8 phrases emotionally unavailable people love to use, according to psychology

Emotional unavailability can be difficult to spot at first, but it often reveals itself through the words people choose.

According to psychology, emotionally unavailable individuals tend to rely on certain phrases that deflect vulnerability, avoid commitment, or keep others at a distance.

In this article, we’ll explore eight common phrases emotionally unavailable people love to use, helping you recognize these patterns and navigate your relationships with greater clarity:

1) “I’m not ready for a relationship right now.”

This phrase is a clear sign of emotional unavailability.

It can leave you feeling unsure and questioning the potential of your relationship. It’s a way for them to avoid commitment and emotional intimacy while keeping you in limbo.

When someone says, “I’m not ready for a relationship right now,” they might be signaling their struggle to open up emotionally.

They could be dealing with past traumas, fear of vulnerability, or simply unwillingness to commit.

Being on the receiving end of this phrase can lead to confusion and frustration.

You might find yourself in a constant state of waiting, hoping they’ll eventually be ‘ready’.

But it’s important to remember that you can’t force someone to be emotionally available.

They need to work through their issues on their own time.

Understanding this phrase, and the psychology behind it, can help you better navigate such situations and make informed decisions about your relationship.

2) “I prefer things casual.”

This phrase might seem quite straightforward at first glance.

After all, some individuals do prefer casual relationships. But when uttered by an emotionally unavailable person, it can take on a different meaning altogether.

“I prefer things casual” can often be their way of avoiding deeper emotional connections and commitment.

They may enjoy your company, but they’re not ready or willing to dive into the emotional depths that come with a serious relationship.

Ironically, while trying to keep things light and stress-free, they may inadvertently create more tension and uncertainty.

This phrase can keep you on your toes, unsure of where you stand or how seriously to take the relationship.

Recognizing this phrase for what it is, a sign of emotional unavailability, can help you better manage your expectations and decide what’s best for you.

3) “I need space.”

Often used by emotionally unavailable individuals, “I need space” might be a way for them to create emotional distance.

While everyone needs personal space, this phrase can sometimes be a subtle way of avoiding emotional intimacy.

In psychology, the Attachment Theory suggests that our early childhood relationships with our caregivers shape our adult relationships.

Those with an avoidant attachment style often feel uncomfortable with too much closeness and tend to keep their partners at arm’s length.

When an emotionally unavailable person says they need space, they might be expressing their discomfort with closeness, possibly stemming from an avoidant attachment style.

4) “Let’s not label this.”

When emotionally unavailable people say, “Let’s not label this,” it can be their way of maintaining a safe distance from the emotional responsibilities that come with a committed relationship.

They might be carrying past hurts, or simply find it difficult to invest emotionally in a relationship.

It’s important to remember that their reluctance to label the relationship isn’t a reflection of your worth or desirability—it’s more about their own emotional struggles.

They may genuinely care for you, but struggle to express it in the conventional way.

Whenever you hear this phrase, remember to practice self-care and protect your emotional wellbeing.

While understanding their perspective is crucial, it’s equally important to respect your own feelings and needs.

5) “I’m just really busy.”

This phrase might sound familiar—you’ve probably either heard it or used it at some point.

When emotionally unavailable people say, “I’m just really busy,” it can be their way of creating distance and avoiding deeper emotional connections.

We all have busy periods in our lives, and it’s natural to prioritize work, studies, or other commitments at times.

But when this phrase is used regularly to avoid spending quality time together or discussing important matters, it might be a sign of emotional unavailability.

Hearing this phrase can be disappointing and confusing, especially when you’re trying to build a deeper connection.

Recognizing the underlying issue can help you navigate these situations with more clarity and understanding.

6) “I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”

This is a phrase that can be quite confusing.

A personal example comes to mind, where a close friend had been dating someone for a while: Everything seemed to be going well, but when the idea of taking the relationship to the next level came up, the phrase “I don’t want to ruin our friendship” was used.

In this context, it can be a way for emotionally unavailable people to avoid committing to a deeper emotional relationship.

They might genuinely value your friendship and are afraid of risking it by introducing romantic feelings into the equation.

While it might seem like a considerate perspective, it’s also a way for them to shield themselves from the vulnerability that comes with a committed relationship.

7) “You’re too good for me.”

This phrase, while seemingly self-deprecating, is another tactic emotionally unavailable people might use to avoid commitment.

It’s as if they’re implying that they can’t meet your expectations or be the partner you deserve.

While it might sound like a compliment, it’s often just a way to create emotional distance.

It’s crucial to understand that this isn’t about your worth or theirs; it’s about their inability or unwillingness to engage in a deep emotional relationship.

Don’t let this phrase make you question your worth or settle for less than you deserve.

You’re more than good enough, and it’s important to find someone who recognizes that and is emotionally available to build a meaningful relationship with you.

8) “I’m just not a relationship person.”

This phrase can be a clear indication of emotional unavailability.

When someone says, “I’m just not a relationship person,” they’re essentially telling you they’re not ready or willing to invest emotionally in a relationship.

The most important thing to remember is that it’s not your responsibility to change them or wait around hoping they’ll become ‘a relationship person’.

It’s about respecting their stance and, more importantly, respecting your own needs and desires in a relationship.

Emotionally unavailable people might care for you deeply in their own way, but if they’re unable to offer the emotional connection you need, it’s important to consider if the relationship is fulfilling for you.

Your emotional needs are valid, and it’s crucial to be in a relationship where they are acknowledged and met.

Final thoughts

Being in a relationship with an emotionally unavailable person can be a challenging journey, filled with ups and downs.

This article aimed to shed some light on the phrases they often use, and the psychology behind them.

Ultimately, the choice is yours on how to navigate these relationships.

It’s important to understand that it’s not your responsibility to change someone’s emotional availability.

Remember, time and energy spent on trying to change someone else is often time wasted.

Instead, focus on what you can control – your reactions, your boundaries, and your decisions.

Being emotionally intelligent means recognizing where others are coming from, but also standing up for your own emotional needs—it’s about balance and understanding, too.

Here’s to cultivating healthier, more emotionally fulfilling relationships!