People who are calm on the surface but in survival mode underneath usually display these 8 behaviors

There’s often a significant gap between how people appear on the outside and what’s really going on inside them.

Take a calm exterior, for instance. You might see someone who seems unflappable, always cool under pressure. But what if underneath that tranquility, they’re actually in survival mode?

Those who are constantly battling with life’s challenges but manage to maintain a calm demeanor usually exhibit certain behaviors. And once you know what to look for, you’ll be able to spot these individuals more easily.

In the following article, we’ll delve into the eight behaviors typically displayed by people who are calm on the surface, but beneath that, are secretly in survival mode.

1) They’re always prepared

You see, calmness can often be a disguise for preparedness.

People who are in survival mode beneath their tranquil exterior often have a habit of being ready for any scenario that comes their way. It’s like they’ve got an internal checklist, ticking off potential issues before they arise.

It’s not that they’re expecting the worst, but rather, they’re prepared for it. This readiness often manifests as having everything organized and in place, be it at work or home.

Such individuals rarely seem caught off guard or flustered – even when things don’t go as planned. Because they’ve already thought about the possible outcomes and have a game plan in place.

This constant state of preparedness can sometimes be exhausting for them. But it’s also what helps them maintain that cool and collected exterior that you see.

So next time you marvel at someone’s ability to stay calm in the face of pressure, remember that there might be a lot more going on beneath the surface.

2) They’re skilled at hiding their stress

A lesson I’ve learned from observing these individuals is that they have mastered the art of concealing their stress.

Let me share a personal experience.

I have a friend named Alex who always appears so tranquil, even during the most challenging times. I used to wonder how he managed to maintain such an air of serenity until one day, he confided in me.

Alex told me about the anxiety and worry that often consumed him internally, but he had conditioned himself not to show it. He didn’t want his stress to affect others around him or make them feel uncomfortable. So, he learned to put on a calm façade.

This doesn’t mean he was being inauthentic or deceptive. He was just coping with his stress in his own way – by not allowing it to disrupt his external demeanor.

It’s worth noting that this ability to mask stress is a double-edged sword. While it can be beneficial in maintaining a calm exterior, it can also lead to internalizing stress, which can have its own set of health implications.

So, while observing this behavior in others can be insightful, it’s crucial to be mindful of our own boundaries when handling our stress levels.

3) They practice mindfulness

Mindfulness, a technique rooted in Buddhist meditation, has been scientifically shown to help manage stress and anxiety.

It involves bringing one’s attention to the present moment, and many who appear calm on the surface but are in survival mode underneath use this practice.

These individuals often carve out time in their day to sit quietly and reflect, focusing on their breathing or sensory experiences. This practice allows them to center themselves amidst the chaos of life’s challenges.

In fact, a study found that mindfulness meditation can reduce symptoms of stress and anxiety in the general population.

So when you see someone staying calm amidst the storm, it might be that they’re engaging in mindfulness practices behind the scenes. It’s a survival strategy that not only helps them to cope with their internal struggles but also contributes to their calm exterior.

4) They prioritize self-care

People who maintain a calm facade while being in survival mode underneath tend to prioritize self-care.

They understand the importance of taking care of their physical, emotional, and mental well-being, even when they are faced with stressful situations.

These individuals might have a regular exercise routine, a balanced diet, and ensure they get enough sleep. They might take out time for hobbies that bring them joy or spend quality time with loved ones.

This focus on self-care is not just about keeping up appearances. It’s about preserving their energy and ensuring they have the resilience to handle whatever comes their way.

While it may seem like these people are effortlessly calm, the reality is that they are investing time and energy into self-care practices that help them manage their stress levels and maintain their composed exterior.

5) They lean on their support networks

No man is an island, as the saying goes, and this is especially true for those who appear calm but are in survival mode underneath.

They often have a trusted circle of friends or family whom they lean on during challenging times.

These individuals understand the value of connection and emotional support. They know that sharing their worries or fears with someone they trust can help lighten their burden.

It might be a late-night phone call to a best friend, a comforting chat with a family member, or even seeking professional help like a therapist.

These interactions provide them with the strength to face their struggles and continue to present a calm demeanor to the world.

Remember, everyone needs help sometimes, and it’s perfectly okay to reach out to your support system when you need them.

Because behind every calm exterior, there’s often a network of support providing love, understanding, and encouragement.

6) They set boundaries

One thing I’ve noticed about people who appear calm on the surface but are in survival mode underneath is their ability to set boundaries. This is something I’ve had to learn myself.

There was a time when I would say yes to everything, from helping a friend move house to taking on extra work projects, even if it meant compromising my own well-being. But over time, this took a toll on me.

I realized that saying no and setting boundaries wasn’t selfish; it was necessary for my mental health. So, I started to be more selective about the commitments I took on and made sure that I had enough time for self-care.

People who are in survival mode often do this too. They understand that they can’t be everything to everyone and that it’s essential to protect their time and energy. This ability to set boundaries helps them manage their stress levels and maintain their calm demeanor.

Remember, it’s okay to set limits and prioritize your needs. It’s not about being selfish; it’s about self-preservation.

7) They take things one step at a time

Life can often feel like a juggling act, especially for those who are calmly navigating through survival mode.

One key strategy these individuals employ is taking things one step at a time.

Rather than getting overwhelmed by the big picture, they focus on the task at hand. They break down their challenges into manageable chunks and tackle them one by one.

This approach prevents them from feeling overwhelmed and allows them to maintain their calm demeanor.

This doesn’t mean they ignore the bigger picture; they’re just good at keeping things in perspective. They understand that Rome wasn’t built in a day and that progress, no matter how small, is still progress.

8) They show kindness to themselves

Above all, people who are calm on the surface but are in survival mode underneath are often kind to themselves.

They understand that they’re human and it’s okay to have moments of struggle or doubt.

They don’t beat themselves up over mistakes or berate themselves for not being perfect. Instead, they practice self-compassion, acknowledging their feelings and giving themselves the same kindness they would give a friend.

This self-compassion helps them manage their internal battles and maintain their calm exterior. It reminds them that it’s okay not to be okay sometimes, and that every challenge is an opportunity for growth and learning.

So, remember to be kind to yourself, because you’re doing the best you can. And that’s more than enough.

Final reflection: It’s about resilience

At the core of this exploration into human behavior is the concept of resilience.

Resilience is the psychological strength that enables some people to withstand adversity and bounce back from difficult life events. It’s an invaluable quality, particularly for those who, beneath their calm exterior, are constantly in survival mode.

Research from the American Psychological Association suggests that resilience is not a trait that people either have or do not have. Rather, it involves behaviors, thoughts, and actions that can be learned and developed by anyone.

This means that even if you’re not naturally calm under pressure, you can learn to become more so. You can adopt practices like mindfulness, self-care, setting boundaries, and taking things one step at a time, all of which contribute to building resilience.

So, as we conclude this exploration into the behaviors of those who are calm on the surface but in survival mode underneath, let it serve as a reminder of our inherent human capacity for resilience.

Everyone faces challenges, and everyone has their own ways of dealing with them. But at the end of the day, it’s our ability to bounce back, to keep going despite the odds, that truly defines us. And that’s something worth reflecting on.