7 signs your partner doesn’t truly appreciate and respect you, according to psychology

A healthy relationship is built on mutual appreciation and respect, but when these elements are missing, it can leave you feeling undervalued and disrespected.

Psychology reveals certain patterns and behaviors that indicate a lack of genuine care in a partnership.

Here are seven signs that your partner may not truly appreciate and respect you—and how recognizing them can help you make more informed choices about your relationship.

Let’s dive into these seven signs your partner doesn’t truly appreciate and respect you:

1) They rarely validate your feelings

Feeling heard and understood is a fundamental need in any relationship.

When we express our feelings, we want validation and empathy, not dismissal or indifference.

Psychology tells us that validation is a critical component of emotional intelligence, a key indicator of a healthy relationship; it’s the act of acknowledging and affirming a person’s experiences and emotions.

But what if your partner rarely validates your feelings? What if they dismiss your emotions or belittle your concerns?

It may sound subtle, but this is a clear sign that they don’t appreciate or respect you as they should—leaving you feeling unimportant, invisible, and emotionally unsupported.

You deserve to be heard, understood and appreciated.

2) They don’t show interest in your day

Remembering the small details can make a big difference in a relationship as it shows you’re interested and invested in your partner’s life—but what happens when your partner doesn’t seem interested in your day-to-day experiences?

Let me share a personal example: I recall a time when I was working on a significant project at work.

It was challenging and stressful, but also incredibly exciting for me—each evening, I’d come home eager to share my progress and experiences.

But my partner never seemed interested; they’d nod, maybe even muster a half-hearted “that’s nice” before switching the conversation back to their own interests.

I felt dismissed and unimportant—my achievements, no matter how big or small, were met with apathy.

3) They regularly make decisions without consulting you

In a healthy relationship, decision-making is a shared responsibility—it’s about considering each other’s opinions and finding a middle ground.

But did you know that a partner who consistently makes unilateral decisions may not truly appreciate or respect you?

A behavior like this can manifest in various ways—from deciding on weekend plans without your input to making significant life decisions without involving you.

According to Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, this type of behavior—ruled under contempt—can be damaging to relationships as it sends the message that one partner’s opinion is less valuable or important than the other’s—a superiority complex, if you may.

4) They disregard your boundaries

Boundaries are essential in any relationship because they help to create a sense of safety and respect between partners.

Maybe you’ve asked them to stop scrolling through their phone when you’re having dinner together, or you’ve expressed discomfort about them discussing your personal issues with their friends.

If these requests are ignored or belittled, it’s not just about the specific issue at hand; it’s about the fundamental respect for your feelings and needs.

Disregarding boundaries is a form of disrespect, and it can cause significant harm to the relationship dynamic—don’t just brush it off!

5) They never apologize or accept responsibility

There’s nothing more frustrating than a partner who can’t say “I’m sorry” or accept responsibility for their actions.

I know this because I’ve lived it.

I remember an argument I had with a former partner. They had forgotten an important date, something that meant a lot to me.

Rather than acknowledging their mistake and apologizing, they turned it around on me, blaming my expectations and saying I was too sensitive.

This refusal to apologize or accept responsibility can be deeply hurtful; it’s not just about the hurt of the forgotten date or the unkind word, but the erosion of trust and respect in the relationship.

6) They don’t support your dreams and goals

Supporting each other’s dreams and aspirations is a fundamental part of any healthy relationship; being each other’s cheerleader, offering encouragement and support in both good times and bad.

But what if your partner doesn’t support your dreams or goals? What if they dismiss them, belittle them, or make you feel guilty for pursuing them?

This lack of support can be deeply damaging. It can make us doubt ourselves, our worth, and our abilities.

Remember, a loving partner will always want to see you succeed and will be there to support you every step of the way.

7) They don’t put in the effort to resolve conflicts

Conflicts are a natural part of any relationship, but what matters most is how those conflicts are handled.

A partner who doesn’t put in the effort to resolve conflicts, who avoids difficult conversations or shuts down when things get tough, is not demonstrating respect or appreciation.

The willingness to work through disagreements, to listen, understand, and find a compromise, is a sign of a healthy relationship.

By doing that, it shows that your feelings matter to your partner and that they value the relationship enough to put in the effort.

Final thoughts: It’s about mutual respect and appreciation

Human relationships are intricate, and shaped by emotions, beliefs, expectations, and past experiences.

At their heart, healthy relationships thrive on mutual respect and appreciation—feeling valued for who we are, not just for what we offer.

Dr. Brene Brown, a renowned researcher and author, once said, “We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known.”

If your partner dismisses your feelings, shows disinterest, ignores boundaries, avoids accountability, or refuses to support your dreams, take note—these are signs of a lack of respect and appreciation.

Remember, you deserve a relationship where you feel valued and truly loved.