If you recognize these 7 subtle signs, you were probably overly criticized as a child

Have you ever found yourself doubting your every move, second-guessing even the smallest decisions, or feeling like you’re never quite good enough?

It’s a heavy burden to carry, isn’t it?

What many people don’t realize is that these feelings can often trace back to childhood experiences—specifically, a childhood filled with excessive criticism.

Today, we’re exploring seven subtle signs that might reveal you were overly criticized as a child.

These signs can be eye-opening, and recognizing them is the first step toward breaking free from their grip.

Let’s uncover them together.

1) You are hypercritical of yourself

Have you ever noticed how your inner critic is always on high alert?

This is a common trait among people who were highly criticized during childhood. They grow up internalizing the harsh criticism, resulting in a constant stream of self-doubt and self-criticism.

It’s like having a harsh parent inside your head, forever echoing the disapproval you felt as a child. It’s not about striving for self-improvement, but rather an ingrained belief that you’re never good enough, no matter how much you accomplish.

This constant self-criticism can be exhausting and damaging. 

But on the bright side, recognizing it as a symptom of your upbringing might be the first step towards taming your inner critic.

2) Seeking constant approval

This one hit close to home for me. 

Growing up, I remember constantly seeking approval from everyone around me. Whether it was my parents, teachers, or friends, I was always trying to please them.

The reason? I was overly criticized as a child. 

No matter what I did, it never seemed to be good enough. So, I started to believe that if I could just get everyone’s approval, it would mean I was doing something right.

Now as an adult, I realize this constant need for validation was a sign of the criticism I faced in my childhood. It took some healing, but now I understand that my worth isn’t determined by others’ opinions of me.

3) Difficulty accepting compliments

Do you find yourself brushing off compliments or feeling awkward when someone says something nice about you?

As odd as it might seem, this could be another sign of having been overly criticized as a child. 

Instead of enjoying praise, you might downplay it or even distrust the compliment entirely. Why? Because constant criticism during childhood often teaches you to focus on your flaws rather than your strengths.

It’s a phenomenon well acknowledged by experts, including psychologist Seth J. Gillihan, PhD, who mentioned it in one of his Psychology Today posts. 

Compliments can feel foreign or even uncomfortable because they conflict with the deeply ingrained belief that you’re “not good enough.”

Again, recognizing the source of this reaction can be the first step toward learning to embrace compliments and see yourself in a kinder light.

4) Fear of failure

Childhood is a time of exploration and learning, where making mistakes is a part of the process. But for those who were excessively criticized, mistakes were probably met with disapproval instead of understanding.

This can result in an intense fear of failure in adulthood. The thought of making a mistake or not meeting high expectations can cause stress and anxiety.

Are you always playing it safe or feeling paralyzed by the fear of failure? 

It might be stemming from your childhood. 

5) Perfectionism

This is one I know all too well. 

I’ve always been a stickler for detail. Even the smallest of errors would bother me to the point where I’d spend hours trying to make things perfect. It wasn’t until much later in life that I realized this relentless pursuit of perfection stemmed from my childhood.

This isn’t just my experience either; experts agree that perfectionism can be a result of overly critical parenting. 

Being overly criticized as a child had led me to believe that the only way to avoid criticism was by being perfect. This turned into an unhealthy habit of setting impossibly high standards for myself and being overly critical when I couldn’t meet them.

Perfectionism isn’t about striving for excellence, it’s about fearing criticism. If you find yourself constantly trying to be perfect, it might be a sign worth investigating. 

6) Difficulty expressing emotions

So, let’s say you’re feeling hurt or overwhelmed. You muster the courage to open up to a friend, but they immediately dismiss you—calling you “too sensitive” or brushing it off entirely.

Stings, right?

That sting is all too familiar for those who grew up with overly critical caregivers. 

Constant criticism in childhood often sends the message that emotions are “wrong” or “unacceptable.” As a result, you might have learned to suppress your feelings to avoid judgment or rejection.

Over time, this can lead to difficulty expressing emotions as an adult. You might struggle to find the words to communicate how you’re feeling, or worse, you might feel ashamed for even having those emotions in the first place.

This emotional suppression can create barriers in relationships and leave you feeling disconnected—not just from others, but from yourself. 

Recognizing this difficulty is a powerful step toward giving yourself permission to feel, share, and process emotions freely, without fear of criticism.

7) Low self-esteem

Perhaps the most significant sign that you were overly criticized as a child is probably low self-esteem.

 Constant criticism can make a child feel unworthy and inadequate, and doubt their capabilities.

As an adult, this can manifest as feelings of worthlessness, doubting your abilities, or thinking you don’t deserve happiness or success. Low self-esteem can affect every aspect of your life, from your relationships to your career.

It’s essential to remember that everyone is worthy of respect and love, including you.

Final thoughts: It’s about healing

Recognizing these signs in yourself can be challenging, but it’s also an incredibly hopeful step forward. Understanding how your childhood experiences shaped your thoughts and behaviors is the key to breaking free from their hold.

You don’t have to be defined by the criticism you faced as a child. With awareness and self-compassion, you can begin to rewrite those inner narratives, silence your inner critic, and heal the wounds of the past.

Remember, growth is always possible, no matter where you start. 

Be patient with yourself as you unlearn old patterns and replace them with healthier, more supportive ones. You’re deserving of kindness—from others and, most importantly, from yourself.