10 things you’re better off keeping to yourself, according to psychology

There’s a fine line between openness and oversharing.

In the name of honesty, we often end up revealing more than we should, risking our personal boundaries and relationships.

However, psychology suggests that there are certain things we’re better off keeping to ourselves.

In this article, I’ll be sharing 10 things you should probably keep under wraps. Remember, sometimes silence really is golden.

Let’s get started.

1) Personal judgments

We all form judgments, it’s a part of our human nature.

However, psychology suggests that sharing these judgments can often lead to conflict and misunderstandings.

It’s important to remember that everyone has their own perspectives and experiences, and what may seem obvious to you might not be the same for others.

So, before you share a judgment about someone or something, consider the possible reactions.

Ask yourself if voicing your judgment will add value to the conversation or the relationship. If not, it might be one of those things better left unsaid.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. And sometimes, respecting that boundary is the best course of action.

2) Unsolicited advice

I learned this lesson the hard way.

Once, a friend shared her troubles about her relationship. I thought I was helping by providing some advice, even though she didn’t ask for it.

But instead of appreciating it, she felt like I was intruding. She told me that she just wanted someone to listen to her, not tell her what to do.

It was jarring, but it taught me an important lesson. People often share their problems not because they want advice, but because they want validation or an ear to listen.

Unless someone specifically asks for your advice, it’s often better to keep it to yourself. It’s a difficult lesson to learn, but an important one nonetheless.

3) Past resentments

Harboring resentments is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. This quote, often attributed to Buddha, highlights the destructive power of resentment.

When we hold onto past grudges, our mental and physical health can suffer. Studies have shown that resentment can lead to increased stress, higher blood pressure, and other health problems.

Yet, sharing these resentments often doesn’t help either. It can lead to conflict, strain relationships, and prevent us from moving forward.

Instead of letting past resentments fester or sharing them inappropriately, consider healthier ways to cope. This could be through therapy, meditation, or writing in a journal. It’s not always easy, but letting go of resentment is often the best path to peace.

4) Your financial status

Money talk can be a tricky business.

While it’s necessary to discuss finances with your spouse or financial advisor, sharing your financial status with others can often lead to unnecessary comparisons and judgments.

Whether you’re doing well or struggling, revealing financial details can change the dynamics of a relationship. It might lead to feelings of superiority, envy, or pity.

In the end, it’s usually best to keep your financial situation private unless there’s a specific need to share it. Money matters are personal and it’s okay to keep them that way.

5) Personal secrets of others

Trust is a fundamental aspect of any relationship. And one of the quickest ways to break that trust is by sharing someone else’s secrets.

When someone confides in you, they are showing that they trust you with their vulnerability. Betraying that trust not only hurts them but also damages your reputation as a trustworthy person.

If someone tells you a secret, keep it to yourself. It’s a sign of respect and integrity, and it’s the right thing to do. Remember, not all information needs to be shared.

6) Self-doubts and insecurities

We all have moments of self-doubt and insecurity. It’s part of being human.

However, constantly vocalizing these insecurities may not always be beneficial. It can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy where our negative thoughts about ourselves end up shaping our reality.

It’s not about hiding your true feelings or pretending to be perfect. It’s about understanding that constant self-deprecation can impact your self-esteem and how others perceive you.

You’re allowed to have bad days and doubts, but remember also to acknowledge your strengths and achievements. You are more than your insecurities, and it’s important to remind yourself of that.

7) Excessive personal details

Once, during a casual dinner with colleagues, I found myself sharing intricate details about my daily routine, down to what brand of toothpaste I use.

While it seemed harmless at the time, I later realized that not everyone needed or wanted to know such intimate details about my life.

Sharing excessive personal details can make others uncomfortable and can cross boundaries of appropriateness.

It’s important to find a balance between being open and maintaining a level of privacy for your own comfort and the comfort of others.

8) Your good deeds

Doing good deeds is something we should all strive for. But announcing every single act of kindness you commit can sometimes diminish the sincerity of the act.

It might seem like sharing your good deeds will inspire others, but it can also come off as seeking validation or approval.

The true value of a good deed lies in the act itself, not in the recognition you receive for it. So, next time you do something kind, consider keeping it to yourself. It might make the act feel even more rewarding.

9) Negative opinions about mutual acquaintances

We all have opinions about the people in our lives. But sharing negative views about mutual acquaintances can put others in a difficult position.

It can create an uncomfortable environment and may even damage the relationships within your social circle.

Remember, it’s one thing to have a negative opinion, but expressing it can lead to unintended consequences. So, think twice before you share a negative view about someone you both know. It’s often better to focus on the positive or simply keep your thoughts to yourself.

10) Your personal and family issues

While it’s healthy to share your feelings and seek support, sharing intimate details about personal or family issues can sometimes do more harm than good.

Exposing these sensitive topics might lead to unwanted advice, judgment, or gossip. It can also put a strain on your relationships with the people involved in these issues.

It’s crucial to have a safe space to express these matters, like a trusted friend or a mental health professional. But remember, some things are just too personal for casual conversations or social media. It’s okay to keep some things private for the sake of your own emotional well-being.

Final thoughts: A matter of respect

The essence of knowing what to keep to yourself, according to psychology, boils down to a simple but powerful principle: respect.

Respect for others, their opinions, and their boundaries. Respect for your own privacy, peace of mind, and personal growth. And respect for the relationships you nurture, be it personal or professional.

In the words of American author and motivational speaker, Zig Ziglar, “Respect is not something that you can ask for, buy or borrow. Respect is what you earn from each person no matter their background or status.”

By choosing wisely what information to share and what to keep to ourselves, we show a deep understanding of this principle. We foster an environment of trust, cultivate stronger bonds, and ultimately, earn respect.

Remember this as you navigate through your conversations and relationships. Because sometimes, what you don’t say can be just as impactful as what you do.