If someone uses these 7 phrases in a conversation, they lack self-confidence

Confidence isn’t always about how loud someone speaks or how boldly they present themselves. Often, it’s the subtle things—like the words they choose—that reveal their true level of self-assurance.

You see, language is more than just a tool for communication; it’s a window into how we see ourselves and our place in the world. And while everyone has moments of self-doubt, certain phrases can be telltale signs that someone struggles with confidence on a deeper level.

Curious to know what they are? Let’s explore seven phrases that reveal a lack of self-confidence and why they matter.

1) I guess…

Confidence is not just about what you say, but also how you say it. Self-assured individuals usually make statements with conviction. They might say “This is the way I see it” or “Here’s what I think.”

On the other hand, those who lack self-confidence often use phrases like “I guess” before they express their opinions. This phrase suggests uncertainty and hesitancy as if they’re not quite sure of what they’re saying.

If you catch yourself or others using this phrase frequently, it might be an indication of self-doubt. However, it’s important to note that everyone has moments of insecurity.

The key is to recognize these signs and work towards building self-confidence.

2) Sorry, but…

This is something I’ve struggled with in the past.

For instance, I used to preface my opinions or suggestions with an apology: “Sorry, but I think we should reconsider that plan,” or “Sorry, but could we try this approach instead?”

The problem with this?

Apologizing when it’s not necessary is another common sign of low self-confidence

This phrase, “Sorry, but…”, suggests that you feel you’re inconveniencing others merely by expressing your thoughts or ideas.

The underlying assumption here is that your views are less important or valuable. This often stems from a fear of rejection or a desire to avoid conflict.

I realized over time that it’s crucial to stand by your ideas without constantly apologizing. Everyone has a right to express their thoughts and opinions confidently.

So, if you notice someone frequently saying “Sorry, but…”, they might be battling with low self-esteem.

3) Just…

The word “just” seems harmless, but when used excessively, it can reveal a lack of self-confidence.

You see, this diminutive word often precedes statements as a way to soften them, or to make them seem less significant. For example, “I just think we could try a different approach,” or “I just wanted to ask if you’ve completed the report.”

While it may sound polite or unassuming, overusing “just” can inadvertently undermine the speaker’s authority and make their statements appear less assertive. It suggests that the person is hesitant to take up space or assert their needs, almost as if they’re apologizing for speaking up.

Confident communicators tend to eliminate “just” from their language, opting for stronger, more direct phrasing like, “I think we could try a different approach” or “Have you completed the report?”

These subtle shifts in wording can significantly enhance the perception of self-assurance and clarity.

4) I’m no expert, but…

This phrase is a classic example of a self-deprecating qualifier. It’s often used by individuals who lack self-confidence as a way to shield themselves from potential criticism or judgment.

“I’m no expert, but…” is typically followed by a perfectly valid idea or suggestion. However, by leading with this phrase, the speaker is already undermining their own credibility and input.

Even if you’re not an expert on a particular topic, that doesn’t mean your thoughts or ideas are not valuable. Everyone has unique perspectives and experiences that can contribute to a conversation or situation.

5) I don’t know why anyone would listen to me…

So this one is less common but hearing someone say, “I don’t know why anyone would listen to me…” can be truly heartbreaking. This phrase screams of self-doubt and a deep-seated belief that one’s opinions or ideas are not worthy of being heard.

People who lack self-confidence often struggle with the feeling that they are not good enough or that their contributions don’t matter. And this phrase is a clear reflection of those internal struggles.

It’s important for us all to remember that each person has a unique perspective and experiences that can add value to a conversation or situation. Everyone’s thoughts and views are deserving of respect and consideration.

If you hear this phrase, it might be an opportunity to reassure the speaker that their voice is important. And if you are the one using it, know this: you are worthy, your thoughts matter, and people do want to hear what you have to say.

6) I can’t do this…

This is a phrase I’ve muttered to myself more times than I’d like to admit. It often escapes our lips in moments of frustration, fear, or overwhelm, and it’s a clear reflection of self-doubt creeping in.

Whether it’s tackling a new project at work or navigating a challenging personal situation, saying “I can’t do this…” only serves to reinforce the belief that you’re incapable or inadequate.

As Henry Ford famously said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t—you’re right.” Your mindset plays a powerful role in shaping your reality.

Confidence is built through action. Each time you face your fears or overcome obstacles, you prove to yourself that you’re stronger and more capable than you initially believed.

By changing your internal dialogue, you can shift from self-doubt to self-empowerment.

7) It’s probably stupid, but…

Last but not least, when someone starts a sentence with “It’s probably stupid, but…”, it’s a clear sign that they’re doubting the worth of their ideas.

This phrase is a way of guarding against potential criticism or rejection. However, it also serves to undermine the speaker’s own credibility and devalue their input.

Everyone’s thoughts and ideas have value, and no one should feel the need to preface their opinions with an apology.

Final thoughts

Language is a powerful tool—not just for how we communicate with others, but for how we speak to ourselves.

The phrases we use can either build us up or tear us down, shaping the way we view our own abilities and worth.

Recognizing these subtle signs of self-doubt is the first step toward changing the narrative. Confidence doesn’t come from never feeling insecure—it comes from choosing to challenge those insecurities and reframe the way we express ourselves.

So, the next time you catch yourself using one of these phrases, pause. Reassess. Replace it with something stronger, more self-assured.

You might just be surprised by how much your words can transform not only how others perceive you but also how you perceive yourself!