It’s no secret that relationships can become more challenging to maintain as we get older.
Life gets busy, priorities shift, and sometimes, without even realizing it, we start to drift apart from the people we care about. But often, it’s not just external circumstances that create distance—it’s the subtle behaviors we bring into our interactions that quietly push others away.
Today, we’re diving into six such behaviors that often cause people to grow apart from others over time.
If any of these resonate with you, don’t worry—it’s never too late to turn things around.
Let’s get started.
1) Avoiding vulnerability
There’s this myth in society that vulnerability is a weakness. This is particularly true for men, who often feel the need to appear strong, stoic, and in control at all times.
However, avoiding vulnerability is a big mistake because it’s the key to meaningful connection. Or perhaps it’s better put by renowned researcher and author Brené Brown:
“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity.”
Why is that?
Because no one relates to “perfect.” We’re not perfect—not you, not me, not anyone.
When we let down our guard and share our struggles, fears, and imperfections, we invite others to do the same. That’s where real connection happens.
Without vulnerability, relationships can feel shallow and transactional. Embracing it, on the other hand, fosters trust, understanding, and the kind of closeness that keeps people from drifting apart.
2) Over-romanticizing the past
Oh, the “good old days,” right? It’s easy to get caught up in nostalgia, reminiscing about times when life seemed simpler, happier, or more exciting.
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But there’s a danger in over-romanticizing the past—it can blind us to the value of the present and the possibilities of the future.
When we idealize the past, we often compare it to an unrealistic standard, making today’s experiences feel dull or disappointing by comparison. This can create a sense of disconnection, as we unintentionally dismiss the people and moments around us now in favor of memories that may not even be as perfect as we remember.
The truth? The past wasn’t flawless—it just feels that way because we often forget the struggles and challenges that came with it.
By letting go of the “good old days” narrative and embracing the present for what it is, we open ourselves up to new memories and deeper connections with those around us.
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Life moves forward, and so should we.
3) Relying too much on technology
This one might come as a surprise.
Many people seem to think that using technology to stay in touch is enough to maintain meaningful relationships.
Spoiler: it’s not.
In fact, a study conducted during the pandemic found that older people who used tech for communication were actually more lonely than those who didn’t. Surprising, I know, but it highlights a key point: virtual interactions are no substitute for real-world connection.
While technology can be a fantastic tool for staying connected over long distances, it doesn’t provide the depth and intimacy that comes from face-to-face interactions. A hug, a shared meal, or even just being in the same room can create bonds that no amount of messaging can replicate.
Over-relying on technology can unintentionally lead to shallow relationships, where we might talk at people rather than truly engaging with them. To maintain close connections, it’s important to prioritize in-person time whenever possible.
Put the phone down, step away from the screen, and make time for the people in your life—you won’t regret it.
4) Focusing too much on being right
We all like to be right—it’s human nature.
But when being “right” becomes more important than being understanding or compassionate, it can push people away.
Whether it’s a heated debate, a casual disagreement, or even an unsolicited correction, the need to always prove a point can make others feel dismissed, invalidated, or even resentful. Over time, this behavior erodes trust and creates distance, as people may start to feel that conversations with you are more about winning than connecting.
Here’s the thing: relationships thrive on empathy, not ego. Sometimes, the best way to strengthen a bond isn’t by proving you’re right but by showing that you care.
Listening without interrupting, acknowledging another person’s perspective, or simply agreeing to disagree can go a long way in fostering mutual respect.
5) Holding onto grudges
This is a big one.
Holding onto grudges might feel justified in the moment, but over time, it only creates walls between you and the people you care about.
When we cling to resentment, we allow past hurts to linger, making it difficult to move forward and truly connect with others. They can foster bitterness, keep us stuck in negative emotions, and rob us of the joy that comes from healing and reconciliation.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing bad behavior—it’s about freeing yourself from the emotional burden and giving relationships a chance to grow again.
Letting go allows us to focus on the present, where connection and understanding can thrive.
6) Neglecting to express gratitude
Last but not least, one of the simplest ways to maintain strong relationships is also one of the most overlooked: expressing gratitude.
It’s easy to assume that the people in our lives know we appreciate them, but unspoken appreciation often goes unnoticed.
When we fail to acknowledge the kindness, support, or effort of others, they may start to feel taken for granted. Over time, this can create distance, as people naturally gravitate toward relationships where they feel valued and seen.
The good news? A little gratitude goes a long way.
A heartfelt “thank you,” a quick note of appreciation, or even just acknowledging someone’s presence and effort can deepen your bond. It doesn’t have to be elaborate—what matters most is sincerity.
Gratitude not only strengthens relationships but also fosters a sense of mutual respect and connection. And as an added bonus, studies show that practicing gratitude makes us happier, too.
Don’t wait for a special occasion to let people know how much they mean to you. Start today—because showing appreciation is one of the best ways to keep your relationships thriving.
Final words
As we get older, it’s easy to overlook how our own behaviors shape the quality of our relationships. But the truth is, staying connected with others requires self-awareness and intentional effort.
By letting go of these habits, we can strengthen our bonds and create deeper, more meaningful connections.
So, take a moment to reflect. Which of these behaviors might you work on today? Your future self—and your relationships—will thank you.
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