8 signs you’re becoming a kinder person as you get older, according to psychology

If I smile at you, you’ll know I’m happy. If I lend a helping hand, you’ll know I’m kind.

Pretty straightforward, right?

Well, not always. Kindness, like all human traits, is a complex characteristic that evolves over time. In fact, it’s often said that as we age, we become kinder.

But how can you be sure this is happening to you?

Psychology provides us with 8 clear signs. This is a quick look into the signs that your aging process might just be making you a kinder person.

1) You’re becoming more patient

Patience is a tricky thing.

It’s never easy to wait, to hold back, to take a deep breath and let things unfold at their own pace. It’s much easier to rush, to push, to try and force things to happen right away.

But as you age, you start to realize that patience isn’t just about waiting. It’s about understanding. It’s about accepting that not everything is within your control.

And it’s this understanding that breeds kindness. After all, how can you be kind if you’re constantly in a rush, if you’re constantly pushing and shoving without regard for others?

If you’re finding yourself more patient as you age, chances are that you’re also becoming kinder.

And that’s a beautiful thing.

2) You’re more forgiving

Forgiveness is a journey, not a destination.

I remember a time when I’d hold onto grudges like they were precious gems. Every slight, every insult, every perceived injustice would be cataloged in my mind, waiting for the perfect moment to be brought up and used as ammunition.

But as I’ve grown older, I’ve realized that holding onto grudges is like carrying around a bag of rocks. It’s heavy, it’s tiresome, and it doesn’t do anyone any good.

Now, I find myself letting go of grudges more easily. I’m not saying that I’ve become a saint overnight, but I’ve definitely noticed a change. The bag of rocks isn’t as heavy as it used to be.

And you know what? It feels good to forgive. It feels good to let go of the negativity and focus on the positive instead.

3) You’re more grateful

Did you know that practicing gratitude can actually rewire your brain to make you happier?

It’s true! Neuroscientists have found that the act of expressing gratitude triggers the production of dopamine and serotonin, two neurotransmitters responsible for our feelings of happiness and well-being.

As we age, we begin to appreciate the smaller things in life. We start to see the beauty in everyday moments that we would have previously overlooked.

We become more grateful for what we have, rather than lamenting what we don’t. This shift in mindset allows us to approach life with a kinder, gentler perspective.

So next time you find yourself feeling thankful for a beautiful sunset, a good cup of coffee, or even just the fact that you woke up this morning – know that it’s not just making you happier. It’s making you kinder too.

4) You’re more accepting of others

As we get older, our world view expands.

We meet new people, encounter different cultures, and experience things outside of our own bubble. With every new experience, we learn to see the world from a different perspective.

This broadened perspective helps us to become more accepting. We start to realize that everyone has their own unique story, their own struggles and triumphs.

We learn to appreciate people for who they are, rather than trying to fit them into our own preconceived notions.

The more accepting we are of others, the kinder we become. Because at its core, kindness is about understanding and accepting others without judgment.

So if you’re finding yourself more accepting of others as you get older, it’s a sign that your kindness is growing too.

5) You respect boundaries

Respecting boundaries is a form of kindness that often goes unnoticed.

I remember in my younger years, I used to think that the more I could do for someone, the better. I wanted to be there for everyone, all the time. But as I got older, I realized that sometimes the kindest thing you can do for someone is to give them space.

Now, I understand that everyone has their own boundaries, and it’s important to respect them. It’s not about being distant or uninvolved, it’s about understanding that everyone needs their own space and time.

I’ve learned that respecting boundaries doesn’t mean you care any less, it simply means you’re showing your care in a different way. And in my book, that’s a sign of true kindness.

6) You’re not afraid of saying no

Saying no can be one of the kindest things you do.

Sounds strange, doesn’t it?

But consider this: When we constantly say yes, even when we don’t want to, we’re not being true to ourselves. We end up feeling overburdened and stressed, and that can make us less kind to others.

As we get older, we gradually learn the importance of balance and self-care. We understand that we can’t pour from an empty cup. And sometimes, that means saying no.

So if you find yourself more comfortable with turning down requests or stepping back from commitments that don’t serve you, it’s not a sign of being selfish. It’s actually a sign that you’re becoming a kinder person – both to yourself and others.

7) You’re more generous with your time

Generosity isn’t always about money.

As we get older, we start to realize that time is one of the most precious commodities we have. And how we choose to spend it says a lot about us.

If you find yourself more willing to give your time to others – whether it’s helping a friend move, volunteering in your community, or simply listening when someone needs to talk – it’s a clear sign of growing kindness.

Being generous with your time shows that you value the people around you and are willing to make sacrifices for their well-being. And that, my friend, is kindness in its purest form.

8) You practice self-kindness

The most important sign of growing kindness is how you treat yourself.

As we age, we often become our own worst critics. But if you’re becoming more understanding, patient, and forgiving with yourself, it’s a powerful sign of growing kindness.

After all, how can you truly be kind to others if you’re not kind to yourself?

So, if you find that you’re treating yourself with more kindness as you get older, know that it’s the most significant sign of all.

Embracing the journey of kindness

Kindness is more than a trait. It’s a journey.

As we age, we accumulate experiences that shape us, change us, and ultimately make us kinder. It’s not an over-night transformation, but a gradual evolution that happens as we navigate through the ups and downs of life.

And while it’s great to recognize these signs within ourselves, it’s equally important to remember that kindness isn’t a destination to be reached. It’s a continual process of learning, growing, and becoming better versions of ourselves..

So if you’re noticing these signs in you, take a moment to appreciate your own personal growth. And remember, it’s never too late or too early to be kinder – to others and to yourself.

After all, kindness is not just about being good to others. It’s about being good to yourself too. And that’s the most beautiful part of this journey.

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Picture of Eliza Hartley

Eliza Hartley

Eliza Hartley, a London-based writer, is passionate about helping others discover the power of self-improvement. Her approach combines everyday wisdom with practical strategies, shaped by her own journey overcoming personal challenges. Eliza's articles resonate with those seeking to navigate life's complexities with grace and strength.

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