8 behaviors that show a woman has low standards for herself

There’s a fine line between being adaptable and having low standards, especially when it comes to ourselves.

As a woman, figuring out where you stand can be tricky. You might think you’re just easy-going, but could you be selling yourself short instead?

I’m Tina Fey, founder of the Love Connection blog, and a relationship expert. I’ve seen many women unknowingly compromise their worth, settling for less than they deserve.

In this article, I’ll be identifying 8 behaviors that might indicate you have low standards for yourself. Now remember, this isn’t about shaming or blaming – it’s about self-awareness and empowerment.

So, let’s dive in and take a closer look at these behaviors, shall we?

1) Settling for less

We’ve all been there, finding ourselves in situations where we may not be fully satisfied, but we stick around anyway.

As women, it’s not uncommon to feel the need to compromise, to settle. But there’s a difference between compromising on the small stuff and settling for less than you deserve.

This could apply to jobs, relationships, or even personal goals. If you find yourself constantly accepting less than you’re worth, it might be a sign of low standards.

In the realm of relationships, it’s about accepting less than respectful behavior or convincing yourself that you can change a person who clearly isn’t right for you.

In terms of career, it might be about sticking with a job that doesn’t value your work or compensate you fairly.

This isn’t about being entitled or demanding. It’s about recognizing your worth and standing up for it.

So ladies, take a moment to reflect on this. Are you settling for less? If yes, it’s time to reassess and raise those standards. Because you, my dear, are worth so much more.

2) Ignoring your own needs

Now let’s talk about the art of self-care. As women, we often find ourselves taking care of everyone else’s needs before our own.

In my early years, I was guilty of this too, always putting others first. But over time, I realized it was like trying to fill cups from an empty pitcher.

Ignoring your own needs is not noble, it’s a clear sign of low self-standards. You can’t pour from an empty cup, after all.

Audre Lorde once said, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”

Lorde’s words resonate with truth. We must prioritize our own needs and well-being. It’s not just about bubble baths and spa days; it’s about mental health, setting boundaries, and making time for things that fulfil you.

3) Tolerating disrespect and toxic relationships

Toxic relationships, whether they’re romantic, familial, or platonic, can be a major indicator of low self-standards.

It’s painful to admit that someone you care about is toxic. I’ve been there. It’s hard to accept that a relationship that should bring you joy is actually causing you pain.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I dive deep into the dynamics of unhealthy relationships and provide practical advice on how to break free from them.

If you’re constantly making excuses for someone’s behavior, walking on eggshells around them, or feeling emotionally drained after spending time with them, it’s a sign of a toxic relationship.

The people in your life should respect and uplift you. If they’re doing the opposite, it might be time to reassess those relationships.

4) Constantly seeking validation from others

When a woman constantly seeks validation from others, she places her self-worth in their hands. She relies on compliments, approval, or social media likes to feel good about herself.

Instead of trusting her own judgment, she looks to others to confirm that she’s enough. Over time, this can make her feel like she’s always performing rather than just being herself.

The problem with this habit is that it never truly satisfies.

No matter how much approval she gets, it’s never enough because external validation is temporary. The moment people stop giving her attention, she starts doubting herself again.

This cycle keeps her stuck, always chasing approval instead of building real confidence.

In contrast, a woman with high standards knows that confidence comes from within. She doesn’t need others to tell her she’s smart, beautiful, or worthy—she already believes it.

When she stops relying on external validation, she becomes more secure in herself. And that kind of self-assurance is far more powerful than any compliment.

5) Accepting bare-minimum effort from others

When someone truly cares, they show it through their actions. But when a woman has low standards, she accepts the bare minimum.

She convinces herself that breadcrumbs of effort are enough.

Maybe it’s a friend who only reaches out when they need something or a partner who puts in zero effort to make her feel valued. Instead of expecting more, she settles for whatever she’s given.

The issue with this is that it sets the tone for how people treat her. If she never asks for more, why would anyone give it?

She may feel frustrated or unappreciated, but she keeps making excuses. She tells herself that at least they’re still around, that some effort is better than none. But deep down, she knows she deserves better.

If this sounds familiar, know that you can aim higher. You can surround yourself with people who show up, make an effort, and genuinely care.

You won’t have to beg for attention or appreciation because the right people naturally give it. And when someone can’t meet your higher standards? Well, then, don’t be afraid to walk away.

6) Not setting boundaries

Ah, boundaries. Those invisible lines we draw to ensure we are treated with respect and consideration.

In my own life, learning to set boundaries was a game-changer. It helped me prioritize my time and energy, and fostered healthier relationships.

Not setting or enforcing boundaries is a clear sign of low self-standards. If you’re always available for everyone else, always saying ‘yes’ when you want to say ‘no’, or tolerating behavior that makes you uncomfortable, you’re not respecting your own limits.

Setting boundaries isn’t about being selfish or unkind. It’s about self-respect and ensuring others respect you as well.

Your time, energy, and comfort are valuable – protect them.

7) Fear of demanding more

Now let’s talk about the fear of demanding more. Whether it’s in relationships, at work, or in personal growth, this fear can be a clear sign that you’re setting your standards low.

The problem is, when you’re afraid to demand more, you end up accepting less than you deserve. You stay quiet when you should speak up. You settle for low effort, low pay, or one-sided relationships because you don’t want to rock the boat.

Over time, this teaches people that they don’t have to do much to keep you around. And once that pattern is set, it’s hard to break.

I used to think that asking for more meant I was being difficult. I worried about upsetting people or coming off as ungrateful.

But the truth is, no one is going to hand you what you deserve if you don’t ask for it. Whether it’s a raise, better treatment in a relationship, or more respect from friends, you have to set the standard yourself.

If you don’t, others will set it for you—and it will usually be lower than you’d like.

8) Disregarding self-improvement

Lastly, when a woman disregards self-improvement, it often reflects low standards she has set for herself.

She settles for the version of herself that feels safe and familiar rather than striving to grow. Instead of pushing for better opportunities, learning new skills, or improving her mindset, she stays in the same routines and relationships, even if they’re unfulfilling.

This isn’t because she lacks potential—it’s because she doesn’t believe she deserves more.

Avoiding growth often comes from fear—fear of failure, rejection, or even outgrowing certain people.

But the longer we avoid self-improvement, the more stagnant our life becomes. We may accept low-effort relationships, stay in a job we dislike, or allow bad habits to continue simply because change feels too hard.

Eventually, this mindset keeps us stuck, making it even harder to break free from patterns that don’t serve us.

Raising personal standards starts with self-investment. Growth doesn’t mean perfection—it means valuing progress and believing that you are worth the effort.

When you choose to challenge yourself, learn, and evolve, everything around you starts to shift. You attract better relationships, create new opportunities, and, most importantly, starts seeing yourself as someone who deserves more.

Wrapping up

There you have it, ladies. These behaviors are often signs of low self-standards. But remember, recognizing these signs is the first step towards growth and change.

And change is possible. You deserve to live a life of respect, satisfaction, and fulfillment. You deserve to be treated with dignity and love. Don’t settle for less.

If you’ve identified with any of these signs, I encourage you to grab a copy of my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship. It’s packed with practical advice and strategies to help you raise your standards and reclaim your worth.

Remember, your worth is inherent. You are enough just as you are. And you absolutely have the power to raise your standards for yourself.

Here’s to growth, self-love, and high standards!