8 traits of people who cannot stand being alone, says psychology

While solitude can be a source of peace for some, others find it almost unbearable.

According to psychology, people who struggle with being alone often share specific traits that reveal their discomfort with solitude.

These behaviors and thought patterns stem from deeper emotional needs and can significantly influence their relationships and personal growth.

In this article, we’ll uncover eight traits of people who cannot stand being alone, offering insights into what drives their need for constant connection:

1) Extreme restlessness when alone

People who dread being alone often exhibit extreme restlessness when they find themselves in solitude.

This restlessness can take on many forms.

Perhaps they’re always reaching out to others, or maybe they’re constantly engaged in some activity to distract themselves from the silence of solitude.

It’s almost as if their energy has no outlet when they’re alone, and it manifests as an incessant need to stay occupied.

Psychology suggests that this trait often stems from an intense fear of introspection or dealing with one’s own thoughts and feelings.

Alone time, for these individuals, isn’t seen as an opportunity for self-reflection or relaxation, but rather as a daunting prospect filled with unease and discomfort.

And it’s not just about them being uncomfortable with their own company.

Their constant need for social engagement often leads to them feeling guilty or anxious when they’re unable to interact with others.

2) Proficient multitaskers

Interestingly, individuals who cannot stand being alone often emerge as skilled multitaskers.

Their constant need for stimulation and engagement pushes them to juggle multiple tasks at once.

You might find them simultaneously managing a work project, texting a friend, and planning their next social gathering.

However, this isn’t necessarily a badge of efficiency or productivity.

It’s more of a coping mechanism to keep their minds occupied and to ward off feelings of loneliness or isolation.

The more tasks they handle, the less time they have to confront the discomfort of their own company.

Moreover, they often use their multitasking abilities to maintain social connections, even when they’re busy with other tasks.

Psychology explains that this tendency to multitask is more about filling up every moment with activity rather than accomplishing more.

It’s another way for them to avoid the quietness and solitude that comes with focusing on one task at a time.

3) Oversharing personal information

People who can’t stand being alone often share personal details about their lives more freely than others.

They may reveal intimate aspects of their past, their hopes, fears, or daily experiences to almost anyone who will listen.

This might seem like they’re just open and friendly, but it’s actually a strategy to quickly establish connections with others.

By sharing personal information, they stimulate empathy and closeness, which helps them avoid feelings of loneliness.

Interestingly, this behaviour is linked to the human brain’s natural response to social exclusion.

When we feel excluded or alone, our brain’s dorsal anterior cingulate cortex – the area associated with physical pain—gets activated.

Sharing personal stories can help alleviate this psychological ‘pain’ as it generates a sense of connection and acceptance from others.

However, this tendency to overshare can sometimes backfire.

Not everyone is comfortable with such openness early on in a relationship, and it may lead to these individuals being perceived as overwhelming or too intense.

4) Deeply empathetic

One beautiful trait often found in people who can’t stand being alone is their deep sense of empathy.

They have a natural ability to understand and share the feelings of others.

This emotional sensitivity allows them to form quick and deep connections with those around them.

Their empathetic nature stems from their own emotional experiences; fear of being alone often goes hand in hand with heightened emotional sensitivity, making them more in tune with the feelings of others.

It’s as if they’re always tuned into the emotional frequency of those around them.

They’re usually the friends who will lend an ear when you need to vent, or the ones who feel genuinely happy for your joys and achievements.

However, while their empathy is a gift that makes them wonderful friends and partners, it can also leave them vulnerable.

They can absorb other people’s emotions like a sponge, which can sometimes result in emotional overload.

It’s important for them to learn to set boundaries and protect their own emotional health as well.

5) Always available for plans

Who’s the first person you think of when you want to hang out?

Is it the friend who’s always available, no matter how last-minute your plans are?

That’s another trait of people who can’t stand being alone—they’re often the ones who never say no to an invitation.

Whether it’s a spontaneous road trip or a simple coffee catch-up, they’re always up for it.

Their social calendar is usually packed, and they make a conscious effort to fill any free time with social activities.

It’s not that they don’t value their time; they just prefer to spend it with others rather than alone.

We all have moments when we crave company and seek out impromptu social activities, so this trait is something many of us can relate to.

However, for these individuals, it goes beyond occasional social cravings.

It’s a constant need, a way to ensure they’re never left alone with their thoughts for too long.

While their readiness to socialize makes them great companions, it’s crucial for them to recognize the importance of balance.

6) Experiencing anxiety in silence

Does the phrase “deafening silence” ring a bell? For individuals who dread being alone, silence can indeed be overwhelming.

They often get anxious when things get too quiet, and try to fill the silence with noise or conversation.

I remember a friend who always had the radio or TV on even when she was alone at home; or, if no one was around to chat with, she would call up someone, simply because she couldn’t handle the quiet.

She confessed that silence made her thoughts louder and more intrusive, which caused her anxiety.

This discomfort with silence has its roots in our human need for social interaction and connection.

When we’re alone and it’s quiet, we’re left with our thoughts and feelings, which can be daunting for some people.

However, it’s important to note that not all silence needs to be filled.

Sometimes, embracing the quiet can help us get in touch with our inner selves and promote mental clarity and peace.

7) Difficulty maintaining long-term relationships

It might seem paradoxical, but people who can’t stand being alone often have a hard time maintaining long-term relationships.

They crave company, yet their constant need for interaction can sometimes come across as clinginess or neediness, which can put strain on their relationships.

Their fear of being alone can make them rush into relationships without taking the time to consider if it’s the right fit.

They might overlook red flags or compromise their own needs simply to avoid being single.

Here’s the reality check: Being in any relationship just for the sake of not being alone isn’t healthy.

It’s crucial to understand that quality trumps quantity when it comes to relationships—better to be single than in a relationship where you’re not valued or respected.

Moreover, depending on others for happiness is a slippery slope.

It’s essential for everyone, especially those who fear being alone, to learn to find contentment within themselves.

8) Self-awareness is key

Finally, the most crucial trait to remember is that people who can’t stand being alone often lack self-awareness.

They may not realize that their constant need for company is actually a symptom of their fear of solitude.

These people might chalk up their restlessness or inability to be alone as just being social butterflies, without recognizing the underlying issue; they might not understand why they struggle in relationships or why silence makes them anxious.

Recognizing these traits is the first step towards understanding and dealing with the fear of being alone.

It’s also important to remember that it’s perfectly okay to enjoy being around others.

However, learning to be comfortable in your own company can be a powerful skill.

Embracing solitude doesn’t mean you’re lonely; it simply means you’re at peace with yourself.

Final thoughts

Understanding the traits of people who fear being alone is a step towards empathy and self-awareness.

Everyone has a unique relationship with solitude.

For some, it’s a comforting blanket; for others, it’s a daunting prospect.

There’s no right or wrong way to feel about being alone.

If you identify with these traits, it’s crucial not to judge yourself harshly.

It’s okay to enjoy the company of others, but finding comfort in your own company can add a beautiful dimension to your life.

Ultimately, you’re in charge of your own happiness and well-being.

Here’s to fostering understanding, embracing our unique traits, and learning to love our own company—to a more self-aware and compassionate life!