7 behaviors of parents who raise ungrateful and self-entitled children

Raising children to be grateful and considerate requires intentional effort, but some parenting behaviors, often unintentional, can lead to the opposite result—children who feel entitled and lack appreciation.

These behaviors can create an environment where children grow accustomed to expecting things without earning them, diminishing their sense of responsibility and gratitude.

Here are seven behaviors of parents that can raise ungrateful and self-entitled children—how many of these behaviors might be present in your parenting style?

1) Constantly saying “yes”

We all want to keep our children happy, and often, the quickest way to do that is by saying “yes” to their every request.

But here’s the catch: By always saying “yes”, these parents are unintentionally setting their child up for a lifetime of unrealistic expectations.

They begin to believe that every time they ask for something, they should receive it.

This can lead to them growing up feeling entitled and ungrateful.

It’s a hard pill to swallow, but sometimes, saying “no” is the best thing parents can do for their child.

Remember, it’s about teaching them that they can’t always get what they want—a valuable life lesson that will help them navigate the real world more effectively.

2) Not setting boundaries

This one strikes a personal chord with me: I remember when my daughter was about five years old.

She was a bundle of energy, always curious and always wanting to explore.

To be honest, setting boundaries felt like I was restricting her free spirit.

But here’s what I learned over time: Without boundaries, she began to believe that she could do whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted.

This created issues when we were in public places or when she had to follow rules at school.

I realized that by not setting boundaries, I was actually doing her a disservice.

She needed to understand the importance of respecting others’ space and time, and that there are certain rules we all must follow.

It wasn’t easy, but over time, setting boundaries helped her become more respectful and considerate of others.

It made me realize that as parents, sometimes the hardest decisions we make are the ones that truly benefit our kids in the long run.

3) Overpraising

Praise is essential in building a child’s self-esteem.

However, overdoing it can lead to a sense of entitlement.

Here’s something most parents might not know: According to a study by the American Psychological Association, children who were overpraised were more likely to exhibit narcissistic traits as they grew older.

This means they were more self-centered and had an inflated sense of their own importance—it’s a sobering thought.

The key is balance: Praise your child when they do something truly noteworthy, but avoid showering them with compliments for every single thing they do.

By doing this, you’re teaching them that real accomplishments are the result of effort and hard work, not just something that’s handed out freely.

4) Not modeling gratitude

You’ve heard it before: Children are like sponges, they absorb everything around them, including our attitudes and behaviors.

If we don’t model gratitude in our own lives, it’s unlikely our children will learn to appreciate what they have.

It’s not enough to tell them to say “thank you” as we need to show them why it’s important.

This could be as simple as expressing appreciation for a beautiful day or a delicious meal, or thanking someone who has helped us out.

By modeling gratitude, we teach our children not just to expect things but to appreciate them.

It’s a small step that can go a long way in raising grateful children.

5) Rescuing instead of teaching

There was a time when my son struggled with his mathematics homework.

It was painful to watch him wrestle with the problems and even more painful to resist the urge to swoop in and solve them for him.

But that’s exactly what I had to do.

You see, by constantly rescuing our kids from tough situations, we rob them of the opportunity to learn and grow.

They need to experience failure, frustration, and disappointment in order to develop resilience and problem-solving skills.

So, I let my son struggle; it wasn’t easy for either of us, but over time, he learned not just how to solve those math problems, but also that he could overcome difficulties on his own.

It’s a lesson I hope he carries with him throughout his life.

Moreover, it’s a reminder for me that sometimes, the best way to help our kids is by letting them help themselves.

6) Giving materialistic rewards

Most of us are guilty of this: We reward our kids with toys, gadgets, or sweets as a way to motivate them or show our love.

However, this can inadvertently nurture a sense of entitlement.

Children begin to associate love and approval with material possessions, and they start expecting rewards for every good behavior or achievement.

Instead, consider non-materialistic rewards like spending quality time together, playing their favorite game, or even just a big hug and words of affirmation.

This helps them understand that love and appreciation aren’t tied to material possessions, and it encourages them to value experiences and relationships more than things.

7) Neglecting to teach empathy

Empathy is the cornerstone of gratitude and humility.

Without it, children struggle to understand the feelings and needs of others, leading to self-centeredness and entitlement.

Parents should teach their child to put themselves in other people’s shoes and encourage them to consider how their actions might affect others.

This simple practice can profoundly influence their ability to appreciate what they have and to respect the needs and feelings of those around them.

It’s not just about raising grateful children, but about fostering compassionate and considerate human beings.

Final thoughts: It’s all about balance

Parenting is a complex art, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach.

We all strive to raise happy, confident children, but it’s critical not to tip the scale towards entitlement and ingratitude.

The behaviors we’ve discussed aren’t necessarily “wrong”.

In fact, they often stem from love and the desire to provide the best for our children—the key lies in moderation and maintaining a balanced approach.

Remember that it’s okay to say “no” because it’s crucial to set boundaries and it’s beneficial to let your child face challenges.

It’s about teaching them that the world doesn’t revolve around them, and that empathy, gratitude, and hard work are invaluable traits.

As parents, our actions and attitudes play a significant role in shaping our children’s perspectives.

Let’s guide them, teach them, and most importantly, let’s lead by example.

After all, we’re not just raising children—we’re raising the future adults of our society!