10 behaviors that instantly put people off when you first meet them

Making a good first impression is crucial, but there are certain behaviors that can instantly turn people off.

Let’s face it, we’ve all met someone for the first time and instantly felt a negative vibe. This isn’t about judging a book by its cover, but about picking up on subtle cues that set off alarm bells in our heads.

In this article, I’m going to share with you 10 behaviors that can instantly put people off when you first meet them. This isn’t about criticizing or pointing fingers, but about raising awareness and helping each other make better first impressions.

Let’s dive in and explore these behaviors that could be sabotaging your interactions without you even realizing it.

1) Bragging about your accomplishments

We all like to feel proud of our achievements, and it’s natural to want to share them. But there’s a thin line between being proud and bragging.

When you meet someone for the first time, they’re trying to get to know the real you. And if all you do is talk about your accomplishments, it can come off as self-centered and insecure.

This doesn’t mean you should downplay your achievements. It just means that you should let them come up naturally in conversation, rather than forcing them into the spotlight.

Remember, a good conversation involves give and take. If all you’re doing is talking about yourself, the other person may feel like they’re just there to admire you, which can be quite off-putting.

When you meet someone new, try to balance talking about yourself with showing genuine interest in the other person. You’ll come across as more authentic and likable.

2) Not making eye contact

Eye contact is so simple, yet so powerful. It shows that you’re engaged and interested in the person you’re talking to.

I remember when I met a colleague for the first time. He barely made any eye contact and was constantly looking around the room while I was talking. It instantly made me feel like he wasn’t interested in what I had to say.

It’s normal to occasionally break eye contact, especially if you’re shy or nervous. But consistently avoiding eye contact can make you come off as disinterested or even dishonest.

So next time you meet someone, try to maintain a good amount of eye contact. It will show that you’re present and attentive, which can go a long way in making a positive first impression.

3) Constantly checking your phone

In today’s digital age, our phones are practically glued to our hands. However, constantly looking at your phone when you’re meeting someone for the first time can be a huge turn-off.

Did you know the average person checks their phone 96 times a day? That’s once every 10 minutes! When you’re meeting someone new, those few minutes of undivided attention can make all the difference.

By checking your phone, you’re sending a message that whatever is happening on your screen is more important than the person in front of you. It’s disrespectful and can quickly put people off.

So next time you’re meeting someone new, keep your phone in your pocket. It will show that you respect their time and that you’re genuinely interested in getting to know them.

4) Interrupting others

Conversation is a two-way street. It’s as much about listening as it is about talking.

Interrupting someone while they’re speaking not only shows a lack of manners, but also indicates that you do not value what they have to say. It can leave the other person feeling disrespected and unheard.

It’s important to let others finish their thoughts before you jump in with yours. This shows that you’re an active listener and that you respect their perspective.

Everyone wants to feel heard. When you’re tempted to interrupt, hold back, listen and wait for the right moment to share your thoughts. This can significantly improve the quality of your conversations and relationships.

5) Being too negative

Positivity is attractive. It’s like a magnet that draws people in. On the flip side, negativity can repel people just as quickly.

If all you do when you meet someone new is complain, criticize or spread doom and gloom, it can be quite off-putting. It’s draining to be around negative energy, and most people naturally gravitate towards those who uplift them rather than bring them down.

That’s not to say you should mask your true feelings, but try to focus on the positive aspects of situations when possible. People are more likely to engage with you if you bring a positive vibe to your interactions.

A little positivity can go a long way in making a good first impression.

6) Not showing empathy

We all crave understanding and empathy. It’s what connects us as human beings. When you meet someone for the first time and they lack empathy, it can be immediately off-putting.

Empathy is about putting yourself in someone else’s shoes, understanding their feelings, and validating their experiences. It’s about showing that you care.

When you meet someone new, showing empathy can help forge a strong connection. It shows that you’re not just focused on your own experiences, but that you’re genuinely interested in understanding theirs.

Whether it’s a casual conversation or a deep discussion, show empathy. Let them know that their feelings matter to you. After all, a little empathy can go a long way in making people feel seen and understood.

7) Being dismissive

Everyone wants to feel valued and heard. When someone is dismissive of your thoughts or opinions, it can make you feel small and unimportant.

I remember when I was sharing my ideas in a meeting once, a colleague simply brushed them off with a wave of his hand, saying they were impractical without even hearing me out. It made me feel like my contributions didn’t matter.

Being dismissive can instantly put people off. It’s crucial to show respect for others’ thoughts and opinions, even if you disagree with them.

When you’re in a conversation, try to be open-minded and respectful. It will make others feel valued and appreciated, which always leaves a positive impression.

8) Trying too hard to please

While it’s important to be polite and respectful when meeting someone for the first time, bending over backwards to please them can actually have the opposite effect.

People value authenticity. If you’re constantly agreeing with everything they say or doing things solely to gain their approval, it can come off as insincere. It might even make them question your motives.

Instead, be true to yourself. Express your own opinions and values, even if they differ from theirs. People will respect you more for your honesty and integrity.

It’s not about pleasing everyone, but about being genuine and real. This can leave a much stronger impression than trying too hard to please.

9) Making it all about competition

Healthy competition is good. It can motivate us to excel and push our limits. But when meeting someone for the first time, turning everything into a competition can be a major turn-off.

If you’re constantly trying to one-up their stories or achievements, it can make them feel like you’re not really interested in them, but rather, in proving your superiority.

Instead of competing, try to connect. Show genuine interest in their experiences and achievements. Celebrate their successes instead of trying to overshadow them with your own.

Relationships are not about who’s better, but about understanding, respect, and mutual growth. So take competition out of the equation when meeting someone new. It will make your interactions more enjoyable and meaningful.

10) Not being present

In a world full of distractions, being fully present when you meet someone for the first time is a gift. If you’re preoccupied with your own thoughts or constantly looking around, it can make the other person feel unimportant.

Being present means actively listening, showing genuine interest, and responding thoughtfully. It shows that you value the person and the moment you’re sharing with them.

This simple act can have a profound impact on how people perceive you. So, strive to be present in your interactions. It’s one of the most powerful ways to leave a positive impression.