They say you can’t judge a book by its cover, but let’s be real—everyone does.
I mean, we all want to believe that we’re judged on the things we say or the stories we tell, but let’s be honest: it starts way before that.
The way you shift your weight while waiting to shake a hand, the way you glance (or don’t) when someone speaks—these moments are small, almost imperceptible, yet they’re screaming something.
I’ve been on both sides of this, and trust me, those first few seconds are when the magic—or the awkwardness—happens.
1) Your body language
You might not realize it, but your body language is broadcasting loud and clear, even before you open your mouth.
According to psychologists, people can pick up on subtle cues like how you stand, the way you move, and what you do with your hands.
Are you crossing your arms defensively or are your hands relaxed at your sides? Do you make confident, purposeful movements or do you fidget nervously?
Your body language can give people an instant impression of you – whether you’re confident, nervous, open, or closed off.
So it’s worth paying attention to. After all, it’s one of the first things people notice about you when they meet you.
2) Your handshake
I still remember the first time I met my mentor. Her handshake was firm and confident – it instantly made me respect her.
A handshake is one of the first physical interactions you have with someone, and it can say a lot about you.
Is it firm and confident, weak and limp, or overly aggressive? People often make judgements about your character based on your handshake.
It’s actually backed up by research. Studies have shown that a firm handshake helps create a positive first impression for both men and women.
Just like my mentor, a good handshake can leave a lasting impression that speaks to your confidence and professionalism.
3) Your attire
In the blink of an eye—literally—people form judgments based on what they see.
Neuroscientists at MIT found that the human brain can process images in as little as 13 milliseconds, which means your outfit is one of the first things someone notices when they meet you.
This snap judgment isn’t just about style; it’s also important how you present yourself, the colors you choose, and the overall impression your appearance creates.
Whether we like it or not, our attire communicates a lot.
It can project personality, status, or even your attitude toward the occasion.
That’s why being intentional about what you wear, especially in new situations, can make a meaningful difference in how people perceive you.
4) Your punctuality
Being on time for a meeting or an appointment says a lot about your respect for other people’s time.
If you’re late, it can send a message that you don’t value the time of the person you’re meeting. On the other hand, if you’re early or on time, it shows that you’re organized, reliable, and considerate.
Punctuality is more than just being on time – it’s about showing respect for others.
5) Your smile
A genuine smile can instantly make you more likable and approachable.
When you meet someone for the first time and you smile, it sends a message that you’re friendly, open and positive. Plus, smiling can also trigger a similar response in the other person, making them feel more at ease around you.
However, keep in mind that people can usually tell a genuine smile from a fake one. So, keep your smiles sincere and warm to create a positive first impression.
6) Your ability to listen
There’s something deeply touching about meeting someone who truly listens to you.
When you meet a person for the first time, they’ll notice whether you’re genuinely interested in what they have to say or if you’re simply waiting for your turn to speak.
By actively listening, you can show that you respect them and value their thoughts. This can help form a strong connection right from the start, even in a brief interaction.
Communication is not just limited to talking, you have to be able to listen too. And people will always remember how you made them feel heard and understood.
7) Your eye contact
When I was younger, I had a habit of looking away or down when someone was talking to me. I didn’t realize it then, but it was a sign of my insecurity.
Maintaining good eye contact can show confidence and interest in the conversation. It tells the other person that you’re focused on them and what they have to say.
On the other hand, avoiding eye contact can make you seem untrustworthy or unsure of yourself.
So whether it’s a quick chat or a serious discussion, try to look people in the eye. It’s a small detail that can make a big difference in how they perceive you.
8) Your silence
In our rush to make a good impression, we often feel the need to fill every moment with words. But silence, used wisely, can be powerful.
When you’re quiet, it signals that you’re comfortable in your own skin and confident enough to let a conversation breathe.
It also shows that you’re thoughtful and considerate, taking the time to process what’s been said before responding.
So don’t be afraid of a little silence. It might just speak volumes about you.
9) Your manners
Remember when your parents told you to mind your manners? Well, they were onto something.
Saying please and thank you, holding the door open for someone, or waiting your turn to speak – these small acts of politeness can tell a lot about your character.
Good manners demonstrate respect for others and show that you’re considerate.
Even in casual settings, don’t forget to mind your Ps and Qs. It’s a small detail that people notice and appreciate.
10) Your authenticity
In the end, nothing is more appealing than being genuine.
People can sense when you’re being true to yourself, and it immediately makes you more attractive and relatable. Authenticity fosters trust and connection, making your interactions more meaningful and memorable.
So, don’t try to be someone you’re not. Embrace your uniqueness and let it shine through.
Because when you’re authentic, people not only notice – they also remember.
Final thoughts
Every first meeting is like a blank page waiting for a story. But instead of words, you’re writing with gestures, expressions, and the energy you bring into the room.
Whether it’s how you shake hands, how much eye contact you hold, or how genuine your smile is, people notice.
And not in some cold, calculated way—these moments spark that instinctive, “I like them” or “Not sure about them” reaction we’ve all felt.
Here’s the thing: connection doesn’t require perfection. You just need to show up as someone who listens, who cares, who’s real.
So, if you’re worried about what people notice, just keep this in mind—what truly sticks isn’t flawless body language or impeccable timing.
It’s your sincerity. Be yourself, and they’ll feel it.
Feeling stuck in self-doubt?
Stop trying to fix yourself and start embracing who you are. Join the free 7-day self-discovery challenge and learn how to transform negative emotions into personal growth.
