If you want to be a better parent to your child as they get older, say goodbye to these behaviors

Parenting evolves as your child grows, and the strategies that worked when they were younger may no longer resonate as they age.

To strengthen your bond and support their independence, it’s crucial to let go of behaviors that can unintentionally hinder their growth or strain your relationship.

Saying goodbye to these habits can help you create a more understanding, respectful, and nurturing dynamic.

Here are the behaviors to leave behind if you want to be a better parent to your child as they grow older—how many of these can you commit to changing?

1) Stop doing everything for them

In the early years, it’s natural to want to do everything for your child.

Tying shoelaces, preparing meals, cleaning up toys—it’s often quicker and easier to just do it yourself.

But as your child gets older, this habit can become a hindrance.

You see, one of the key elements of growing up is learning how to take care of oneself and that’s something they won’t learn if you’re always swooping in to do everything for them.

It might be tough at first as you might have to bite your tongue and sit on your hands as they fumble with their laces or make a mess in the kitchen.

But, remember, the goal isn’t to make your life easier in the short term. It’s to prepare them for the long haul.

Letting them face challenges and solve problems on their own is a crucial part of this process.

It might feel like you’re being unhelpful or even uncaring, but rest assured, it’s a big step towards helping them become independent adults.

2) Cease the constant hovering

When my eldest started school, I found it incredibly hard not to hover.

I was always there, ready to swoop in at the first sign of trouble; I’d help with homework, smooth over friendship issues, even argue with teachers on her behalf.

Turns out, I was doing more harm than good.

One day, after a meeting with her teacher, I was told that my daughter was growing increasingly dependent on me.

She struggled to make decisions and would often wait for me to step in before trying to solve problems herself—that was my wake-up call.

I realized that by constantly hovering, I was preventing her from developing critical life skills.

She wasn’t learning how to handle conflict, make decisions or stand up for herself—because I was always there to do it for her.

I made a conscious effort to step back; it was hard—really hard—but necessary.

Now, I give her the space she needs to navigate challenges on her own before stepping in.

I’ve seen her confidence grow and she’s becoming more capable of handling life’s ups and downs.

Our job as parents isn’t just to protect our children but also to prepare them for the world.

3) Ditch the one-size-fits-all approach

Different strokes for different folks, as they say—this couldn’t be truer when it comes to parenting.

Each child is unique, with their own set of strengths, weaknesses, and quirks.

Trying to parent each child in exactly the same way can lead to frustration, misunderstandings, and even resentment.

According to developmental psychology, children have different needs at different stages of their lives.

For example, a toddler requires constant care and attention, but a teenager needs more independence and space to explore their identity.

Tailoring your parenting style to suit your child’s individual needs can significantly improve your relationship with them.

It can also help them feel seen and understood, which is key to building their self-esteem.

What works for one might not work for another as each child is unique and deserves an approach that acknowledges and respects their individuality.

4) Letting fear dictate your parenting

It’s easy to let fear guide your decisions as a parent—fear of them getting hurt, fear of them failing, and fear of them making mistakes.

But here’s the thing: Failures and mistakes are part of growing up as they are opportunities for your child to learn, grow, and build resilience.

When we parent out of fear, we tend to become overprotective and controlling.

We try to shield our children from every possible harm and adversity.

But in doing so, we deny them the chance to learn valuable life lessons—instead of letting fear lead the way, aim for a balanced approach.

Yes, it’s important to keep your children safe, but it’s equally important to let them experience life with its ups and downs.

Allow them to take calculated risks, make their own mistakes, and learn from them.

5) Holding onto past mistakes

I recall a moment when I lost my temper with my son over something trivial.

The guilt that followed was overwhelming, and for a long time—I let that one instance define me as a ‘bad parent’.

But here’s what I’ve learned: Parenting is about recognizing mistakes, learning from them, and striving to do better next time.

Harboring guilt over past mistakes can cloud your judgment and affect your current parenting decisions.

It can also lead to self-doubt and anxiety, which doesn’t serve you or your child.

Try to see each mistake as a learning opportunity—apologize when necessary, make amends if possible, and then let it go.

Remember, how you rebound from your mistakes can teach your child a lot about resilience and forgiveness.

Don’t be too hard on yourself as we’re all human, we all falter, and that’s okay.

What matters is that we keep learning, growing, and striving to be the best parents we can be for our children.

6) Ignoring your own needs

Parenting can sometimes feel like a never-ending cycle of meeting everyone else’s needs while ignoring your own—but, remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Taking care of yourself is not just good for you, it’s good for your kids too.

When you’re well-rested, healthy and fulfilled, you’re better equipped to handle the challenges of parenting.

Self-care isn’t selfish, it’s necessary; it could be as simple as taking a few minutes each day to meditate, read a book, or go for a walk—it could also mean prioritizing a regular date night with your partner or meeting up with friends.

By taking care of your own needs, you’re not only setting a positive example for your children but also equipping yourself with the energy and patience needed to be an effective parent.

Don’t feel guilty about taking some time for yourself as it’s not only okay to put yourself first sometimes, but it’s also crucial for your wellbeing and that of your family.

7) Stop trying to mold them into mini versions of yourself

Your child is an individual—a unique blend of talents, interests, and dreams.

They are not a carbon copy of you, and trying to make them one is futile and damaging.

The most important thing you can do as a parent is to encourage your child to be their authentic self.

Foster their interests, even if they don’t align with yours; celebrate their individuality and help them discover their own path in life.

By doing so, you’re not only showing them that they are loved and accepted for who they truly are but also empowering them to build their own identity and self-esteem.

So let go of your expectations of who your child should be and embrace who they are. It’s one of the greatest gifts you can give as a parent.

Final thoughts: It’s a journey of evolution

Parenting, in essence, is an ongoing journey of adaptation and growth—as our children evolve, so must our parenting styles.

Remember this: A study by the University of Minnesota found that the quality of the relationship between parent and child in their early years significantly impacts their social and emotional health as adults.

This implies that the conscious changes we make now in our parenting habits can have profound effects on our children’s future well-being.

Whether it’s allowing them to make their own mistakes, respecting their individuality, or taking care of our own needs, each small step brings us closer to becoming better parents.

As we evolve in our parenting journey, let’s remember that the goal isn’t to mould our children into a certain kind of person but to help them become the best version of themselves.

Perhaps, in doing so, we too will become the best versions of ourselves!