When your toddler throws a tantrum, you feel like a failure. When your teenager slams the door, you feel hopeless.
Welcome to parenthood.
But the fact is, being a good parent isn’t always about smooth sailing. It’s more about how you weather the storms.
And guess what? You’re probably doing a better job than you think. Here are 8 signs that show you’re a good parent, even if it feels like you’re constantly failing.
1) You’re not afraid of playing the bad guy
Let’s face it, no kid likes being told no.
But part of being a good parent is setting boundaries and sticking to them, even when it’s not popular. So when you find yourself enforcing rules and facing the backlash, remember that it’s a sign you’re doing something right.
You see, maintaining discipline isn’t about being a tyrant, it’s about teaching your child important life skills like patience, respect for others, and self-control.
So next time your kid is throwing a fit because you said no to that extra piece of candy, just remember: It’s a tough job, but someone’s got to do it.
And that someone is you.
You’re a good parent. Keep going.
2) You’re their safe space
Remember when my son had his first nightmare? He was so terrified that he couldn’t go back to sleep. He came running into my room, tears streaming down his face and he just wanted to be held.
Holding him close, whispering soothing words until he fell back asleep, I realized something – I am his safe haven.
As a parent, if your child turns to you in their moment of fear or distress, knowing that you can make them feel safe and loved, that’s a clear sign you’re doing something right.
Even when you feel like you’re failing just because you can’t protect them from every bad dream or every hurtful situation, remember that being there for them in those tough times is what really counts.
That’s good parenting.
3) You encourage their independence
Did you know that the Montessori approach to education, a method practiced in over 20,000 schools worldwide, places a huge emphasis on fostering independence in children? This is because it’s seen as a key element in their development and preparation for life.
When you let your child make their own choices, explore their environment, and learn from their mistakes, you’re actually setting them up for future success.
Yes, watching them struggle can be hard. But remember, every time they put their shoes on the wrong feet or pour too much milk into their cereal and it spills over, they’re learning.
And that’s all thanks to you. Keep it up!
4) You listen to them
In the midst of a hectic day, it’s easy to nod along to your child’s ramblings without really hearing them. But if you’re taking the time to truly listen, even when it’s about their favorite cartoon character or the bug they found in the yard, you’re doing an excellent job.
Listening to your child conveys that their thoughts and feelings are important. This not only boosts their self-esteem but also fosters open communication, which is crucial in building a strong parent-child relationship.
So next time you’re knee-deep in laundry or swamped with work emails, and your kid starts a story with “Guess what happened today?”, pause and give them your undivided attention.
Trust me, it’s worth it.
5) You admit when you’re wrong
I’m not going to lie, this one can be tough. I mean, who likes admitting they’re wrong? But as a parent, I’ve realized that it’s not just about being right. It’s about teaching my child the value of honesty, humility, and responsibility.
When I lose my temper or make a mistake, I apologize. I sit down with my child, look them in the eye, and say “I was wrong. I’m sorry.”
Doing this not only teaches them that it’s okay to make mistakes but also shows them how to handle these situations gracefully. It’s about setting an example.
And if you’re doing this too, give yourself a pat on the back. You’re raising your child to be a better human being. And that’s some pretty solid parenting if you ask me.
6) You let them fail
Most parents instinctively want to shield their children from disappointment and failure. However, allowing your child to experience these hardships can actually be a sign of good parenting.
When you step back and let your child face challenges, you’re teaching them resilience and perseverance. They learn to pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and try again. This isn’t just preparing them for the next playground battle, it’s equipping them with skills they’ll need for life.
So next time your child comes home upset because they didn’t make the school soccer team or they got a low grade on a test, resist the urge to fix it for them. Instead, guide them on how to handle it themselves.
It’s tough love, but it’s love nonetheless.
7) You’re consistent with rules and consequences
Parenting can sometimes feel like navigating a minefield of negotiations, especially when it comes to setting rules and consequences. But if you’re consistent with them, you’re doing a great job.
By being consistent, you teach your child what’s expected of them and what happens when they don’t meet those expectations. This helps them understand the concept of actions and consequences, which is crucial for their moral development.
Even if you’re tempted to let that late bedtime slide “just this once”, or ignore the forgotten chores because you’re too tired to deal with it – remember, consistency is key.
Keep it up. You’re doing a fantastic job!
8) You love them unconditionally
At the end of the day, this is what truly matters. You love your child, through the good times and the bad, the triumphs and the tantrums, the laughter and the tears.
Your love for them isn’t dependent on their grades, their behavior, or their achievements. It’s constant, unwavering and unconditional.
And that’s the ultimate sign you’re a good parent. Because love is at the heart of parenting, and you’re giving it in abundance.
In conclusion
If you’ve made it this far, chances are you’re a parent who genuinely cares about doing the best for your child. And that, in itself, is a sign of good parenting.
Parenting isn’t an exact science. It’s a journey filled with joy, love, worry, and yes, sometimes even doubt. The famous author Elizabeth Stone once said that deciding to have a child is like deciding to have your heart go walking around outside your body. And it’s true. Your child’s happiness becomes your happiness; their pain becomes your pain.
So if you’re questioning whether you’re a good parent, remember this: the very fact that you’re questioning means you care enough to want to do better. And that’s more than half the battle won.
You’re doing a great job. Keep going. Your child thinks the world of you, and for good reason. You are their world.
And that’s pretty spectacular, don’t you think?
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