If you want people to stay in touch with you as you get older, say goodbye to these 7 behaviors

Maintaining relationships as we age is not always an easy task. It often requires adjustments to our behaviors and attitudes.

As we grow older, certain behaviors that were once acceptable or overlooked can become obstacles in keeping those valuable connections alive.

But here’s the thing – you have the power to change this. By saying goodbye to these seven behaviors, you can encourage people to stay in touch and foster stronger relationships.

In this piece, we’ll be exploring these behaviors and providing you with practical tips to help keep your social connections strong as you age.

1) Being resistant to change

Life is all about change, and as we age, those changes can feel more significant and harder to adjust to.

But here’s the kicker – people are drawn to those who can adapt and grow, no matter their age. If you’re stuck in your ways and unwilling to embrace change, it can push people away.

Being open to new experiences, ideas, and ways of doing things isn’t just good for your personal growth – it’s also key to maintaining strong relationships.

So if you want to ensure people stick around as you get older, it’s time to let go of that resistance to change. Embrace new possibilities with an open mind and see how it transforms your relationships.

Remember, change isn’t always a bad thing. It’s often just a new opportunity in disguise. So don’t shy away, embrace it!

2) Negativity

As we age, it’s easy to fall into the trap of negativity. The aches and pains, the loss of friends, the changes in society–it can be overwhelming.

But here’s my personal experience. I had an aunt who seemed to only see the negative side of things. Every conversation was about her health problems, the rude cashier at the grocery store, or how her favorite TV show was canceled. Over time, people started avoiding her because her negativity was so draining.

On the other hand, my grandfather was always positive and uplifting. Despite facing many of the same challenges as my aunt, he chose to focus on the good things in life – his garden, his grandchildren, and his love for painting. And you know what? Everyone loved being around him.

It was a clear lesson to me: constant negativity pushes people away while positivity attracts them.

So if you want people to stay in touch as you get older, try to focus on the positive things in life and share that positivity with others.

3) Living in the past or future, but not the present

Let’s be honest. We all have a tendency to dwell on past mistakes or worry about future uncertainties. But this isn’t just harmful to our mental health – it can also affect our relationships.

When we’re not fully present, we’re not really engaging with the people around us. This can make them feel unimportant and ignored, which is not conducive to maintaining strong relationships as we age.

This is where mindfulness comes in.

Mindfulness is about being fully aware and present in each moment. It’s about appreciating what we have right now, instead of constantly longing for what was or what could be.

In my book, “The Art of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Living in the Moment”, I discuss the importance of mindfulness in-depth, offering practical tips and exercises to help you cultivate this essential skill.

By practicing mindfulness, you can better engage with the people around you, enhancing your interactions and strengthening your relationships.

So if you’re serious about keeping people in your life as you age, say goodbye to living solely in the past or future and start embracing the power of the present moment.

4) Failing to listen

It’s easy to monopolize a conversation, especially when we feel passionate about a topic. But relationships are about give and take.

There was a time when I would get so caught up in my own stories and ideas that I’d forget to actually listen to what the other person was saying. It wasn’t intentional, but it sent the message that I valued my own voice more than theirs.

Over time, I realized that this was damaging my relationships. So, I made a conscious effort to become a better listener.

Now, I make sure to give others the space to express their thoughts and feelings. I strive to be fully present in conversations, showing genuine interest in what they have to say. And you know what? My relationships have never been stronger.

Listening is an act of respect and love. If you want people to remain in your life as you get older, become an active listener. Show them that their words matter. It can make all the difference.

5) Always being the peacemaker

Now, this may come as a surprise. Generally, being a peacemaker is seen as a good thing, right? But here’s the catch – always playing the peacemaker can sometimes hinder your relationships.

Yes, avoiding conflict can keep things smooth in the short term. But long term? It can lead to unresolved issues, resentment, and strained relationships.

That’s not to say you should go looking for fights. However, healthy disagreement is a natural part of any relationship. It allows for growth, understanding, and ultimately, stronger bonds.

So, if you want to maintain healthy relationships as you get older, don’t shy away from disagreements. Face them head-on with respect and understanding. It’s not about winning or losing, but about learning and growing together.

6) Expecting others to reach out first

As we get older, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that others should make the first move to stay in touch. But here’s the truth – relationships are a two-way street.

If you’re always waiting for others to call, text, or visit, you might end up feeling neglected and isolated. And more often than not, this isn’t because people don’t care. They’re just caught up in their own lives, just like you.

So, take the initiative. Reach out to your friends and family. Ask them how they’re doing, invite them for a catch-up, or simply send a message letting them know you’re thinking of them.

By taking the first step, you’re showing that you value the relationship and are willing to put in the effort to maintain it. And trust me, people will appreciate it.

So if you want people to stay in touch as you get older, say goodbye to waiting and take the lead. It’ll make a world of difference.

7) Not showing gratitude

Gratitude is the cornerstone of any strong relationship. We all want to feel appreciated and valued, and showing gratitude is one of the simplest and most powerful ways to convey this.

Expressing gratitude doesn’t have to be grand or complicated. A simple “thank you” or “I appreciate you” can go a long way in strengthening your relationships.

Gratitude fosters positivity, builds trust, and encourages stronger bonds. If you want people to stay in touch as you get older, make sure you’re expressing your appreciation for their presence and contribution to your life.

The power of conscious change

At the end of the day, maintaining relationships as we age hinges on our willingness to adapt and grow. It’s about recognizing the behaviors that may be pushing people away, and consciously choosing a different path.

These 7 behaviors we’ve mentioned often come naturally to us, but they don’t have to define our relationships. We have the power to change this story.

In my book, “The Art of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Living in the Moment”, I discuss how being present and mindful can help us make these conscious changes in our lives and our relationships.

As you move forward, remember this: Change is possible. And often, it’s necessary.

It’s okay to let go of behaviors that no longer serve us. The people we care about are worth it. And more importantly, we owe it to ourselves to live a life filled with meaningful connections.

So take a moment to reflect and ask yourself: Are there behaviors you need to let go of? And how will you start making these changes today?