10 common phrases that immediately turn people off when you first meet them

First impressions matter, folks. And what you say can make or break them.

Let’s be honest, we’ve all said things that didn’t land the way we intended. Especially when meeting someone new, the wrong phrase can have them checking their watches before you’ve barely introduced yourself.

The key to a positive first impression isn’t just about what you say, it’s about what you don’t say. And smart people know there are certain phrases that can immediately turn others off.

I’m going to share with you 10 common phrases that can be total deal-breakers when you first meet someone.

Let’s get started.

1) “I’m the best at…”

In the realm of first impressions, there’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance.

When we meet someone new, we’re keen to make an impression. However, bragging about your achievements or skills right off the bat isn’t the way to go. It’s akin to screaming “I’m self-absorbed!” and it can instantly send people running for the hills.

Instead of proclaiming your greatness, let your actions speak for themselves. People are smarter than we give them credit for; they’ll figure out how awesome you are without you having to tell them.

Humility is an attractive quality. A little modesty can go a long way in making a positive first impression.

2) “You wouldn’t understand…”

We’ve all been there. In the middle of a conversation when someone drops the line, “You wouldn’t understand…” and immediately, our interest wanes.

I remember one time I was at a networking event and met someone who seemed quite fascinating. We were having a great chat about our careers, hobbies, and even our favorite books. Then I asked him about his recent travels, genuinely interested in hearing his experiences.

Instead of sharing, he said, “Well, you wouldn’t understand because you haven’t been there.” Talk about a conversation killer! It felt dismissive and created an unnecessary barrier. I immediately lost interest in the discussion and soon found an excuse to move on.

Assuming what others can or cannot understand can come off as condescending. It’s better to share your experiences and let them decide for themselves.

3) “No offense, but…”

“No offense, but…” is one of those phrases that almost always precedes a statement that is, indeed, offensive. Here’s the thing – just because you say “no offense” doesn’t mean the other person won’t take offense.

Interestingly, psychologists believe this phrase can actually make the following statement seem even more offensive. It’s as if we prime the other person to be offended, making them more sensitive to whatever comes next.

Instead of using this phrase as a shield for criticism or unkind remarks, try to frame your feedback in a constructive and empathetic manner. After all, it’s not just what you say, but how you say it that counts.

4) “I don’t care…”

Imagine you’re having a conversation with someone new, and when you share your opinion, they respond with a nonchalant “I don’t care…” It’s hardly going to make you feel valued or respected, right?

Expressing apathy or disinterest in what someone else is saying can instantly damage your rapport with them. It sends a clear message: their thoughts, feelings or experiences are unimportant to you.

Instead, if you find yourself not particularly interested in the topic at hand, aim for a polite change of subject. It keeps the conversation flowing and maintains that crucial first-impression respect.

5) “Actually…”

“Actually…” is one of those seemingly harmless phrases that can quickly sour a conversation. It’s often used when we want to correct someone or assert our own knowledge on a topic. However, it can come off as condescending and know-it-all, particularly when you’re meeting someone for the first time.

If you disagree with something or have additional knowledge to share, there are more tactful ways to approach it. A simple “That’s interesting, I’ve read/heard/experienced something slightly different…” keeps the dialogue open and friendly.

First meetings aren’t about proving who’s smarter. They’re about building connections and finding common ground.

6) “You should…”

Unsolicited advice, particularly when meeting someone for the first time, can feel intrusive and presumptuous. Starting a sentence with “You should…” can come off as if you’re trying to impose your ideas or beliefs onto the other person.

I’ve found that it’s essential to remember that everyone has their own unique life experiences and perspectives. What might seem like the best solution to you might not be applicable or desirable for someone else.

Try showing empathy and understanding. Listening more and advising less can create a deeper connection and respect between you and the person you’re meeting for the first time.

7) “I’m always right…”

Nothing can make someone tune out quicker than hearing, “I’m always right.” It’s a phrase that screams inflexibility and a lack of openness to other perspectives.

I remember a colleague of mine who would often use this phrase. It didn’t matter what the conversation was about – work, movies, even the weather – he was always adamant that his viewpoint was the correct one. It quickly became draining to engage with him, and people would avoid starting conversations altogether.

Being open to being wrong and willing to learn from others is a sign of maturity and respect. It fosters better connections and makes conversations far more enriching and enjoyable.

8) “I don’t have time for this…”

Here’s a phrase that, while it might seem like a simple statement of fact, can actually be very off-putting: “I don’t have time for this…”

This phrase can communicate impatience, dismissiveness, or even rudeness. It suggests that whatever the other person is talking about isn’t important or interesting enough to warrant your time.

But here’s the twist: even if you genuinely are pressed for time, there are better ways to express it. Something like, “I’d love to discuss this further but I have another commitment. Can we revisit this later?” shows respect for the other person’s thoughts and maintains the positive tone of the conversation.

9) “That’s stupid…”

Dismissing someone’s ideas or opinions as “stupid” is a surefire way to make a poor first impression. It’s not just about the harshness of the term, but also the implication that the person expressing the idea lacks intelligence or thoughtfulness.

Even if you strongly disagree with what someone is saying, it’s crucial to express your disagreement respectfully. Opt for phrases like, “I see where you’re coming from, but I have a different perspective…” This not only conveys your differing viewpoint but also shows respect for theirs. After all, everyone is entitled to their own opinions.

10) “Whatever…”

The grand finale of conversation stoppers is the dismissive “Whatever…” It’s a single word that can convey indifference, disrespect, and a lack of interest all at once.

If you want to leave a positive impression, showing engagement and interest in what the other person is saying is key. Even if you disagree or aren’t particularly interested, responding with genuine curiosity or asking follow-up questions can keep the conversation flowing and show that you value their thoughts and opinions.

In the end, it’s about respect. Treat others’ viewpoints with the same respect you’d want for your own, and you can’t go wrong.