If you want to strengthen your bond with your children as they grow up, stop doing these 8 things

Raising kids, let me tell you, isn’t always a walk in the park.

You adore them, absolutely do, but sometimes you feel like you’re doing more harm than good.

You’ve read all the parenting books, attended seminars, listened to podcasts, and yet there’s still that nagging feeling of uncertainty.

Often times, it’s not even about the big stuff.

It’s the little things that make you wonder if you’re helping or hindering their growth.

Well, I’m here to give you the lowdown on what might be damaging your bond with your kiddos.

Here are 8 things you need to stop doing if you want to strengthen your relationship with your children as they grow up. Trust me, it’s easier than you think.

1) You’re not really listening

Parenting, believe it or not, is more than just talking.

You spill all those life lessons, shower them with advice, and sometimes, all that noise just fades into the background.

You see, children want to be heard, truly heard.

It’s not just about the words coming out of their mouths. It’s about their feelings, their fears, their dreams, and their hopes.

If you find yourself interrupting them or brushing off their concerns without a second thought, it might be time to reassess.

Listening to your children isn’t just about hearing their words. It’s about understanding their emotions too.

Being a good listener can make a world of difference in your relationship with your children. It shows them that you value their thoughts and feelings as much as your own.

Next time your child wants to share something with you, don’t just hear, listen. It might be the most important conversation you’ll have all day.

2) You’re dismissing their feelings

I’ll never forget the day my son came home from school, tears streaming down his face.

He’d been left out of a game at recess, and to him, it felt like the end of the world.

I could have dismissed it. I could have said, “It’s just a game,” or “You’ll get over it.”

But I didn’t. Because to him, it wasn’t “just a game.” It was his world.

Sometimes as parents, we tend to downplay our children’s feelings. We think we’re toughening them up for the real world.

But what we’re really doing is teaching them that their feelings don’t matter.

Your child’s feelings are valid, no matter how trivial they may seem to you.

By acknowledging their emotions and validating their feelings, you show them that they are important and that their feelings matter.

And believe me, that can make all the difference in your relationship with your children.

3) You’re not being their safe haven

Maya Angelou once said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

To your kids, you’re more than just a parent. You’re their world, their safe haven.

When they’re scared, they run to you. When they’re hurt, they seek your comfort. But what happens when you’re not there for them?

You might think you’re teaching them independence. But in reality, you might be teaching them that they can’t count on you.

Being there for your children doesn’t mean coddling them. It means being their rock, their safe place to land when things go wrong.

Be the person who they know will always be there for them, no matter what.

Because at the end of the day, it’s not about what you say or do. It’s about how you make them feel.

4) You’re not letting them fail

Did you know that Albert Einstein, one of the greatest minds in history, once said, “Failure is success in progress”?

As parents, it’s only natural to want to protect our children from failure. But what if I told you that by doing so, we might be hindering their growth?

Failure is a part of life. It’s how we learn, how we grow, and how we become better.

When we swoop in to save our children from every little failure, we rob them of the opportunity to learn from their mistakes.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s hard to watch your child struggle. But sometimes, the best thing you can do for them is to let them fail.

The next time your child faces a challenge, resist the urge to step in. Let them figure it out on their own. You might be surprised by what they can do.

5) You’re not letting them express themselves

One of the greatest gifts you can give your child is the freedom to be themselves.

Remember when your little one first discovered their favorite color, or the way they lit up when they played a song on the piano for the first time?

Those were moments of self-discovery, moments when they started to understand who they are.

But sometimes, as parents, we unintentionally stifle that expression. We might push them towards activities we think are beneficial or steer them away from hobbies we find unproductive.

This doesn’t mean you should let them run wild. But it’s important to allow them the space to explore their interests and passions, even if they don’t align with your own.

By doing this, you’re showing your child that their individuality is valued and encouraged. And that can make a world of difference in strengthening your bond with them.

6) You’re not leading by example

Kids are like sponges, soaking up everything around them. They watch us closely and often mimic our behaviors, our actions, and even our attitudes.

But here’s the catch. If we’re constantly stressed, always complaining, or frequently losing our temper, then that’s the behavior we’re modeling for our children.

We can’t tell them to be patient if we’re always in a rush. We can’t expect them to be positive if we’re always negative.

This isn’t to say that we need to be perfect. Far from it. But it’s important to remember that our actions speak louder than our words.

By striving to be the best version of ourselves, we not only improve our own lives but also provide a positive example for our children to follow.

And that’s a surefire way to strengthen the bond with them as they grow up.

7) You’re not making time for them

In the hustle and bustle of daily life, it’s easy to let our schedules get the best of us.

Work, errands, chores… before we know it, the day’s over and we’re left wondering where the time went.

But here’s a reality check. No matter how busy you are, there’s always time for what’s important. And nothing is more important than your relationship with your children.

It doesn’t have to be grand gestures or elaborate outings. It can be as simple as reading a book together before bedtime or having a chat over dinner.

By making time for your children, you’re telling them that they are a priority in your life.

Trust me, they’ll remember these moments more than any toy or gadget you could buy them. Because at the end of the day, it’s your time and attention that they truly crave.

8) You’re not showing them unconditional love

At the end of the day, all the advice in the world doesn’t hold a candle to one simple truth: children need to feel loved.

Not just when they ace that math test, not just when they score the winning goal, but every single day, through thick and thin.

Unconditional love doesn’t mean giving in to their every whim or spoiling them rotten. It means loving them for who they are, not what they do.

It means reassuring them that no mistake is too big, no failure too grand to ever change the love you have for them.

By showing your children unconditional love, you give them the confidence to grow and explore, knowing they have a safe place to return to, no matter what.

And that’s the kind of bond that not only strengthens your relationship with them as they grow up but also sets the foundation for their future relationships.

Final thoughts

If some of these points hit a little too close to home, don’t be disheartened. Parenting isn’t an exact science and we’re all learning as we go along.

The beauty is, you have the power to make changes, starting right now.

Mindfulness is key. Catch yourself in those moments when you’re not really listening or dismissing their feelings. Reflect on times when you’ve prioritized your agenda over their self-expression.

Start small. Let them fail at something minor. Listen attentively to their story about school. Validate their feelings, no matter how trivial they seem to you.

Each little change can make a big difference in the eyes of your child. It lets them know that they are seen, heard and loved unconditionally.

Slowly but surely, you’ll see your bond with your child strengthen. Remember, in their eyes, you are already the best parent in the world.

Now it’s time for you to believe it too.