There’s a thin line between genuinely being good and just pretending to be one.
The difference is all about authenticity. Pretending to be good involves careful orchestration of actions to create a specific image, while hiding their true colors.
Being genuinely good, however, comes from the heart and doesn’t require a pretense.
But, there are those who have become masters of this art of pretense. They’ve perfected certain behaviors that make them seem like the nicest people on earth.
In this article, we’ll be unveiling these 7 behaviors commonly exhibited by people who are just pretending to be good. Let’s dive in.
1) They are always agreeable
Let’s face it, everyone loves a yes-person.
People who have mastered the art of pretending to be good know this all too well. They tend to be agreeable, often going with the flow to avoid conflict.
They’ll rarely express their own opinion if it goes against the grain. Instead, they opt to voice what they believe others want to hear.
This makes them come across as flexible and easy to get along with. It’s a strategic move to win over people and appear more likable.
Remember that healthy disagreement is a mark of authenticity.
If someone is always agreeable, it might be a red flag that they’re just pretending to be good.
Keep an eye out for this behavior. It’s not about being judgmental, but becoming more discerning in our interactions with others.
2) They’re overly generous
I’ll never forget an old friend of mine, let’s call him John.
John was always the first to pick up the tab, regardless of how expensive the meal was. He’d also shower people with gifts, often for no apparent reason.
At first, it seemed like John was just a generous guy. But over time, I started to notice a pattern.
His generosity was often followed by a favor request or an expectation of something in return.
It felt like his acts of kindness were more about earning brownie points than genuine altruism.
People who pretend to be good often use generosity as a tool to make themselves appear better. It’s like a mask they wear to hide their actual intentions.
Take note of this behavior. Generosity is a wonderful trait, but when it’s used with ulterior motives, it becomes manipulation.
3) They’re perfect…almost too perfect
In psychology, there’s a concept known as the “Halo Effect”. It’s our tendency to believe that if someone is good in one area, they must be good in all areas.
People who pretend to be good often exploit this human bias. They meticulously curate their image, making sure to always present themselves as flawless.
They’re always on their best behavior, never make a mistake, and are always dressed impeccably.
This almost-too-perfect persona can be quite appealing. After all, who doesn’t like perfection? But if it feels too good to be true, it probably is.
Authentic people are not afraid to show their flaws and make mistakes because they understand that it’s part of being human.
Whenever someone appears to be perfect all the time, it might just be a sign that they’re pretending to be a good person.
4) They are masters of empathy
Empathy is a powerful tool. It allows us to connect with others on a deeper level and understand their experiences.
People who pretend to be good often use empathy as a strategy, not as a genuine feeling.
They are quick to show understanding and compassion, even when it seems out of place or exaggerated.
They know that being empathetic can make them seem caring and kind. It’s a way for them to gain the trust and affection of others while hiding their true intentions.
While empathy is indeed a sign of a good person, when it’s overdone or feels forced, it could be a sign that someone is just putting up a front.
Pay close attention to how others express their empathy.
5) They are always there…until they’re not
A while back, I had a colleague who was always around when things were going well.
She was the life of every office party, always ready to lend a hand, and was always there to celebrate victories.
But when things got tough, when deadlines were looming, or when there was a disagreement in the team, she would suddenly become unavailable.
It was as if she would only associate herself with positivity and success, and avoid any negativity or failure.
This behavior is common among people who pretend to be good.
They like to be associated with positive experiences and disassociate from anything negative or challenging.
True goodness, however, involves being there in both good times and bad. It’s about standing by others even when things get tough.
If you notice someone is only around during the sunny days, it might be a sign they’re not as good as they pretend to be.
6) They always play the victim
Playing the victim is a common tactic used by people who pretend to be good.
They paint themselves as the innocent party in every situation, often blaming others for their problems or failures.
This behavior allows them to manipulate others’ emotions, gain sympathy, and divert attention away from their own shortcomings.
It’s important to remember that everyone encounters problems and makes mistakes.
Authentic people acknowledge their role in these situations and take responsibility for their actions.
If you ever see someone to be always playing the victim, it might be a sign that they’re just pretending to be good.
Keep an eye out for this behavior, it’s more common than you might think.
7) They’re excessively charming
Charm can be incredibly enchanting. But when it’s overused, it can be a sign of someone pretending to be good.
These individuals are often overly charismatic, using their charm to win over people. They know exactly what to say and when to say it.
They’re experts at making people feel special and important.
But genuine goodness doesn’t require charm. It’s about being kind, considerate, and respectful.
It’s about treating others well, not because of what they can offer or how they make you look, but simply because it’s the right thing to do.
Excessive charm can often mask ulterior motives. Next time you encounter a charmer, remember to look beyond the surface.
Final thoughts: The art of discernment
The complexity of human behavior is a fascinating and often perplexing subject. One such perplexity is the phenomenon of people mastering the art of pretending to be good.
Understanding these behaviors isn’t about creating a divide between us and them.
Nor is it about becoming cynical or mistrustful of every seemingly good person we meet.
Instead, it’s about cultivating discernment.
It’s about recognizing that sometimes, things aren’t as they seem on the surface. And it’s about understanding that genuine goodness doesn’t need a facade.
At the end of the day, it’s not our job to judge others or expose their pretense. But it is our responsibility to protect ourselves from potential manipulation and deceit.
As Maya Angelou wonderfully said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
This wisdom holds especially true in navigating through the world where not everyone might be as good as they pretend to be.
So next time you encounter a person who seems almost too good to be true, remember these seven behaviors.
They might just help you see things in a different light.
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