Navigating life is a tricky business, and sometimes, we learn vital lessons a tad too late.
Speaking from experience – and as a relationship expert who’s heard countless stories from women all over – I can confirm that there are certain life lessons many of us tend to grasp a bit later in life.
In fact, according to psychology, there are 8 key lessons that 99 percent of women learn just slightly too late.
And no, it’s not just you, it’s most of us.
Hi there, I’m Tina Fey, the founder of the Love Connection blog, and in this article, I’m going to share these insightful lessons with you.
Let’s get started.
1) Self-love isn’t selfish
It’s a fact: many of us women tend to put everyone else’s needs above our own.
We look after our families, our partners, our friends, often at the expense of our own well-being. And while it’s commendable to care for others, it’s equally important to care for ourselves.
Here’s where psychology steps in. It stresses the importance of self-love and self-care in maintaining mental and emotional health.
However, the crucial lesson of self-love often comes a bit too late for most of us. We run ourselves ragged trying to make everyone else happy and then wonder why we’re so exhausted.
The truth is, it’s not selfish to prioritize your own needs and wants sometimes. It’s actually essential for your overall well-being.
2) It’s okay to say no
This one’s a biggie. Many of us women often find it hard to say no, especially when it means disappointing someone we care about.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve spread myself too thin, agreeing to things I didn’t want to do just to keep others happy. Can you relate?
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The lesson here is that it’s okay to say no. In fact, it’s more than okay – it’s essential for our own sanity and well-being.
As the legendary poet and civil rights activist Maya Angelou wisely said, “I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. But remember, you also have the right to say no without feeling guilty.”
Your time and energy are precious. Don’t feel obligated to say yes to everything. It’s not selfish – it’s self-preservation. Learn this lesson now rather than later, and trust me, your future self will thank you.
3) Independence is empowering
Growing up, many of us were taught the fairy tale narrative: the prince saves the damsel in distress, and they live happily ever after. But let’s be honest, waiting around for a prince to solve our problems isn’t exactly practical, is it?
In my personal journey and through my work as a relationship expert, I’ve come to realize the beauty and power of independence. It’s a lesson many of us women learn a bit late in life.
Being able to stand on your own two feet, to make your own decisions, and to be self-reliant is incredibly empowering. It not only boosts your self-esteem but also gives you the confidence to face life’s challenges head-on.
That’s one of the key themes I explore in my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship. I delve deep into how we can cultivate healthy independence in our relationships, instead of falling into patterns of codependency.
Remember, ladies, we can be our own heroes. And there’s no better time to start than now.
4) Perfect is overrated
Now, this might sound a bit counterintuitive, but hear me out.
Many of us women spend a significant portion of our lives striving for perfection. Perfect body, perfect career, perfect relationships – you name it.
But here’s the unexpected lesson that many of us learn a bit too late: perfection is overrated. Why? Because it’s unattainable and it puts an immense amount of pressure on us.
In my experience, the pursuit of perfection often leads to stress, anxiety, and even self-loathing when we inevitably fall short of the impossible standards we set for ourselves.
And remember, in the wise words of author and speaker Brené Brown, “Imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we’re all in this together.” Learn to love your perfectly imperfect self – it’s one of the most liberating lessons you can learn.
5) It’s never too late to chase your dreams
Remember when we were kids and we dreamt of becoming astronauts, ballerinas, or even the president? As we grew older, many of us let go of these dreams in favor of more ‘realistic’ goals.
This is a lesson I had to learn myself. When I first started the Love Connection blog, many people told me it was a pipe dream. But I held on to my passion and look where it has brought me!
The truth is, it’s never too late to chase your dreams. Whether you want to start a business, learn to dance, or write a book – go for it! Don’t let societal norms or others’ opinions hold you back.
Sure, there will be obstacles and setbacks along the way. But remember, every setback is a setup for a comeback.
6) Heartbreak can be a teacher
This one’s a hard pill to swallow, but it’s an essential lesson nonetheless. Heartbreak, as devastating and painful as it may be, can also be a profound teacher.
I’ve been there. The sleepless nights, the tears, the endless questions of ‘why’. It’s a pain no one wants to experience, but sadly, most of us do.
However, through the hurt and the healing, heartbreak can teach us resilience. It can show us our own strength and capacity for love. It can help us understand what we truly want and deserve in a relationship.
It might not feel like it at the moment, but every heartbreak is an opportunity for self-discovery and growth.
7) Age is just a number
Ladies, how many times have we fretted over turning a year older? I’ll admit, I’ve had my fair share of those moments too. But let me share a lesson I’ve learned – age is just a number.
Society has a way of making us feel like we’re on a ticking clock. There’s pressure to achieve certain milestones by certain ages. But here’s the truth: life isn’t a race.
As the brilliant actress Julia Roberts once said, “I think age is only important if you’re cheese.” Our value doesn’t diminish with age; instead, we grow wiser and more experienced.
8) Not everyone will like you, and that’s okay
This is a raw, honest truth that many of us struggle with: not everyone will like us. And guess what? That’s perfectly okay.
We live in a world where we’re constantly trying to fit in, to be liked, to be accepted. But the reality is, no matter how kind, generous, or friendly you are, there will be people who just don’t gel with you.
It’s a tough lesson to learn, especially for those of us who are people-pleasers. But it’s essential for our mental and emotional wellbeing to accept this fact.
Your worth isn’t determined by how many people like you. What truly matters is how you feel about yourself. So let go of the need for validation from others and focus on loving and accepting yourself. Trust me, it’s a game-changer.
Conclusion
These are just a few of the many lessons that we, as women, often learn a bit too late in life. But remember, it’s never too late to change, grow, and evolve.
As I’ve shared in my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, life is a journey of self-discovery and self-improvement.
So let’s embrace these lessons, learn from them, and use them to become the best versions of ourselves. After all, we’re all works in progress, aren’t we?
Here’s to learning, growing, and embracing life with all its ups and downs. Remember, you’re stronger than you think and more capable than you know.
Until next time,
Tina Fey
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