As an individual, it’s essential to understand the importance of self-reliance and independence.
This understanding can help you feel more empowered, capable, and in control of your life.
This subject is often overlooked when we discuss mental health and wellbeing, but it’s just as important.
Psychology tells us that there are specific tasks and responsibilities that we should never depend on anyone else to do for us.
Why? Because when we learn to take control of and manage these aspects of our lives, we promote self-growth, autonomy, and resilience.
I’ve collected nine key things that you should aim to handle independently, based on psychological research and insight:
1) Making choices for your life
It’s vital to understand that your life is shaped by the decisions you make.
This responsibility should never be handed over to someone else, no matter how well-meaning they might be.
Your choices might be about your career, your relationships, or even your day-to-day activities.
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed and want someone else to take the reins.
But remember, only you fully understand your feelings, aspirations, and what truly makes you happy or fulfilled.
Perhaps there have been times when you’ve allowed others to make decisions for you.
They might choose a path they believe is best for you, but it may not align with what you truly want.
Giving others the power to make decisions for you can lead to feelings of regret, resentment, and a life that feels unfulfilled.
2) Building your self-esteem
There’s a common misconception that compliments and praises from others can build your self-esteem.
While it feels good to be appreciated, relying solely on the validation of others for your self-worth can be a slippery slope.
Think about it: One day, you’re on cloud nine because someone complimented your work, and the next, you’re feeling low because someone else didn’t acknowledge your efforts.
This emotional rollercoaster is not healthy or sustainable; instead, self-esteem should come from within.
It’s about recognizing and appreciating your own qualities and achievements, regardless of other people’s opinions.
It’s important to practice self-love and self-affirmation—celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem.
Learn from your failures instead of beating yourself up over them; stop comparing yourself to others because everyone’s journey is different.
You are unique, valuable, and deserving of respect—from yourself first and foremost—so build that foundation of self-esteem within you and let it shine independently of anyone else’s opinion.
3) Finding your happiness
When you think about happiness, you might picture spending time with loved ones, receiving gifts, or achieving a lifelong dream.
Yes, these experiences can certainly bring joy—but the truth is, they are temporary and external sources of happiness.
The reality is, no one else can truly make you happy but yourself.
It might seem strange, but happiness is not something that can be given to you by someone else.
It’s not something that’s found in a perfect relationship or an extravagant vacation.
Happiness comes from within; it’s about finding contentment and appreciation in the mundane moments of life—like the warmth of the morning sun, a good book, or a quiet evening at home.
It’s also about embracing your emotions, both positive and negative.
Life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows—and that’s okay—so allow yourself to feel sadness, anger, or frustration.
It’s through these emotions that we grow and learn to appreciate the good times.
4) Overcoming your fears
Fear is a part of life—it’s something we all have to face at some point.
As much as we might wish for someone to swoop in and make our fears disappear, it’s just not going to happen.
The truth is, nobody else can conquer your fears for you.
They might stand by your side and offer support, but the act of facing and overcoming your fears is a battle you must fight on your own.
Maybe you’re afraid of failure, of rejection, of being alone; these fears can be paralyzing, stopping you from taking risks and chasing your dreams, but they can also be your greatest motivators.
Facing your fears isn’t easy as it’s uncomfortable and scary, but it’s also incredibly liberating—acknowledging the fear, understanding it, and then taking that leap despite it.
Arm yourself with courage, take a deep breath, and charge ahead.
The victory over your fears is a victory only you can claim.
5) Healing your wounds
We all carry wounds, some more visible than others.
These may be from past relationships, childhood experiences, or personal failures; they hurt and sometimes, they can hold us back.
While it’s comforting to have someone who wants to help you heal, the reality is, they can’t.
They can support you, listen to you, and stand by you, but they can’t go through the healing process for you.
Healing is a deeply personal journey that only you can embark on; healing requires facing your pain, understanding it, and allowing yourself to feel it.
For your wounds to heal, you must learn to let go of what has happened and moving forward with strength and hope.
Feel free to take you time as healing isn’t a race.
6) Managing your time
Wishing for more hours in the day, feeling overwhelmed with tasks, juggling work, personal life, and everything in between is something we’ve all done and experienced.
Time management can be a real struggle.
You might feel tempted to rely on others to keep you on track—to remind you of deadlines, to plan your schedule, to basically act as your personal alarm clock.
But here’s the thing: It’s your time and you should be the one managing it.
Learning how to manage your own time is about understanding your priorities, setting realistic goals, and making conscious choices about how you spend your time.
Find your balance between work and leisure, productivity and relaxation, doing what needs to be done and doing what you love.
Take control of your time and start by setting small goals, like planning your day the night before or allocating specific ‘me-time’.
You’ll soon find that managing your own time isn’t just more efficient—it’s also incredibly empowering.
7) Choosing your guilty pleasures
We all have them: Those little indulgences that we might not readily admit to but absolutely love.
It could be binge-watching a cheesy reality show, enjoying a giant tub of ice cream, or dancing around the house in your pajamas.
Relying on someone else to decide or approve your guilty pleasures? No way!
These are your personal joys that make you smile, laugh, or just feel good inside.
Who cares if your best friend doesn’t understand your love for 80s disco music or if your partner raises an eyebrow at your collection of superhero comics?
These are the quirky bits that make you, you!
8) Pursuing your dreams
No one else is going to chase your dreams for you; they’re your dreams for a reason—not your partner’s, your parents’, or your friends’—as they belong to you, and only you can make them come true.
Sure, it would be nice if someone else could do the hard work for us like face the challenges, take the risks, bear the failures but that’s not how it works.
And honestly, would you really want it to be?
Your dreams require your effort, your passion, and your determination.
They demand late nights, early mornings, and sometimes even tears, but every step you take towards achieving them, however small, is a victory.
Stop waiting for someone else to make your dreams come true.
Lace up your boots, roll up your sleeves, and get to work.
You might stumble, you might fall, but remember: It’s the chase that makes the dream worthwhile.
And when you finally achieve it? Oh, the joy of knowing you did it all on your own—there’s nothing quite like it.
9) Loving yourself
If there’s one thing you should absolutely never rely on anyone else for, it’s loving yourself.
This might sound cliché, but it’s the most important aspect of your personal growth and happiness.
You see, people can come and go in your life; they can love you, leave you, support you, or let you down, but there’s one person who’ll always be there for you—and that’s you.
Self-love is about appreciating yourself, embracing your flaws and strengths alike, and treating yourself with kindness and respect.
Additionally, it’s about prioritizing your needs, setting boundaries, and acknowledging your worth—looking in the mirror and genuinely loving the person you see.
Feeling stuck in self-doubt?
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