9 ways to get along with someone you dislike at work, according to psychology

Let’s be honest—there’s always that one person at work. You know, the one whose emails make your eye twitch or whose voice grates on you just a little too much during meetings.

Maybe it’s their personality, their habits, or just something you can’t quite put your finger on, but working alongside them feels like walking on a minefield.

I’ve been there too, stuck in situations where I had to grit my teeth and muster every ounce of professionalism to get through the day.

But here’s the thing: in most workplaces, avoiding them entirely isn’t an option. So, how do you maintain your sanity and make it work?

Psychology offers some pretty practical solutions—ones that don’t involve suppressing a sigh every time they walk into the room. Let’s dive into nine strategies that can help you get along with someone you dislike at work (without losing your cool).

1) Recognize and manage your emotions

Let’s face it, the workplace can sometimes be an emotional minefield. And when you’re dealing with someone you dislike, it can be even more challenging.

The first step in dealing with a difficult coworker is to acknowledge your own emotions. You don’t have to like them, but you do have to deal with them.

Suppressing your feelings or pretending they don’t exist will only make the situation worse.

Take a moment to identify what you’re feeling and why. Is it anger? Frustration? Disappointment?

Once you’ve identified your emotions, you can begin to manage them. This might involve taking a few deep breaths, taking a short walk, or even seeking support from a trusted colleague or friend.

Managing your emotions doesn’t mean ignoring them. It means acknowledging them and finding a healthy way to express them.

This way, you can approach interactions with the person you dislike in a more balanced and objective manner, which is a surefire way to improve relations at work.

It’s crucial to keep personal feelings separate from professional interactions – not always easy, but always necessary.

2) Find common ground

I remember a time when I had a coworker who I found extremely difficult to get along with. We had different work styles, different opinions, and it seemed like we were always butting heads.

But one day, I decided to try and find something we both had in common. Something outside of work that we could connect on.

During a casual conversation, I discovered that we both had a shared love for hiking. Suddenly, we had something to talk about that wasn’t related to work. Our conversations became more friendly, and slowly but surely, our working relationship improved.

Finding common ground can be a powerful way to build connections with others. It creates a sense of shared identity and can help to diffuse tension.

So, if you’re struggling to get along with someone at work, try to find something you both enjoy or care about. It could be a shared hobby, a favorite TV show, or even a type of food you both love.

It doesn’t have to be something big. Even small connections can make a big difference in improving your working relationship.

3) Practice empathy

Empathy—the ability to genuinely connect with and understand another person’s feelings—can transform workplace relationships.

Research highlights its impact: leaders who demonstrate empathy are often rated as stronger performers by their superiors.

Employees, in turn, tend to feel more committed and motivated under empathetic leadership.

Sounds straightforward, right?

Yet practicing empathy, particularly toward someone challenging to work with, can feel like an uphill climb. It requires stepping out of your own perspective and into theirs—a skill easier said than done.

The next time you encounter a difficult coworker, pause and reflect.

Perhaps they’re overwhelmed by stress, navigating personal struggles, or simply approaching situations with a different communication style.

Empathy doesn’t just resolve conflict; it builds bridges.

4) Set clear boundaries

While finding common ground and practicing empathy are vital, setting clear boundaries in professional relationships is equally essential.

Boundaries act as guideposts for acceptable behavior, helping to bring structure and predictability to your interactions—even with colleagues you find challenging.

Imagine a coworker who frequently monopolizes your time with off-topic chatter.

A polite but firm reminder about your need to focus on tasks can redirect the dynamic.

Or, if their criticism feels more harmful than helpful, a constructive conversation about feedback can shift the tone toward mutual growth.

As Brené Brown reminds us, “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.”

Setting boundaries isn’t about creating walls but about fostering clarity, respect, and healthier relationships.

These boundaries not only safeguard your well-being but also strengthen connections by reducing friction and misunderstandings. Balancing your needs with theirs ensures boundaries are both effective and considerate.

5) Seek support when needed

Navigating workplace relationships can be tricky, especially when you’re dealing with someone you don’t particularly like. Sometimes, despite your best efforts, things just don’t seem to improve.

In such cases, it’s okay to seek support. This could be from a trusted colleague, a mentor, or your HR department.

Discussing the situation with someone else can provide a fresh perspective and could help you come up with new strategies to manage the relationship.

Plus, sharing your experiences can reduce feelings of isolation or frustration. It reminds you that everyone has difficult work relationships at times and that it’s okay to ask for help.

Seeking support is not a sign of weakness. On the contrary, it shows that you’re committed to creating a positive work environment and are open to learning and growing.

6) Choose kindness

Kindness seems like an underused tool in our day-to-day lives, especially in a competitive work environment.

But choosing kindness, even in the face of disagreement or dislike, can make a world of difference.

Kindness doesn’t require becoming close friends with someone you find challenging.

Treating them with respect and dignity, even when it’s difficult, fosters a more harmonious environment.

Small gestures—like offering a warm greeting, listening with genuine attention, or lending a hand during their stressful moments—can ease tension and build bridges.

7) Keep a positive attitude

Working with a difficult colleague tests patience and composure.

Personality differences, contrasting work styles, or conflicting priorities can turn routine interactions into sources of stress.

Maintaining a positive attitude in such situations transforms the experience.

Shifting focus to your tasks, the aspects of your role that inspire you, and the colleagues who bring positivity creates a sense of control and resilience.

Relationships may not improve immediately, but choosing positivity strengthens your mindset and preserves productivity.

Viktor Frankl observed, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” This mindset demonstrates strength, turning challenges into opportunities for growth and professional balance.

8) Embrace the challenge

It might sound strange, but dealing with a difficult coworker can actually be a good thing. It can serve as an opportunity for personal growth and skill development.

Challenging relationships push us out of our comfort zones and force us to develop better communication, conflict resolution, and emotional intelligence skills.

They make us more adaptable and understanding, qualities that are valuable in every area of life.

So instead of seeing this person as a thorn in your side, try viewing them as a catalyst for your own development. Use these interactions as opportunities to practice patience, empathy, and assertiveness.

Embrace the challenge and use it as a stepping stone to become a better version of yourself.

9) Stay professional

No matter how difficult a coworker might be, it’s vital to always maintain your professionalism. Your behavior at work reflects not just on you, but also on your team and your organization.

Staying professional means keeping your interactions respectful and focusing on work-related issues. It means avoiding gossip, personal attacks, or any behavior that could escalate the situation.

You’re not expected to be best friends with everyone at work. But you are expected to work effectively and respectfully with all your colleagues.

Even when things get tough, keep your cool. Handle disagreements in a calm and mature manner. And always strive to uphold the highest standards of professionalism.

Your ability to stay professional even in difficult circumstances will not go unnoticed and can significantly enhance your reputation at work.

Conclusion

Ultimately, navigating challenging relationships at work isn’t just about easing daily frustrations—it’s a chance to grow personally and professionally.

Each interaction with a difficult coworker presents an opportunity to strengthen patience, improve communication, and develop emotional resilience.

By recognizing your emotions, setting clear boundaries, and maintaining kindness and professionalism, you create a more positive environment for yourself and those around you.

These efforts may not transform relationships overnight, but they will help you manage them with greater confidence and ease.

At the end of the day, your ability to face these challenges head-on reflects your commitment to growth and your readiness to thrive, even in less-than-ideal circumstances.