As we age, one of life’s most rewarding experiences is feeling genuinely appreciated by those around us.
Whether it’s our family, friends, colleagues, or even casual acquaintances, being valued and respected brings a sense of connection and fulfillment.
But here’s the catch: earning appreciation isn’t just about what we do—it’s also about what we stop doing. Certain habits and behaviors, though seemingly harmless, can subtly push people away or make us harder to connect with over time.
The good news? Letting go of these tendencies can open the door to deeper relationships and a greater sense of mutual respect.
With that in mind, we explore 7 behaviors that might be worth saying goodbye to.
1) Constant complaining
As we get older, we all face challenges and difficulties. It’s a part of life. But how we react to these challenges can greatly influence how others see us.
Complaining not only puts you in a negative light, but it also drags the mood down of those around you. Instead of being seen as a source of positivity and wisdom, you become associated with negativity and pessimism.
While it’s okay to vent occasionally, doing it constantly can lead people to avoid you. They might associate you with stress and negativity rather than understanding and support.
The next time you’re faced with a challenge, try to approach it with a more positive outlook. You’ll be surprised at how much more appreciated you’ll be for your resilience and positive attitude.
2) Being judgmental
Growing older has taught me a lot, including the importance of empathy. I’ve realized that being judgmental can be a huge barrier to forming meaningful connections.
There was a time when I would quickly form opinions about people based on their actions or words. But as I’ve grown older, I’ve learned that everyone has their own stories and struggles.
I remember once, I was quick to judge a friend who seemed aloof and distant. It was easy to label her as uncaring and dismissive. But then I learned that she was going through a tough time with her health, which made her act out of character.
That experience made me realize how being judgmental can blind us to the realities of others. It’s essential to keep an open mind and refrain from passing judgments hastily. Your empathy and understanding will make you a much more appreciated companion as you age.
3) Neglecting self-improvement
Just because you’re getting older doesn’t mean you should stop striving to be a better version of yourself. On the contrary, continuous self-improvement can lead to increased respect and admiration from those around you.
Whether it’s learning a new hobby, improving your communication skills, or embracing a healthier lifestyle, taking steps toward self-improvement can significantly impact how others perceive you.
It shows that you value growth and are not resistant to change – qualities that are highly admired no matter your age.
4) Holding onto grudges
One of the most liberating feelings in life is letting go of old resentments. Holding onto grudges as you age not only weighs your heart down but also keeps you from forging deeper connections with others.
People appreciate those who have the capacity to forgive and move on. It shows strength, maturity, and a deep understanding of human imperfection. We all make mistakes, and we all have the capacity to change and grow.
If there’s an old grudge that’s been eating away at you, consider letting it go. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or allowing yourself to be hurt again. It means releasing the anger and resentment that hold you back.
By doing so, you’ll not only find peace within yourself but also earn the respect and admiration of those around you.
5) Avoiding apologies
Once, I made a mistake that hurt a close friend. My first instinct was to justify my actions, driven by pride and fear of admitting I was wrong. But as time went on, I realized the strain this put on our relationship.
Apologizing is never easy. It requires swallowing your pride and admitting your mistakes. But it’s also a powerful gesture of humility and respect towards the person you’ve hurt.
When you apologize sincerely, you acknowledge that you value the relationship more than your ego. This act of humility not only mends relationships but also earns you the respect and appreciation of others.
Don’t shy away from saying “I’m sorry”. It shows your maturity and willingness to make things right.
6) Overstepping boundaries
This is a huge one.
As we age, it’s crucial to recognize that not everyone will think, act, or feel the same way we do. And that’s perfectly okay.
Overstepping someone’s boundaries, whether physically, emotionally or mentally, can lead to discomfort and mistrust.
To be appreciated as you age, it’s important to respect the boundaries of others. Ask for consent, listen when someone says ‘no’, and be mindful of personal space.
7) Neglecting gratitude
If there’s one thing that can truly change how people perceive you as you age, it’s gratitude.
Gratitude is more than just saying “thank you”. It’s about acknowledging the good in your life and expressing appreciation for it. It’s about focusing on what you have, rather than what you lack.
Expressing gratitude not only lifts your own spirits but also those around you. It fosters positivity, encourages kindness, and promotes a sense of mutual respect and appreciation.
Final reflection: The power of change
As we journey through life, one thing remains certain: change is inevitable.
Our bodies change, our circumstances change, and so too must our behaviors if we wish to cultivate appreciation and respect as we age.
The behaviors we’ve discussed aren’t innate character flaws – they’re habits, and habits can be changed.
Letting go of these habits is a step towards becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about fostering positive relationships, building strong connections, and earning genuine appreciation and respect from those around you.
So ask yourself: What behaviors can you let go of today to become a more appreciated version of yourself tomorrow?
It’s never too late for change. And the reward – feeling valued and appreciated as you age – is truly priceless.
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