Friendships are meant to bring joy, support, and mutual growth.
However, not all relationships stand the test of time, and some may start feeling one-sided or unfulfilling.
No matter how long you’ve known someone, certain signs may indicate that the friendship is no longer healthy or worth your time.
Here are seven key signs that it might be time to reevaluate a friendship—regardless of your shared history:
1) You have one-sided conversations with them
In the world of friendships, communication is key.
But what if it starts to feel like you’re carrying the weight of the conversation?
This isn’t to say that friends should be keeping a tally of who calls whom first, but if you’re constantly feeling like you’re speaking into a void or your friend’s interest in your life is waning—it can be emotionally draining.
Take a moment to evaluate whether this is a one-off occurrence or if it’s become a pattern; if it’s the latter, this could be a red flag that you’re wasting your time on this friendship.
Every friendship should have a healthy balance of give and take.
2) You lack support
I had a friend who I’d known since childhood: We laughed together, shared countless memories, and had always been there for each other—until we weren’t.
As life got busier with work and family commitments, I noticed a change.
Whenever I was going through a tough time or simply needed someone to talk to, she was never available—every call went unanswered, every message unreturned.
It was a stark contrast to the past when she would drop everything to be there for me.
As much as I wanted to brush it off as her being busy, it became clear that she could make time for what mattered to her—and, unfortunately, our friendship wasn’t on that list.
That was a turning point for me. I realized that a friend who isn’t available in times of need might not be worth the emotional investment.
Friendships should be about mutual support and understanding.
If you’re always there for them but they’re never there for you, it might be time to reassess the friendship.
3) You feel drained after spending time with them
In psychology, there’s a concept known as ‘emotional contagion‘.
It’s the idea that we can ‘catch’ the emotions of those around us, much like catching a cold—we can leave a conversation feeling energized, happy, or in some cases, completely drained.
Feeling exhausted or emotionally depleted after spending time with your friend could be a sign that the friendship is more toxic than you realize.
This is especially true if you notice this happening regularly and not just during particularly intense or emotional discussions.
All friendships should generally leave you feeling positive, uplifted and understood.
4) You’re always the fallback plan
Being a friend’s second choice or fallback plan is never a nice feeling.
If you find yourself only being invited or included when their other plans fall through, it might be indicative of a deeper issue.
A true friend values your time and company, and wouldn’t consider you as just an option to fall back on, and include you in their plans because they genuinely enjoy your company.
You deserve to be someone’s first choice, not just their safety net.
5) Your feelings are always being dismissed
There was a time when I was going through a particularly rough patch.
I reached out to a friend, hoping to find a listening ear and some empathy—instead, my feelings were brushed off as being ‘overdramatic’ and ‘overthinking’.
That was a bitter pill to swallow as when someone you trust dismisses your feelings, it can feel like a betrayal.
It’s important to remember that your feelings are valid, and you deserve to be heard.
A true friend will take your feelings seriously, offering comfort and understanding, not judgment or dismissal.
6) You’re at the receiving end of their criticisms
Constructive criticism is a part of any healthy relationship, but when it crosses the line and becomes constant nitpicking or demeaning comments, it’s a sign of a problematic friendship.
Should your friend point out your flaws at a frequent rate, make negative comments about your life choices, or belittle your achievements can lead to feelings of self-doubt and low self-esteem.
A good friend should uplift you, not bring you down, by celebrating your accomplishments and providing constructive feedback when necessary.
7) You feel happier without them
At the end of the day, the most telling sign might just be how you feel when you’re not around them.
If you notice a significant lift in your mood or a sense of relief when they’re not around, it’s a clear sign that something isn’t right.
Your happiness and peace of mind are paramount.
Friendships should add to your life, not detract from it.
Final thought: It’s about self-respect
The crux of the matter lies in the respect you have for yourself and your own emotional well-being.
The philosopher Aristotle once said, “Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.”
The essence of this quote underscores the mutual respect, understanding, and support that a true friendship should encapsulate.
When a friendship drains you more than it uplifts you, it’s time to reassess its value—it’s not about the years you’ve shared but how they treat you, make you feel, and value your presence.
Only you can decide if a friendship is worth it.
Reflect, prioritize your emotional health, and remember—no friendship is worth losing your peace of mind or self-respect!
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