7 subtle behaviors of people who tend to neglect self-care, says psychology

My grandpa had a saying: “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”

A simple statement, but it always stuck with me. It’s about self-care. The notion that you can’t take care of others until you’re taking care of yourself.

But self-care? That’s a tricky thing.

See, we often think we’re doing fine. We’re managing. We’re getting by. But there’s a difference between surviving and thriving, right?

Psychology backs this up – in ways you might not expect. There are subtle behaviors that can indicate we’re neglecting our own needs, our own well-being.

Curious about what those are?

Let’s delve into the subject – here are seven signs that you might be neglecting self-care, according to psychology. Remember, it’s not about shaming or blaming – it’s about understanding and adjusting. Because, after all, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

1) Ignoring physical needs

We all do it.

You’re engrossed in a project, and before you know it, hours have passed and you haven’t eaten. Or maybe you’ve been pushing yourself at the gym, ignoring that nagging pain in your knee.

Sound familiar?

Psychology says this can be a subtle sign of self-neglect. It’s easy to rationalize – you’re busy, you’re motivated. But consistently ignoring your body’s signals? That’s not self-care.

Remember, your body is a finely tuned machine. It needs fuel, it needs rest, it needs care. So next time you’re tempted to skip lunch or push through pain – take a pause. Listen to your body. It’s smarter than you think.

2) Neglecting downtime

I used to think that downtime was a luxury.

My calendar was packed. Work, family, friends, hobbies – there wasn’t a spare moment in sight. I wore my busyness like a badge of honor. Sleep? Who needs that when there’s so much to do!

Then, I hit a wall.

I was exhausted, irritable, and far from my best self. That’s when I realized: downtime isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity.

We need rest and relaxation to recharge and rejuvenate – mentally and physically.

So if you’re always on the go with no time to simply unwind – psychology suggests you might be neglecting self-care. Remember, it’s not lazy to rest. It’s essential.

3) People-pleasing

Oh, the allure of being liked.

It’s a trap I’ve fallen into. Saying yes when I meant no. Going out when all I wanted was to stay in. Subtly molding myself to fit expectations, at the cost of my own needs and wants.

Here’s the hard truth: It’s exhausting. And it’s a form of self-neglect.

Psychology tells us that constantly seeking approval and validation from others can be harmful to our mental health. It leads to stress, anxiety, and a loss of self-identity.

So if you find yourself constantly bending to fit others’ expectations – it might be time to take a step back and focus on self-care. Because at the end of the day, the most important person you need to please is yourself.

4) Overlooking emotions

It’s a common scenario.

Something upsets you. You feel a surge of emotion, but instead of acknowledging it, you push it aside. You tell yourself it’s not a big deal, or you don’t have time to deal with it right now.

I’m guilty of this too. It seems easier to bury emotions than to confront them.

But psychology warns against this.

Ignoring or suppressing our emotions is a form of self-neglect. Our feelings are important indicators of our well-being and need to be addressed, not dismissed.

So next time you find yourself brushing off your feelings, take a moment. Acknowledge them. Process them. It’s not easy, but it’s necessary for self-care.

5) Always in a hurry

Ever find yourself rushing from one task to the next, feeling like there’s never enough time in the day?

I sure have. It’s like living life on a treadmill – constantly moving but never really getting anywhere.

Here’s something interesting though.

Studies show that people who are always in a rush are more likely to experience stress, anxiety, and burnout. This constant state of hurry can be a sign of self-neglect.

Slowing down, taking time to breathe, and savoring the moment are essential aspects of self-care. So if you’re always feeling rushed, it might be time to hit the brakes and take a breather. Your mind and body will thank you for it.

6) Not setting boundaries

Sometimes, saying no can be the kindest thing you can do. For others, and especially for yourself.

It took me a while to realize this. I was always saying yes, always available, always ready to lend a hand. But this left little time for myself.

Psychology tells us that not setting boundaries is a form of self-neglect. It’s about respecting your own time, energy, and emotional capacity.

It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to prioritize your needs. It’s okay to set boundaries. It doesn’t make you selfish or uncaring – it makes you human.

So, if you’re finding it hard to draw the line, remember that self-care isn’t just about pampering yourself. It’s also about safeguarding your well-being by setting healthy boundaries.

7) Dismissing compliments

This one’s subtle, but important.

Ever find yourself brushing off a compliment? Maybe you downplay your achievements or deflect praise onto others.

I’ve done it. It feels more humble, less boastful.

Accepting compliments graciously is a form of self-recognition and self-care. It’s about acknowledging your worth and giving yourself credit where it’s due.

So the next time someone gives you a compliment, try to resist the urge to dismiss it. Instead, accept it with grace and gratitude. You’ve earned it.

Parting thoughts

If any of these behaviors resonate with you, know that you’re not alone.

Many of us neglect self-care in subtle ways without even realizing it. But there’s power in awareness. Once you identify these patterns, you can start making changes.

Remember, self-care isn’t selfish. It’s essential.

Don’t be too hard on yourself if you see these behaviors in your life. Change takes time and patience.

Start small. Listen to your body, respect your emotions, slow down from time to time, accept compliments, and set boundaries.

It’s about creating a balance that works for you – a balance between caring for others and caring for yourself.

Because at the end of the day, you can’t pour from an empty cup. So take care of yourself first. You’re worth it.

As psychologist Carl Rogers said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” So embrace your imperfections, be kind to yourself, and remember: self-care is a journey, not a destination.

May this journey lead you to a place of better health, happiness, and self-love.