I thought retiring meant I could finally relax, but I ended up feeling restless instead. Here’s how I found new ways to create a life I love

For years, I imagined retirement as the ultimate reward—lazy mornings, no deadlines, and finally having the freedom to do whatever I wanted.

But when the day finally came, something unexpected happened. Instead of feeling relaxed and fulfilled, I felt… restless.

The endless free time that once seemed like a dream quickly became unsettling. Without the structure of work, I found myself wondering, Now what?

It took me a while to realize that retirement isn’t just about stepping away from a job—it’s about redefining purpose, routine, and what truly brings joy. I had to shift my mindset and explore new ways to create a life I actually loved, not just one that looked good on paper.

Here’s what I learned along the way.

1) Embrace the unexpected

Retirement, for many, is painted as this idyllic period of relaxation and peace. And yes, the first few months were exactly that.

But the novelty quickly wore off, and what once felt like freedom started to feel like a void.

Without the structure of work, my days blurred together, and I found myself searching for a sense of purpose I hadn’t realized I would miss.

It was uncomfortable at first, like standing at a crossroads without a map.

This was my first lesson in retirement – it doesn’t always look like what you expect. And that’s okay.

Instead of resisting these feelings of restlessness, I began to see them as signals. They were nudges, pushing me towards finding new ways to spend my time that were rewarding and fulfilling.

So, if you’re stepping into retirement soon, remember this – expect the unexpected. And when restlessness hits, don’t panic. It’s just a sign that there’s more out there for you to explore.

2) Find fulfilment in hobbies

In the midst of my retirement restlessness, I stumbled upon an old love – painting. I’d always enjoyed art in my younger years but had lost touch with it amidst the hustle and bustle of career and family life.

With ample time now at my disposal, I decided to pick up the brush again. And boy, was it a game-changer!

Not only did painting help me channel my restlessness into something creative, it also brought a deep sense of fulfilment.

I started off rusty, but with each passing day, I could see myself improving. It was satisfying to see my progress and it gave me something to look forward to each day.

Here’s my advice – dust off those old hobbies or pick up new ones. They can be amazing outlets for your energy and provide a sense of accomplishment that you might miss from your working days.

Plus, who knows? You might discover a talent you never knew you had!

3) Discover the power of mindfulness

As my journey into retirement continued, I began to delve deeper into the concept of mindfulness.

At first, it was merely a buzzword I’d come across in articles and conversations. But as I explored it further, I came to realize its profound impact on my state of mind.

Mindfulness is about living in the present moment, accepting it without judgment. It’s about letting go of past regrets and future anxieties and focusing on the here and now. I found it to be a powerful tool in combating my restlessness.

In fact, the exploration of mindfulness had such a profound impact on me that I decided to delve deeper into this subject in my book, “The Art of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Living in the Moment“. In it, I share practical techniques and insights on how to incorporate mindfulness into everyday life.

Practicing mindfulness can help you navigate retirement with a sense of calm and presence. It allows you to appreciate the simple joys of life that often go unnoticed amidst the hustle of our working years.

4) The struggle with loneliness

One thing that many people don’t address when talking about retirement is the specter of loneliness. It’s a tough reality but research shows that it’s quite common in older people.

True enough, when I retired, my social interactions took a significant hit. No more office chatter, no more team lunches, no more casual catch-ups by the coffee machine. I was suddenly stripped of a social circle I had taken for granted.

It was hard, no doubt. But it also pushed me to actively seek out social connections outside my previous work context. I started joining community groups, volunteering at local events, and even taking up group classes at the local community center.

Through these activities, not only did I make new friends, but I also found myself involved in causes and hobbies that brought me joy and gave me purpose.

Don’t underestimate the power of social connection in your retirement years. Step out of your comfort zone and make an effort to meet new people. It can add a whole new dimension to your life post-retirement.

5) Less is more

In a bid to fight off restlessness, it can be tempting to fill retirement with a flurry of activities. The more, the merrier, right? Well, not always.

When I first felt the restlessness creeping in, my instinct was to cram my schedule with all sorts of activities – painting classes, book clubs, volunteering, gym sessions, you name it. But instead of feeling fulfilled, I started to feel overwhelmed.

That’s when I realised the importance of balance. Yes, it’s crucial to keep yourself occupied and engaged in retirement. But it’s equally important to not overdo it.

Remember, retirement is also about enjoying the leisurely pace of life that you’ve earned after years of hard work. It’s okay to have days where you do absolutely nothing. It’s okay to savour moments of quiet and solitude.

So don’t pressure yourself to fill every minute of your day. Sometimes, less truly is more.

6) Create a routine

It’s ironic that after years of working in a structured environment with set schedules, we yearn for flexibility in retirement. But when I finally had all the time in the world with no set routine, I felt adrift.

I found that having some structure to my days gave me a sense of purpose and kept restlessness at bay. It didn’t need to be a rigid schedule like my workdays had been, but a loose routine that gave my days some semblance of order.

I started setting aside specific times for my hobbies, exercise, social activities, and yes, even relaxation. This routine became my anchor, providing a sense of familiarity and stability amidst the newness of retirement.

So, consider creating a new routine for yourself in retirement. It doesn’t need to be strict or packed with activities. It just needs to provide a framework that can guide your day-to-day life and give you a sense of purpose and stability.

7) Redefine retirement

Lastly, the most important thing I’ve learned in this journey is that retirement isn’t about stopping. It’s about transitioning. It’s a shift from one phase of life to another, equally significant and filled with potential.

Instead of seeing it as the end of productivity or purpose, it can be an opportunity to explore new passions, deepen relationships, and create a lifestyle that aligns with what truly brings joy. Retirement isn’t about stepping back—it’s about stepping into a new chapter with intention.

Research shows that having a positive attitude about aging leads to better health, greater life satisfaction, and even a longer lifespan. Those who see aging as a time of growth and possibility tend to stay more active, socially engaged, and mentally sharp.

Reframing retirement—and aging itself—not as a decline, but as a transition into a new phase filled with potential, allows us to embrace it with excitement rather than apprehension.

The key is to stay open to change and redefine what fulfillment looks like beyond a career. Whether it’s pursuing hobbies, learning new skills, or giving back in meaningful ways, retirement can be just as dynamic and rewarding as any other stage of life—if we allow it to be.

Final thoughts: Embracing the journey

Retirement, like any substantial life transition, comes with its own set of challenges and opportunities. The sense of restlessness that I experienced, and that you might be facing or will face, is a part of this journey.

It’s a signal urging us to explore, to find new paths, to create a life we love beyond our working years. It’s a nudge towards redefining what fulfillment looks like for us.

And remember, as I’ve explored in my book “The Art of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Living in the Moment“, mindfulness can be a powerful tool in navigating this journey. It can help us stay present and appreciate the ongoing process of self-discovery and growth.

So go ahead. Embrace the restlessness, the uncertainty, the thrill of starting anew. Because retirement isn’t just about ending a career. It’s about beginning a new chapter – one filled with exploration, discovery, and joy.