If someone constantly looks at their phone while you’re talking, they likely have these 8 traits

It’s a common situation that we’ve all found ourselves in:

You’re in the middle of a conversation, pouring your heart out or sharing an important piece of news, and the person you’re talking to can’t seem to tear their eyes away from their phone.

You’ve tried subtly hinting, you’ve even tried blatantly stating how rude it is, but it’s like they’re in a digital trance.

Sometimes, it’s not even that overt.

Just a flicker of their gaze towards their screen every few minutes, a telltale glow illuminating their face.

It’s enough to make you question whether you’re being too sensitive or if indeed something else is at play here.

Well, I’m here to delve into this modern-day conundrum and offer some insights.

Let’s explore the eight traits someone might have if they constantly look at their phone while you’re talking.

1. They are multitaskers

We live in a world where everyone is juggling multiple things at once.

For some people, their ability to multitask extends even to their social interactions.

Maybe they’re trying to squeeze in a quick email while chatting, or maybe they’re checking up on a business update that can’t wait.

It’s not always about not valuing your conversation, sometimes it’s just about them trying to keep up with the fast-paced world we live in.

While it’s not an excuse for constant distraction, understanding this trait can help us approach the situation with more empathy and understanding.

2. They’re dealing with stress or anxiety

It’s no secret that our phones can act as a safety blanket of sorts.

For some people, turning to their phone is a way to deal with feelings of stress or anxiety.

It’s like a subconscious coping mechanism that helps them navigate uncomfortable situations or conversations.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve found myself reaching for my phone during a difficult conversation, not because I’m disinterested, but because it gives me a moment to gather my thoughts.

I remember this one instance when I was having a heated discussion with a business partner. The stakes were high and the pressure was on, so I found myself glancing at my phone more often than I would like to admit.

In that moment, my phone was my anxiety relief valve, giving me mini breaks from the tension-filled conversation.

3. They’re habitual tech users

As Albert Einstein once said, “It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.”

Well, it seems some people stay with their phones longer than most.

This constant checking and rechecking of phones has become a habit for many, much like how some people subconsciously twirl their hair or tap their foot when they’re idle.

It doesn’t mean they’re not listening or that they don’t care about what you’re saying. This compulsive behavior is more about them and their relationship with technology than it is about you and your conversation.

Let’s be honest, how many times have we found ourselves aimlessly scrolling through our phones without even realizing we’re doing it? It’s almost like a reflex, especially in this digital age where our phones are almost an extension of ourselves.

4. They might have Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)

Believe it or not, there’s a term for the fear of not being up-to-date with what’s happening on social media or in the digital world: FOMO.

This fear can be so overwhelming that people feel compelled to check their phones constantly, even when they’re in a face-to-face conversation.

It’s like a digital hunger that never seems to be satiated—there’s always another post to see, another update to check, another email to read.

And it’s not just an excuse to be on their phone. Studies have shown that FOMO is a real phenomenon that affects a significant percentage of the population, particularly among younger generations.

5. They’re wired for constant stimulation

In the era of smartphones and social media, our brains are being rewired for constant stimulation.

Every ping, buzz, or notification triggers a dopamine rush, a feel-good hormone that keeps us coming back for more. It’s why we can’t resist checking our phone every few minutes—it’s almost like a mini reward system.

For some people, this need for constant stimulation extends to their conversations. They might find it difficult to focus on one thing at a time, so they resort to their phone for that additional stimulation.

It’s not meant to be an insult to you or your conversation. It’s just how their brain has adapted in this digital age.

6. They may be avoiding confrontation

Nobody enjoys uncomfortable conversations. For some, the phone acts as a perfect shield to avoid confrontation or difficult discussions.

It’s not that they’re trying to be rude or dismissive – it’s more about self-preservation. By looking at their phone, they’re creating a barrier between themselves and the uncomfortable situation.

I’ve seen it in meetings where a contentious point comes up, and suddenly people are engrossed in their screens. It’s an escape route that’s conveniently at their fingertips.

7. They’re trying to stay connected

In the digital age, staying connected means more than just face-to-face interactions. It extends to the online world as well.

For some people, their phone is their lifeline to the rest of the world. It’s how they stay updated, it’s how they communicate, it’s how they work.

So when they’re constantly looking at their phone while you’re talking, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re not interested in what you’re saying. It might just be their way of staying connected with everything else that’s going on.

Sure, it can be frustrating when you’re trying to have a conversation and they can’t take their eyes off their screen. But understanding this aspect can help you see the situation from a different perspective.

8. They’re not aware of their behavior

Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, some people just aren’t aware of how often they’re looking at their phone.

It’s become such a normal part of our daily lives that it’s easy to overlook how much time we’re actually spending on our devices.

I’ve had friends who were genuinely surprised when I pointed out how frequently they checked their phone during our conversations. It wasn’t a conscious decision on their part – more like an automatic response they weren’t even aware of.

If someone is constantly looking at their phone while you’re talking, it might be that they simply haven’t realized the extent of their behavior.

Bringing it to their attention, in a gentle and non-confrontational way, can be the first step towards changing the dynamic of your conversations.

After all, awareness is the first step towards change.

Final thoughts

These eight traits are not meant to excuse the behavior, but to offer insight into why it happens and how it impacts our communication. At its core, this is an issue of balance – finding that sweet spot between staying digitally connected and maintaining meaningful face-to-face interactions.

Awareness is key. If you recognize these traits in someone you know, or even in yourself, it’s the first step towards improving communication. A gentle conversation could be the catalyst for change, for both you and the person on the other end of the phone.

So next time you find yourself in a conversation with a constant phone-checker, take a moment to understand, rather than judge. You might just find that understanding leads to better conversations and stronger connections.

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Picture of Ethan Sterling

Ethan Sterling

Ethan Sterling has a background in entrepreneurship, having started and managed several small businesses. His journey through the ups and downs of entrepreneurship provides him with practical insights into personal resilience, strategic thinking, and the value of persistence. Ethan’s articles offer real-world advice for those looking to grow personally and professionally.

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