the going gets tough.

They understand that their mindset plays a crucial role in how they respond to life’s challenges. Instead of getting bogged down by negativity, they consciously choose to focus on the positives.

But it’s not about denying reality or ignoring the difficulties. It’s about acknowledging the tough times while also recognizing that they are temporary. It’s about holding onto hope and believing in their ability to overcome.

So, cultivating a positive mindset isn’t simply about feeling good; it’s a key habit that can help us navigate life’s ups and downs more effectively.

7) Taking care of oneself

At the end of the day, resilience boils down to one crucial habit: taking care of oneself.

Resilient people understand that they can’t pour from an empty cup. They prioritize self-care, ensuring they are physically, emotionally, and mentally well-equipped to face life’s challenges.

This means adopting practices like:

• Regular exercise
• A healthy diet
• Adequate sleep
• Time for relaxation and leisure
• Practicing self-compassion

Resilience isn’t just about how we face adversity; it’s also about how we recharge and renew ourselves in order to keep going. So take care of yourself. It’s not just the best thing you can do for you; it’s also the best thing you can do for your resilience.

Final thoughts: It’s a journey

Building resilience isn’t about quick fixes or overnight transformations. It’s a journey, a process of cultivating habits that fortify us mentally and emotionally.

In my book, The Art of Resilience: A Practical Guide to Developing Mental Toughness, I delve deeper into the intricacies of this journey and offer practical insights for developing your resilience.

But remember, at the heart of it all, resilience is about embracing our human experience in its entirety. It’s about recognizing our capacity to adapt, grow, and thrive in the face of life’s inevitable challenges.

So, as you reflect on these seven habits, consider how each one resonates with you. Which ones do you already practice? Which ones could you incorporate into your life?

Remember, resilience isn’t a destination we arrive at; it’s a journey we embark on. And with each step we take, each habit we cultivate, we become stronger, more adaptable, and better equipped to thrive no matter what life throws our way.