Women who frequently fall for low quality men often display these 8 traits

It’s true, not all romantic interests are created equal.

Sometimes, despite our best intentions, we tend to go for the guys that just aren’t the best for us.

The often boils down to patterns. Falling for low quality men is often a result of certain behaviours or traits that we might not even be aware of.

Understanding these patterns can help us make better choices and avoid the heartaches that come with dating the wrong people.

In this article, we’ll explore 8 traits that women who frequently fall for low quality men often display. These aren’t set in stone, but they can certainly provide some valuable insights into our romantic choices.

1) Unresolved childhood issues

Childhood experiences hold immense power over our adult lives, and that includes our romantic choices.

Often, women who consistently choose low quality men are grappling with unresolved issues from their past. These issues can range from neglectful parents to abusive relationships.

These experiences can lead to a skewed understanding of what love and relationships should look like. For some, they may even believe they don’t deserve better, leading them to settle for less.

Recognizing and working through these unresolved childhood issues is the first step towards breaking this cycle. It’s not easy, but it’s a crucial part of choosing healthier relationships.

But remember, it’s important to seek professional help if you’re dealing with deep-seated trauma. Self-awareness is key, but so is getting the right support.

2) Low self-esteem

Believe me, I’ve been there. There was a time in my life when I had such low self-esteem that it affected every aspect of my life, including my relationships.

I used to think that I was not worthy of a good, loving, and respectful partner. I would invariably end up with men who treated me poorly, and I accepted it because, deep down, I believed that’s all I deserved.

It took a long series of disappointments and a lot of personal growth to realize that my low self-esteem was guiding my choices. By working on loving myself more and understanding my worth, I was eventually able to break free from the cycle of falling for low quality men.

It’s a hard truth to face, but if you find yourself constantly attracted to the wrong type of men, it might be time to look at your self-esteem. Realizing your worth can change the way you approach relationships for the better.

3) Fear of being alone

It’s part of human nature to crave companionship. We’re social creatures, after all. But when this fear of being alone becomes so intense that it pushes us into the arms of the wrong person, that’s when it becomes a problem.

Studies have found that people who fear being alone are more likely to stay in unfulfilling relationships. And in some cases, they may even overlook clear red flags, just to avoid the prospect of being single.

Overcoming this fear isn’t easy, but it’s essential for finding healthy, fulfilling relationships. It’s important to find happiness in your own company before you can truly be happy with someone else.

4) Misunderstanding love

Love is a complex emotion, often misunderstood and misrepresented. Some women may equate intense feelings, drama, or even conflict with passion and love. This misunderstanding can lead them into the arms of men who provide these intense emotional experiences, but are not necessarily good partners.

If your idea of love involves constant arguing followed by intense make-up sessions, it might be time to reassess your understanding of love. Healthy love is stable, respectful, and peaceful. It may not come with the highs and lows of a tumultuous relationship, but it provides a deeper, more satisfying emotional connection.

5) The savior complex

There’s something deeply human about wanting to help others, to fix their problems, and to be their source of happiness. But when this desire turns into a pattern of choosing partners who need ‘saving’, it can lead to unhealthy and unbalanced relationships.

These women often fall for men with evident flaws or issues, believing they can change them with their love and support. Unfortunately, this rarely works out as anticipated.

It’s important to remember that you can’t fix someone who doesn’t want to be fixed. Love isn’t about changing someone; it’s about accepting them as they are. And everyone, including you, deserves a partner who can stand on their own two feet.

6) Ignoring red flags

I remember being in a relationship where the red flags were so obvious, they might as well have been billboards. Yet I chose to ignore them, hoping things would somehow magically get better. Spoiler alert: they didn’t.

Ignoring red flags is a common trait among women who consistently fall for low quality men. They may rationalize or dismiss these warning signs, hoping that love will conquer all. But more often than not, these red flags are indicative of deeper issues that can’t be resolved simply by love.

Being aware of and paying attention to these red flags is crucial in avoiding relationships with the wrong people. It’s okay to trust your instincts and walk away when something doesn’t feel right.

7) Lack of boundaries

Setting healthy boundaries is a fundamental aspect of any relationship. However, some women struggle with this, either because they fear the conflict that might arise from it, or they worry about coming across as too demanding.

Without clear boundaries, you might find yourself tolerating behavior that you’re not comfortable with, or constantly giving in to your partner’s needs while neglecting your own.

Establishing and maintaining boundaries not only ensures your own well-being and happiness in a relationship but also helps you avoid falling for men who don’t respect or value you as they should. It’s essential to communicate your limits clearly and stand by them.

8) Not knowing their worth

If there’s one thing that all women need to know, it’s this: You are worthy. You are worthy of respect, love, and a partner who values you. You are worthy of a relationship that brings you joy, not pain.

Many women who consistently fall for low quality men don’t fully understand their worth. They settle for less because they don’t believe they deserve more.

Knowing your worth isn’t about arrogance or entitlement; it’s about recognizing and respecting your own value as a person. And once you truly believe in your worth, you’ll be less likely to settle for anything less in your relationships.

Final thoughts: It’s about self-discovery

Understanding why we make the choices we do, especially when it comes to our relationships, is an intricate journey of self-discovery. It’s about delving deep into our past experiences, our fears, and our understanding of love.

The traits we’ve discussed here are not a condemnation, but a starting point for introspection. They shine a light on patterns that can be changed and behaviors that can be modified.

Psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” Acceptance is the first step towards change.

If you see yourself in these traits, recognize that it’s within your power to break these patterns. With self-awareness, patience, and professional help if needed, it’s entirely possible to shift your preferences and start choosing healthier relationships.

Remember, it’s your journey and every step forward, no matter how small, is a victory. Love begins with loving yourself and recognizing your worth. You deserve nothing less.

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Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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