Trust is a fragile thing, isn’t it?
It’s so easy to give when things feel right, but once it’s broken, rebuilding it can feel almost impossible.
If trusting others doesn’t come naturally to you, trust me—you’re far from alone.
For many of us, it’s our past that leaves those scars.
I’ve been there myself, grappling with moments that made me question everything and everyone. And the more I’ve shared my story, the more I’ve realized it’s a common struggle.
There are certain experiences—seven, to be exact—that many of us who struggle with trust have in common.
In this article, we’re diving into those experiences and unpacking how they shape the way we view the world and the people in it.
1) Betrayal by a close one
Trust is often built within our closest circles.
So, when a friend, a family member, or a loved one betrays that trust, it hits hard.
Betrayal can come in many forms – from a friend sharing a secret you confided in them, to a partner being unfaithful. These experiences can leave deep emotional scars.
The pain of the betrayal makes it difficult to trust again. You start questioning people’s motives and your own judgment.
This is a common experience among those who find it difficult to trust others. It’s not that they don’t want to trust, but the fear of being hurt again holds them back.
It’s okay to take time to heal and learn to trust again. It doesn’t happen overnight, but with the right steps, it’s definitely possible.
2) Going through a bitter breakup
Breakups. They’re never easy.
But some leave deeper scars than others.
I remember my first serious relationship. It was young love, full of promise and dreams.
Until the day it wasn’t. The breakup was tough – accusations flew, trust was shattered, and the pain was unbearable.
That experience shook my faith in relationships and my ability to trust others. I started second guessing every potential partner, looking for signs of betrayal before it could happen.
Many people who struggle with trust have had similar experiences. A bitter breakup can alter our perspective on relationships and trust, making us more cautious and guarded.
But it’s important to remember that not everyone will betray your trust. Healing takes time, but it’s a journey worth taking.
Don’t let past experiences rob you of future happiness.
3) Having overly critical parents
Our parents play a major role in shaping our views towards trust.
Research suggests that children who grow up with overly critical parents tend to have trust issues as adults.
Overly critical parents set high standards and often express disappointment when those standards are not met. They may belittle their children’s achievements and constantly point out their flaws.
Growing up in such an environment can lead to a constant fear of not being good enough.
This fear often manifests as trust issues in adult relationships, as we’re always worried about being judged or rejected.
Understanding this can be the first step in healing and learning to trust again.
4) Being bullied or ostracized
Experiencing bullying or ostracism in childhood or adolescence can deeply impact our ability to trust others.
Whether it’s being picked on at the school playground or being left out by a clique of friends, these experiences can make us feel vulnerable and unworthy.
We start to associate social interactions with pain and rejection, and put up walls to protect ourselves.
This defensive mechanism, while useful in the short term, can hinder our ability to trust and form meaningful relationships later in life.
5) Experiencing a traumatic event
Sometimes, life throws us curveballs that we’re not prepared to handle.
I was 15 when my family was involved in a severe car accident. Thankfully, we all survived, but the trauma of that day lingered for years.
In the aftermath of the accident, I found it hard to trust people, situations, and even life itself. It felt as if everything could change in an instant, and that was a terrifying thought.
Many of us who’ve experienced traumatic events find it difficult to trust again. The world seems unpredictable and unsafe, and trusting others feels like inviting more pain.
However, it’s crucial to remember that while life is uncertain, it’s also filled with moments of joy and love.
6) Being let down consistently
Trust is built on consistency.
So, when people let us down consistently, it erodes our ability to trust them and others.
Whether it’s a friend who always cancels plans at the last minute, or a parent who never keeps their promises, such experiences can make us wary of relying on others.
We start expecting disappointment and stop trusting people to follow through on their word. This can make it difficult to form close relationships, as trust is a foundational element of any strong bond.
However, remember that not everyone is unreliable.
There are people out there who keep their promises and value your trust.
7) Not being heard or validated as a child
Children who grow up without feeling heard or validated often struggle with trust in adulthood.
When our feelings, thoughts, and experiences are constantly dismissed or invalidated, we start to feel unseen and misunderstood. We may start to hide our true selves, fearing rejection or ridicule.
This can lead to difficulties in trusting others with our thoughts, feelings, and experiences later in life. We fear that they too will dismiss us or not understand us.
But everyone deserves to be heard and validated. It’s never too late to seek out people who will listen and understand you.
Trusting others with your thoughts and feelings can be a healing experience, one that helps you regain your trust in people.
Final thoughts
Trust is a delicate fabric woven from our experiences, interactions, and emotions.
When this fabric is frayed or torn by painful experiences, it’s natural to hesitate before trusting again.
It’s a protective mechanism, a way of avoiding further pain.
But remember, trust is also resilient. It can be mended, even when it seems hopelessly damaged.
The process may be slow, requiring patience and fortitude, but it’s worth the effort.
The key is to acknowledge your past experiences, understand their impact, and gradually learn to trust again. It’s okay to start small, with baby steps.
Surround yourself with people who respect your boundaries and prove themselves to be trustworthy. Seek professional help if needed.
And most importantly, trust yourself.
You’ve survived painful experiences and emerged stronger. You have the strength to heal and the wisdom to discern who deserves your trust.
Feeling stuck in self-doubt?
Stop trying to fix yourself and start embracing who you are. Join the free 7-day self-discovery challenge and learn how to transform negative emotions into personal growth.
