People who maintain lifelong friendships often practice these 7 unique habits

There’s a subtle art to maintaining lifelong friendships.

It’s not just about being there for the good times, but also standing firm when the going gets tough.

See, lifelong friendships don’t just happen by chance.

They’re lovingly crafted, cared for, and nurtured over years – sometimes even decades.

They require some special habits that you might not find in your everyday interactions.

These habits are not extraordinary, but they’re often overlooked.

They’re simple, yet powerful practices that can make the difference between a fleeting acquaintance and a friend for life.

In this article, I’ll be sharing seven unique habits that people who maintain lifelong friendships often practice.

And I promise you, they’re easier to incorporate into your life than you might think.

1) They communicate regularly

Consistency is key in any long-term relationship, and friendships are no different.

People who manage to maintain lifelong friendships understand the importance of regular communication.

It’s not just about catching up on major life events, but also sharing the mundane, everyday details.

Communicating regularly doesn’t mean you need to speak every day or every week.

The frequency might differ from person to person. But what matters is the rhythm that you establish.

It’s about showing genuine interest in your friend’s life and being there through thick and thin.

And remember, communication is a two-way street.

It’s not just about talking – it’s also about listening.

Being a good listener can be a powerful way to strengthen your friendships.

In fact, it’s often during these regular conversations that you can spot if something is off or if your friend needs help.

So make sure to keep those lines of communication open!

2) They embrace silent moments

It might seem contradictory, but sometimes, the strongest friendships are the ones where you don’t need to fill every moment with conversation.

A study highlighted in Stylist found that silences aren’t awkward when we’re with friends, suggesting that comfortable silences can be a mark of increased connection.

People who maintain lifelong friendships often understand the power of comfortable silence.

They know that not every silence is awkward, and not every moment needs to be filled with words.

It’s about being comfortable in each other’s presence, even when there’s nothing to say.

It’s about understanding that silence doesn’t equate to disinterest or boredom.

Silent moments can actually help strengthen your bond.

They allow for reflection, introspection, and a deeper understanding of each other.

So, don’t be afraid of silence.

Embrace it.

After all, true friendship isn’t about constant chatter – it’s about feeling connected, even in the quietest moments.

3) They maintain their individuality

In my years of studying and writing about relationships, one thing has become abundantly clear — the healthiest friendships are those where each person maintains their individuality.

It’s easy to get lost in a close friendship, to start merging your interests, your hobbies, and even your identities.

But people who sustain lifelong friendships understand that it’s essential to have a life outside of the friendship.

In my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve into the importance of maintaining your identity and individual interests in any relationship.

It’s a theme that consistently emerges in strong, enduring friendships.

Having separate interests not only allows you to bring new ideas and experiences into the friendship, but it also gives you the space you need to grow as an individual.

So, don’t be afraid to pursue your passions and interests, even if they don’t align with your friend’s.

After all, it’s our differences that make us unique and interesting.

And it’s this individuality that can add richness and depth to a lifelong friendship.

4) They practice forgiveness

Let’s face it – no friendship is perfect.

We’re all human, and we make mistakes.

Even in the strongest of friendships, there will be disagreements and misunderstandings.

But people who maintain lifelong friendships have mastered the art of forgiveness.

They understand that holding onto grudges does more harm than good.

I’ve learned this lesson in my own friendships over time.

It’s easy to hold onto resentment, but it’s far more rewarding to let go and forgive.

As the great Nelson Mandela once said, “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”

The same holds true for any relationship, including friendships.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean you forget or condone the mistake.

It means you choose to free yourself from the burden of resentment and open the door for reconciliation.

5) They celebrate each other’s successes

It’s a wonderful feeling when your friends are genuinely happy for your achievements.

And it’s this shared joy that often characterizes lifelong friendships.

Research has shown that friends who celebrate each other’s successes experience higher levels of relationship satisfaction and personal well-being.

People who have long-lasting friendships take pride in each other’s successes.

They cheer each other on, offer encouragement, and are there to share in the triumphs, no matter how big or small.

I’ve been blessed to have friends who have celebrated my accomplishments with me, from the launch of my blog to the publication of my books.

Their joy and pride in my success have always amplified my own happiness.

So, don’t hesitate to show your excitement when your friend achieves something.

Be their biggest cheerleader.

It not only boosts their confidence, but also strengthens your friendship and creates lasting memories.

6) They respect boundaries

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned over the years is the importance of setting and respecting boundaries in friendships.

People who maintain lifelong friendships have a deep understanding of this.

They realize that every person has their own limits and comfort zones, and these need to be respected for the friendship to flourish.

As writer Anne Lamott wisely said, “No is a complete sentence.” It’s okay to say no, and it’s equally critical to accept a ‘no’ from your friend.

This mutual respect for each other’s boundaries contributes to a healthy, balanced friendship.

Whether it’s about personal space, time, or emotional boundaries, clear communication is key.

Be open about your needs and respect when your friend communicates theirs.

And hey, if you’re finding these insights useful, why not follow me over on Facebook?

I share plenty of relationship advice and insights there – right in your feed!

7) They aren’t afraid of tough conversations

There’s no sugarcoating it – some conversations are tough to have.

It’s tempting to avoid these awkward, uncomfortable discussions and keep the peace.

But people who maintain lifelong friendships understand that sometimes, you have to step into the discomfort.

They know that these tough conversations are often the ones that lead to growth and deeper understanding.

Research published in Evolutionary Psychological Science identifies providing support and engaging in frequent communication as key strategies for strengthening friendships.

Whether it’s addressing an issue that’s been bothering you, sharing a painful truth, or discussing a topic you disagree on, these conversations can be challenging.

But shying away from them doesn’t make the issue disappear.

It’s better to address the elephant in the room and work through it together.

Yes, it might be uncomfortable.

Yes, it might lead to disagreements.

But in the end, it’s this raw honesty and openness that builds trust and strengthens your bond.

So don’t be afraid of tough conversations.

They might just be the key to maintaining a lifelong friendship.

Let’s reflect on our connections

Friendship, like any other relationship, is a complex web of emotions, shared experiences, and mutual understanding.

And these habits we’ve discussed are some of the threads that hold this web together.

But let’s be honest, maintaining lifelong friendships isn’t always a walk in the park.

It’s an ongoing journey that requires patience, understanding, and a lot of love.

As we navigate through life’s ups and downs, our friendships evolve with us.

And it’s in this evolution that we find the beauty of these connections.

As Oscar Wilde wisely said, “Anybody can sympathise with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathise with a friend’s success.”

And isn’t that what true friendship is about?

Being there for each other – in good times and bad.

I hope you’ve found these insights useful for nurturing your own friendships.

And remember, no friendship is perfect.

What matters is that you keep showing up for each other.

To delve deeper into this conversation about relationships and personal growth, I recommend watching this insightful video by Justin Brown.

It offers a powerful perspective on embracing singleness as a phase of self-discovery and personal commitment.

YouTube video

At the end of the day, every friendship is unique.

So take these habits and adapt them to your unique relationships.

After all, it’s these lifelong friendships that add depth and richness to our lives.

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Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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