9 phrases a narcissist uses to maintain control and manipulate your emotions

Navigating relationships with a narcissist — it’s like traversing a minefield, isn’t it?

You’re constantly on edge, trying to discern their motives but often end up caught in their web of manipulation.

But, what if I told you that there are specific phrases narcissists commonly use to maintain control and manipulate your emotions?

Yes, you heard it right.

Psychology has helped me identify these verbal traps and I want to share this knowledge with you.

In this article, we’re going to uncover 9 key phrases that narcissists use to keep you in their grip. Armed with this insight, you’ll be better equipped to recognize and respond to their manipulative tactics.

So, are you ready to reclaim control of your emotional landscape? Let’s dive in.

1) “You’re overreacting…”

In the world of narcissistic manipulation, this phrase is a classic.

Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?

Narcissists use it as a tool to invalidate your feelings and experiences. By accusing you of overreacting, they aim to make you doubt your reactions to their behavior.

It’s a clever tactic really.

The goal is to make you feel that you’re overly sensitive or unreasonable, thus shifting the blame from their actions onto your response. It’s a form of gaslighting, a psychological manipulation technique narcissists often employ.

But here’s the thing: Your emotions and reactions are valid. They’re your natural response to their actions.

Recognizing this phrase as a manipulation tactic is the first step towards reclaiming your emotional autonomy. Keep an eye out for it, and remember: You have a right to your feelings.

2) “I’m only doing this for your own good…”

Ever heard this one before?

This phrase is often used by narcissists to justify their controlling behavior. The idea they’re selling is that their actions, no matter how hurtful, are in your best interest.

It’s quite insidious, isn’t it?

The psychological concept at play here is called ‘benevolent dominance’. This is when a person exerts control over others while pretending it’s for the controlled person’s benefit.

But don’t be fooled.

Narcissists use this phrase to manipulate you into believing that their control over you is justified. It’s a tactic to make you question your own judgment and rely on theirs instead.

Remember, everyone has the right to make their own decisions. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

3) “I never said that…”

This phrase seems to contradict the previous point, doesn’t it?

While the “I’m only doing this for your own good” phrase is used by narcissists to justify their actions, “I never said that” is used to outright deny them.

This is another form of gaslighting. By denying their previous statements or actions, narcissists attempt to distort your perception of reality.

It’s a tricky maneuver.

You might find yourself questioning your memory or even your sanity. You might start to think, “Maybe I did misremember?”

But hold on.

This is exactly the reaction they’re hoping for. It’s a method to undermine your confidence and make you more susceptible to their influence.

Stay alert for these denials, they’re a sure-fire sign of a narcissist trying to manipulate your emotions. It’s essential to trust your memory and perceptions.

4) “You’re so sensitive…”

Have you ever been told that you’re too sensitive?

This is a common phrase narcissists use to belittle your feelings and reactions. It’s a tactic aimed at making you feel guilty for expressing your emotions.

Think about it.

By labeling you as ‘sensitive’, they’re implying that your feelings are excessive or unwarranted. This is another attempt to invalidate your emotions and make you question your reactions.

It’s a cunning game they play.

The fact is, there’s no such thing as being ‘too sensitive’. Feeling emotions deeply is a natural human trait, not a weakness.

So, the next time someone accuses you of being ‘too sensitive’, remember: It’s not about you. It’s about their inability to respect your feelings.

5) “You don’t understand…”

When a narcissist says “You don’t understand”, what they really mean is:

• “You aren’t agreeing with me”
• “You’re not seeing things from my perspective”
• “You’re not feeding into my narrative”

This phrase is a way for narcissists to dismiss your point of view and assert their dominance. It’s a tactic to manipulate you into doubting your understanding and adopting theirs instead.

Don’t fall for it.

Your understanding, perspective, and narrative are just as valid. Stand your ground and trust your intuition.

6) “You always…” or “You never…”

Have you noticed how these phrases always seem to pop up in arguments? I know I have.

Narcissists love using “You always…” or “You never…” statements to amplify perceived faults or shortcomings. It’s a manipulative way of laying blame on you and deflecting from their own behavior.

Let’s be honest, no one ‘always’ or ‘never’ does something. Life is not that black and white. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, and our behavior varies based on different situations and emotions.

The next time you hear these phrases, remember: It’s not a fair or accurate depiction of who you are. Don’t let anyone use these sweeping generalizations to undermine your self-esteem.

7) “If you really loved me…”

Imagine this scenario: You disagree with something your partner wants to do. Instead of respecting your opinion, they retort, “If you really loved me, you’d support me in this.”

It stings, doesn’t it?

This phrase is a manipulative tactic that narcissists use to guilt-trip you into doing what they want. It’s a way of making you question your love and commitment to them based on your willingness to meet their demands.

But let’s reflect on this.

Is love about unquestioning submission? Should our love for someone else force us to compromise our boundaries?

The answer is a clear ‘no’. Love is about respect and understanding, not manipulation and control. Don’t let anyone use your love for them as a tool to manipulate your emotions.

8) “It’s just a joke…”

I remember a time when a friend of mine would constantly make hurtful remarks, only to brush them off as ‘just a joke’. It made me feel small and insignificant, even though I knew deep down that it wasn’t right.

This phrase is a common tool in a narcissist’s arsenal. By passing off their hurtful comments as humor, they try to sidestep responsibility for their words.

It’s a double whammy.

Not only do they demean you with their ‘joke’, but they also accuse you of not having a sense of humor if you express your hurt. It’s like adding salt to the wound.

Remember, humor should never be at the expense of someone else’s feelings. If someone uses ‘just a joke’ as an excuse to belittle you, know that it’s not about your sense of humor. It’s about their lack of respect.

9) “Nobody will ever love you like I do…”

And finally, we’ve reached the most dangerous phrase a narcissist can use: “Nobody will ever love you like I do.”

It’s a statement designed to make you feel dependent on their love and affection. It’s a way to make you believe that you’re unworthy of anyone else’s love, perpetuating a cycle of dependency and control.

But here’s the truth.

You are worthy of love, respect, and kindness. Nobody has the right to make you feel otherwise. And anyone who truly loves you would never use such a phrase to manipulate your emotions.

This phrase is a glaring red flag, signaling the depths to which a narcissist will sink to maintain control. Recognizing it for what it is can be a powerful step towards breaking free from their manipulative grasp.

What can you do now?

Recognizing the phrases narcissists use to manipulate emotions is a crucial step towards breaking free from their control. But what comes next?

• Set boundaries: Establishing clear boundaries is a powerful way to protect your mental and emotional health.
• Seek support: Reach out to trusted friends, family, or professional counselors. You don’t have to face this alone.
• Practice self-care: Prioritize your well-being. Engage in activities that make you feel good and help you reconnect with yourself.

It’s not an easy journey, but remember, you’re stronger than you think. You have the power to stand up against manipulation and reclaim your emotional autonomy.

In the end, it’s about understanding your worth and refusing to let anyone undermine it. So, as you move forward, let this be your guiding principle: You are worthy of respect, kindness, and genuine love. Don’t settle for anything less.