8 subtle phrases a seasoned gaslighter will use to make you doubt yourself

There’s a thin line between healthy persuasion and harmful manipulation – and gaslighting is a dangerous dance on the wrong side of that line.

Gaslighting is a psychological tactic where someone makes you question your own perception, memory, or even sanity, often to serve their own agenda.

It’s insidious, subtle, and can lead you to doubt your own abilities – a big no-no in the entrepreneurial world where self-confidence is key.

Seasoned gaslighters know just the right phrases to keep you off balance. So, let’s shed some light on their tactics.

Here are eight subtle phrases that a skilled gaslighter might use to make you second-guess yourself. Knowledge is power, after all.

1) “You’re just imagining things”

An entrepreneur’s journey can often be a lonely one, filled with decisions that can make or break the business. Doubts and second thoughts are a part of the process.

A seasoned gaslighter knows how to exploit this natural vulnerability.

This phrase is a classic gaslighting tool. When you’re uncertain or anxious, they’ll dismiss your concerns as figments of your imagination.

You then start questioning your own judgment, which can impact your business decisions.

Expressing doubt or seeking validation is not a weakness. It’s human nature, especially when high stakes are involved.

But when someone consistently dismisses your concerns as ‘imaginary’, it’s time to take note.

That’s gaslighting at work, subtly undermining your confidence and shaking the foundations of your self-belief.

In the entrepreneurial world, trusting your instincts is vital. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

2) “You’re too sensitive”

I recall a time when I was striving to get my first business venture off the ground. I had partnered with an individual who seemed experienced and trustworthy.

Whenever I raised concerns about our strategy or execution, he’d often brush me off with a simple, “You’re too sensitive.”

Initially, I thought maybe he was right. Maybe I was overreacting or being overly cautious.

But as time passed, I realized that this phrase was a subtle way of making me doubt my own instincts and feelings.

It’s a classic gaslighting phrase, designed to make you feel that your reactions are irrational or exaggerated.

In retrospect, my ‘sensitivity’ was actually keen intuition and attention to detail – both crucial elements in any successful business.

If someone tells you that you’re ‘too sensitive’, don’t let it shake your confidence. Trust your instincts – they are often your best guide in the entrepreneurial journey.

3) “I never said that”

In the world of business, words matter. A promise made can turn into a deal, while a single miscommunication can lead to a lost opportunity.

Gaslighters, however, have a knack for twisting words and denying statements made earlier.

The phrase “I never said that” is a common gaslighting tactic. It’s designed to make you question your own memory and understanding, leading to self-doubt.

This can be particularly damaging in business negotiations or team management where clear communication is essential.

Consistent exposure to this type of gaslighting can actually lead to memory distortion over time—a phenomenon psychologists refer to as ‘source amnesia’.

Next time someone tries to convince you they ‘never said that’, stand your ground. You might be dealing with a gaslighter.

4) “Everyone thinks you’re overreacting”

Just as in sales, a gaslighter knows the power of social pressure and will use it to their advantage.

They’ll make you believe that your worries or concerns are not only invalid, but also that everyone else thinks the same.

This phrase is designed to isolate you and make you feel unsupported. It can be especially damaging in a business setting where team dynamics and peer opinions matter significantly.

A gaslighter uses such tactics to gain control and assert dominance. If you find yourself doubting your actions based on what ‘everyone’ supposedly thinks, take a step back.

Seek direct feedback from your peers or team members instead. Chances are, the ‘everyone’ in the gaslighter’s narrative doesn’t exist.

5) “You’re not remembering it correctly”

The entrepreneurial journey is often a rollercoaster of emotions, filled with highs, lows, and everything in between.

It’s a path that demands strength, resilience, and an unwavering belief in oneself. When someone starts to question your memory or perception, it can feel like a blow to the heart.

The phrase “You’re not remembering it correctly” is a classic gaslighting technique. It’s designed to make you doubt your own experiences and memories.

In the world of business, where decisions often hinge on past events or conversations, this can be particularly destabilizing.

If you hear these words, take a deep breath and trust in your own experiences. You’ve made it this far on your entrepreneurial journey for a reason.

Your memories and perceptions are valid – don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

6) “You’re making a big deal out of nothing”

I remember when I was launching my second business. I was dealing with an important client, and something felt off about the project’s progress.

When I voiced my concerns to my business partner, he brushed it off, saying, “You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”

At first, I questioned myself. Maybe I was overthinking things?

But as the project continued, the issues I’d flagged became glaringly obvious, leading to a delay in delivery and a strained relationship with our client.

This phrase is a gaslighter’s tool, designed to belittle your concerns and make you question your judgment.

It’s particularly harmful in business scenarios where attention to detail and proactive problem-solving can be the difference between success and failure.

In hindsight, my concerns were valid. So if you ever find yourself in a similar situation, trust your instincts. It’s not ‘nothing’ if it matters to you.

7) “You’re not good at this”

In the world of entrepreneurship, confidence is key. You need to believe in your abilities and your vision to navigate the challenges that come your way.

A gaslighter, however, will try to shake this confidence with a simple, cutting phrase: “You’re not good at this.”

This statement is a direct attack on your self-esteem, designed to make you doubt your skills and abilities.

It can be particularly damaging in a business context, where self-belief often drives success.

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and no one is perfect. Constructive feedback is valuable, but outright criticism without any basis is a gaslighting tactic.

Don’t let anyone’s words diminish your belief in your abilities. You are capable and deserving of success.

8) “I’m just trying to help you”

Gaslighters are masters of disguise. They veil their manipulation under the guise of assistance or concern, making it all the more challenging to recognize their tactics.

The phrase, “I’m just trying to help you,” is a prime example.

It’s designed to make you question your own reaction to their actions. They position themselves as the caring mentor or partner, while subtly undermining your confidence and self-belief.

In business, this can lead to a loss of autonomy and stifle your growth as an entrepreneur.

Real help uplifts and empowers. It doesn’t breed self-doubt or make you feel incapable.

If the ‘help’ you’re receiving consistently leaves you feeling less confident or capable, it might not be help at all.

Trust yourself and your instinct. You know what’s best for you and your business.

Final reflections: The power of self-trust

The intricate web of human communication is often a delicate dance between influence and manipulation. And in this dance, gaslighting stands out as a particularly damaging misstep.

The eight phrases we’ve explored are just a glimpse into the subtle tactics a seasoned gaslighter might use.

But remember, recognizing these phrases is the first step towards reclaiming your confidence and autonomy.

As Tony Robbins once said, “The only person who is truly holding you back is you.”

This statement holds profound truth, especially when it comes to gaslighting.

Yes, a gaslighter can make you doubt your abilities, your decisions, even your sanity. But at the end of the day, your trust in yourself is your strongest armor.

Every entrepreneur’s journey is filled with external influences – both positive and negative. But your internal compass – your faith in yourself – should always be your guiding force.

Trusting in yourself, in your instincts, and in your abilities can be the difference between being manipulated and standing strong.

As you navigate the world of business (and life), remember to trust yourself. Because no one knows you better than you do.