If you want to take greater control of your life as you get older, say goodbye to these behaviors

Growing older comes with its own set of challenges. One of those is trying to maintain control of your life, your choices, and your happiness. Often, the behaviors we’ve picked up along the way can hinder us more than we realize.

There are certain behaviors that, once we bid them farewell, can help us take a firmer grip on our life as we age. The key is recognizing these behaviors and understanding how they’re holding us back.

In the next part of this article titled “If you want to take greater control of your life as you get older, say goodbye to these behaviors,” I’ll share with you what these behaviors are and how you can start to let them go. Trust me, it’s worth it.

1) Living in the past

As we age, it’s all too easy to dwell on the ‘good old days.’ Nostalgia has a powerful allure, but it can also be a roadblock to progress and personal growth.

Living in the past can prevent us from seeing and seizing present opportunities. It can also cloud our judgment, making us feel stuck, or even worse, irrelevant.

Don’t get me wrong, reflecting on past experiences is not inherently bad. It’s when we start to idealize the past and reject the present that it becomes a problem.

We need to remember that every stage of life has its unique beauty and challenges. Instead of longing for what once was, let’s embrace the here and now. Let’s say goodbye to living in the past.

If we want to take control of our lives as we grow older, we must be willing to live in the present moment. Because it’s the only moment we truly have control over.

2) Putting everyone else’s needs before your own

There’s a fine line between being selfless and neglecting yourself. I learned this lesson the hard way.

A few years ago, I was the person everyone turned to when they needed help. I was always there for my family, friends, and even acquaintances. I felt that it was my duty to help others, even if it meant putting my own needs and desires on hold.

But eventually, it started to take a toll on me. I was exhausted, stressed, and felt like I had no time for myself. One day, I realized that in my quest to be there for everyone else, I had forgotten to take care of my own needs.

That’s when I decided to say goodbye to this behavior. It wasn’t easy. There were times when I felt guilty for prioritizing myself. But over time, I realized that taking care of myself wasn’t being selfish. In fact, it made me a better friend, a better family member because I was happier and healthier.

So if you’re like how I used to be, always putting everyone else’s needs before your own, it’s time to say goodbye to this behavior. You’re important too and you deserve to take care of yourself just as much as you take care of others.

3) Fear of trying new things

As we get older, it’s easy to get comfortable with what’s familiar. But did you know that trying new things can actually help keep your brain healthy? It’s true. Studies have shown that learning new skills and experiences can help improve cognitive function and even delay the onset of dementia.

Sticking to the same routine day in and day out can make life feel stagnant. It can also limit our growth and personal development.

Saying goodbye to the fear of trying new things doesn’t mean you have to start bungee jumping or backpacking around the world (unless you want to). It can be as simple as taking a new route to work, trying a new recipe, or learning a new language.

Embracing change and novelty is an excellent way to keep life interesting and take control of our lives as we age. So let’s bid farewell to the fear of trying new things and say hello to a world full of possibilities.

4) Clinging to ego

In the journey of life, our ego can often be our worst enemy. It can cloud our judgment, cause unnecessary conflicts, and prevent us from truly connecting with others. This is a behavior that needs to be let go if we want to take control of our lives as we age.

Buddhism teaches us about the concept of “anatta” or “non-self.” It’s the idea that our ego, our self-concept, is an illusion and that clinging to it only leads to suffering.

In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego“, I delve deeper into this concept and provide practical tips on how to let go of your ego. It’s a resource that can help you understand and apply the wisdom of Buddhism in your life.

Saying goodbye to your ego doesn’t mean losing your sense of self. Instead, it’s about embracing humility, practicing empathy, and learning to see things from different perspectives. It’s about living with maximum impact and minimum ego. And trust me, it’s a liberating experience.

5) Constantly seeking validation

Years ago, I found myself constantly seeking validation from others. Whether it was at work or in my personal life, I was always looking for affirmation from people around me. I craved compliments, needed reassurances, and thirsted for recognition.

This constant need for validation was exhausting. It was like being on a treadmill that never stopped. No matter how much validation I received, it never seemed enough.

One day, I realized that this incessant need for approval was holding me back. It was preventing me from being myself and making decisions based on what I truly wanted.

So, I decided to say goodbye to this behavior. It wasn’t easy and there were times when I faltered and fell back into old patterns. But with time and patience, I learned to value my own opinion above others.

Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s still nice to receive compliments and recognition. But they no longer define my worth or dictate my decisions. And that has made all the difference.

So if you find yourself constantly seeking validation from others, try saying goodbye to this behavior. Trust in yourself and believe in your worth. After all, you are your own best judge.

6) Avoiding failure

We’ve been conditioned to believe that failure is bad. From a young age, we’re taught to avoid it at all costs. We’re encouraged to play it safe, to stick with what we know, and avoid taking risks that might lead to failure.

But what if I told you that this fear of failure is actually holding you back? That instead of avoiding failure, we should be embracing it?

Failure is not the end of the road. It’s a stepping stone to success. It’s an opportunity to learn, grow, and improve.

When we avoid failure, we limit our potential. We stay in our comfort zones and miss out on opportunities for growth and development.

So let’s say goodbye to avoiding failure. Let’s start viewing failure not as a setback, but as a stepping stone towards success. And remember, every successful person has failed at some point in their journey. It’s not the failure that defines us, but how we respond to it.

7) Neglecting self-care

In the hustle and bustle of life, it’s easy to put self-care on the back burner. We tend to prioritize work, family, and other responsibilities over taking care of ourselves. But neglecting self-care is a behavior we need to say goodbye to if we want to take control of our lives as we get older.

Self-care is not a luxury, but a necessity. It’s about taking care of our physical, emotional, and mental well-being. It’s about setting boundaries, saying no when needed, and taking time out to recharge.

When we neglect self-care, we risk burning out. We become less productive, less happy, and less healthy.

So let’s make a conscious effort to prioritize self-care. Whether it’s taking a walk in nature, meditating for a few minutes each day, or simply getting enough sleep, let’s make self-care a non-negotiable part of our routine. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first.

8) Relying on others for happiness

The most important behavior to say goodbye to if you want to take control of your life as you age is relying on others for your happiness. Your happiness should never be tied to someone else. It’s not fair to you or to them.

Happiness is a personal journey. It’s about finding contentment within yourself and not seeking it in others. It’s about creating a life that brings you joy and fulfillment.

Remember, you are the author of your own story. You have the power to create your own happiness. So let’s say goodbye to relying on others for our happiness and start cultivating our own joy.

Final thoughts: It’s a journey of self-discovery

Personal growth and taking control of one’s life is a profound journey, deeply intertwined with our beliefs, perceptions, and behaviors.

One of the pivotal aspects of this journey is acknowledging and letting go of behaviors that hold us back. It’s about embracing change, learning from failures, prioritizing self-care, and understanding that our happiness lies within us.

As we age, this journey becomes even more significant. It’s not just about adding years to our life but adding life to our years. It’s about living with maximum impact and minimum ego.

In my book “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego“, I delve deeper into some of these concepts, providing practical tips to help you navigate your journey.

Remember, saying goodbye to these behaviors is not an overnight process. It takes time, patience, and commitment. But each step you take brings you closer to a life that’s truly yours – a life where you’re at the helm, charting your course.

So as you reflect on this article, ask yourself: Which behaviors are holding you back? And more importantly, are you ready to say goodbye to them? The answers may surprise you.