8 subtle signs you’re walking on egg shells around someone (without even realizing it)

Navigating the world of relationships is like walking through a minefield blindfolded. You’re trying to make your way, but you’re constantly afraid of setting off an explosion.

Sometimes, that’s what it feels like when you’re interacting with a particular person in your life. It’s not always clear-cut, and it’s not always easy to spot.

You might not even know that you’re doing it: walking on eggshells, constantly on edge, afraid to say or do the wrong thing. But there are signs, subtle ones that can help you recognize this pattern.

Let’s dive into those little indications that you’re tiptoeing around someone, even if you haven’t realized it yet.

1) You’re constantly self-censoring

It’s like there’s a little editor in your head, always on alert. Every word that comes out of your mouth goes through a rigorous checking process before you let it out.

You’re always thinking twice, three times, maybe even four times before you say anything. This isn’t about being careful or thoughtful, this is about fear.

Fear of how they might react, fear of saying the wrong thing, fear of causing an upset. That’s not normal and it’s definitely not healthy.

The minute you realize you’re self-censoring more often than not, it’s a clear sign that you’re walking on eggshells around this person.

2) Every conversation feels like an interrogation

I remember a time when I’d meet up with a friend for coffee. Instead of relaxing and enjoying our chats, I always felt like I was being grilled.

Every question felt like it was loaded with potential traps. It was as if I was being pushed into a corner, constantly having to defend my choices and actions. I would leave those coffee dates feeling drained and stressed, rather than refreshed and uplifted.

Instead of feeling supported and understood, I felt attacked and judged. That’s another key sign that you’re treading carefully around someone: when every conversation feels more like an interrogation than a friendly chat.

3) You’re always on the defensive

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

But what if you’re always feeling the need to defend yourself, your actions, or your choices around someone? That’s a big red flag indicating that you’re walking on eggshells.

I’ve found myself in positions where I felt the need to constantly justify my preferences, my decisions, and even my feelings. Instead of feeling free to be myself, I felt like I was constantly under scrutiny, always needing to prove my worth.

That’s not how healthy relationships should feel. When you’re always on guard, always defending yourself, it’s a telltale sign that something’s not right.

4) Your stress levels are through the roof

Did you know that chronic stress can lead to serious health problems like heart disease, high blood pressure, and diabetes?

That’s something I didn’t really think about until I noticed how much my stress levels would spike around this one person. I’d get headaches, my heart would race, and I’d feel jittery and anxious.

It wasn’t just the normal stress of everyday life, it was a specific kind of stress that only came when I had to interact with them. When you notice that your stress levels are consistently higher around a particular person, that’s a sign.

It’s not just about your mental and emotional health, it’s about your physical health too. And that’s definitely a sign you’re walking on eggshells.

5) You’re always apologizing

I found myself saying “I’m sorry” more often than I said anything else. It wasn’t that I was making more mistakes or doing anything wrong.

It was like I was apologizing for existing, for having thoughts and feelings, for not being what this person wanted me to be.

Apologizing when you’ve done something wrong is one thing, but when you find yourself saying sorry for everything, even things that aren’t your fault or aren’t even a problem, that’s a sign.

Feeling like you’re always in the wrong, and always needing to apologize is a clear indication that you’re walking on eggshells around this person.

6) You’re constantly seeking their approval

I started noticing a pattern. Every time I said something or made a decision, I was looking for their nod of approval.

It wasn’t about being considerate or respectful. It had more to do with fear. Fear of their disapproval, fear of their disappointment, fear of their anger.

I was constantly trying to please them, to meet their expectations, to avoid any form of conflict or disagreement.

When you’re constantly seeking someone’s approval, when your self-worth becomes tied to their opinion of you, that’s a sign.

It’s a sign that you’re walking on eggshells around them, always trying to keep them happy at the expense of your own happiness and well-being.

7) You’re avoiding confrontation at all costs

I’d find myself avoiding any topic that could potentially cause a disagreement or an argument. I’d sidestep, I’d change the subject, I’d agree with things I didn’t really agree with.

It was all about keeping the peace, about avoiding any form of conflict. But the cost was high. It was my authenticity, my voice, my ability to stand up for what I believed in.

When you’re avoiding confrontation like it’s the plague, when you’re sacrificing your own thoughts and opinions just to avoid a potential argument, that’s a sign.

It’s another clear indication that you’re walking on eggshells around this person.

8) You’re losing your sense of self

This was the big one for me.

I started to realize that I was losing myself, bit by bit, in an attempt to navigate this relationship. My interests, my personality, my dreams, and my aspirations – were all taking a backseat.

I was changing myself, molding myself into someone I wasn’t, just to fit into their world. That’s the biggest sign of all: when you’re losing your sense of self, your individuality, your essence.

When you start becoming a version of yourself that you don’t recognize anymore, that’s not just walking on eggshells – that’s losing yourself in the process.

The takeaway

If you’ve resonated with these signs, know you’re not alone. It’s a common experience to find oneself walking on eggshells around someone.

But here’s the silver lining – it doesn’t have to be this way.

Start by reflecting on these signs in your own interactions. Notice when you’re self-censoring or constantly seeking approval. Be aware when you’re avoiding confrontation, or losing your sense of self.

Once you recognize these patterns, it’s easier to hit the pause button.

Ask yourself – Am I being true to myself? Does this interaction align with my values? Does expressing my true feelings honor my authentic self?

Change doesn’t happen instantly; it’s a gradual process.

With mindfulness, you can reframe your behavioral responses. Every small step towards prioritizing your needs or expressing your truth builds self-trust and self-esteem.

Nurturing self-respect and setting boundaries allows us to engage with others in a healthier, more balanced way.

Be patient with yourself on this journey.

Celebrate progress, not perfection. Seek support when needed. You’ll soon find the most genuine version of yourself – one that interacts with others without losing sight of personal well-being.

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Picture of Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase, a New York City native, writes about the complexities of modern life and relationships. Her articles draw from her experiences navigating the vibrant and diverse social landscape of the city. Isabella’s insights are about finding harmony in the chaos and building strong, authentic connections in a fast-paced world.

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