When someone blurts out something awkward, you know they’re socially inept. When they can’t hold a conversation, you’re sure they lack social skills.
Simple signals of social shortcomings, right?
Yet, there are subtler signs hidden in everyday phrases that many miss. Some folks, unbeknownst to them, use these phrases and expose their poor social acumen.
This article will explore 8 such phrases. Buckle up, we’re about to decode the language of the socially awkward.
1) Overusing the phrase “You know”
We all have our verbal tics, right?
Those little phrases we slip into our conversations without even realizing it. Yet, for some, “You know” has become more than just a harmless habit.
It’s a crutch, a safety net for when you’re not quite sure what to say next. Overuse of this phrase can reveal a lack of confidence in social situations and a tendency to seek validation from others.
People with poor social skills often over-rely on “You know”, using it to fill awkward silences or as a way to constantly check if they’re being understood.
In moderation, “You know” is perfectly fine. But when it becomes every other word out of your mouth, it might be time to work on your conversation skills.
Interesting, isn’t it?
2) Using “I guess” way too much
Here’s something I’ve noticed in my own interactions.
Back when I was less confident in social situations, I used to preface my statements with “I guess”. More than I’d like to admit, honestly.
“I guess we could go to that restaurant.” “I guess that movie was okay.” Sound familiar?
This phrase, when used excessively, can signify uncertainty and a lack of assertiveness. It was as if I was trying to cushion my opinions, scared of how they might be received.
Once I realized this pattern, I made a conscious effort to express myself more directly. And let me tell you, it made a world of difference in my social interactions.
Guess what? It can do the same for you too.
3) Relying on “Whatever”
“Whatever” is one of those phrases that can be a double-edged sword. On one side, it can be a casual way to show flexibility or lack of preference. But on the other side, if used inappropriately or excessively, it can come off as dismissive or uninterested.
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It’s like this: the English language has over 170,000 words in current use. Yet, people with poor social skills often retreat to “whatever” instead of expressing their thoughts or feelings more clearly.
Remember, communication is a two-way street. A dismissive “whatever” can shut down meaningful conversation and leave the other person feeling unheard or undervalued.
So next time you’re tempted to throw out a “whatever”, remember there are 169,999 other words you could be using instead.
4) Constant use of “Um” and “Uh”
We’ve all been there. You’re in the middle of a conversation and suddenly you’re lost for words. It’s like your brain goes on a brief vacation and all you’re left with is “um” or “uh”.
While these filler words can be useful in giving us a moment to collect our thoughts, overusing them can be a clear tell-tale sign of poor social skills. It might give off the impression that you’re unprepared or unsure, even when that’s not the case.
Being conscious of this habit and making an attempt to reduce its frequency can lead to more fluent, confident speech.
Next time you find yourself stuck in the “um” and “uh” loop, take a moment, breathe, and then continue with your thought. Your conversation partner will thank you for it.
5) Overcompensating with “I’m sorry”
Let me share a little secret – I used to be an over-apologizer.
“I’m sorry” was my go-to phrase, even when there was nothing to be sorry about. Dropped a pen? “I’m sorry.” Someone bumped into me? “I’m sorry.”
Yes, apologies have their place. They show empathy and take responsibility for our actions. But overusing “I’m sorry” can make one appear submissive or lacking in self-confidence. It can also dilute the impact of a sincere apology when it’s truly needed.
So, I’ve learned to save my “I’m sorry” for when I really mean it. And you know what? It’s made my apologies more meaningful and helped me come across as more self-assured in my interactions.
6) Excessive use of “Just”
“Just” is one of those words that seems harmless. It’s small, unassuming and we use it all the time. But here’s the catch – it can subtly undermine the weight of what you’re saying.
Consider this: “I just think…” versus “I think…”. The first one sounds tentative, like you’re unsure of your opinion. The second one is assertive, showing confidence in your thoughts.
People with poor social skills often pepper their conversations with “just”, not realizing that it can make them appear less confident or decisive. So next time you’re about to say “just”, pause for a moment.
See if it’s really necessary or if it’s just a habit.
7) Misuse of “Literally”
“Literally” has become a buzzword in recent years. It’s used to emphasize a point or express an exaggeration. But here’s the issue – it’s often misused.
When “literally” is used for something that isn’t literal, it can confuse the listener and dilute the meaning of your words.
For example, saying “I literally died laughing” when you didn’t actually die can seem dramatic and insincere. People with poor social skills often misuse “literally”, not realizing how it can affect their credibility.
Remember, words have power, and using them correctly can greatly improve your social interactions.
8) “I don’t know” as a default response
“I don’t know” can be an honest admission of uncertainty. But when it becomes a default response to every question or suggestion, it could indicate poor social skills.
Falling back on “I don’t know” can signal a reluctance to engage in conversation or make decisions. It might appear as though you’re disinterested or lacking confidence in your abilities.
Engaging in conversation requires effort and active participation. So, instead of resorting to “I don’t know”, try expressing your thoughts or asking clarifying questions. It could open up new avenues of conversation and help build stronger connections.
Closing thoughts
If you’ve made it this far, you’re likely more aware of the power words hold and the subtle signals they can send.
Having poor social skills isn’t a lifelong sentence. It’s merely a starting point to learn, grow, and improve. Remember, we all stumble, miscommunicate and even stick our foot in our mouths from time to time. It’s part of being human.
The phrases we’ve dissected here aren’t inherently bad, but awareness of how and when we use them can serve as stepping stones towards better social interactions.
So next time you’re in a conversation, pay a little more attention to your words. You might be surprised at what they reveal. And remember, every step towards better communication is a step towards stronger connections.
Who knows? With practice and awareness, you may just transform from socially awkward to socially adept. Now, wouldn’t that be something?
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