Pregnant wife refuses to reveal baby’s gender to husband after he skips important doctor’s appointment for ‘fish ‘n’ chips’ meal

It’s one thing to miss a doctor’s appointment due to an emergency, and another to skip it for a casual meal with friends. When it comes to prenatal appointments, one might argue that it’s a shared responsibility, considering both parents have an equal stake in the baby’s welfare. Yet, one husband decided his desire for ‘fish ‘n’ chips’ superseded his responsibility of accompanying his pregnant wife to an important ultrasound appointment.

A disgruntled expectant mother on Reddit shared her predicament with this exact scenario. In her post, she described her husband’s repeated negligence towards attending prenatal appointments, culminating in her decision to withhold the baby’s gender from him as a consequence.

Expectant mother withholds baby’s gender from negligent husband

In her post, the pregnant woman, under the username Thrownoreveal1, detailed her husband’s recurrent habit of skipping prenatal appointments. His excuses ranged from soccer games to drinks and board games with friends. She noted that his reasons were often trivial and his response to her complaints was dismissive: “I’m not the one carrying the baby, why do I have to go see the dr with you?”.

The last straw for the expectant mother was when her husband chose a ‘fish ‘n’ chips’ meal over attending the appointment revealing their baby’s gender. He had promised to come but chose not to at the last minute. Despite her anger, she kept her cool and attended with her mother instead.

When he texted asking for the baby’s gender, she refused to tell him. Despite his persistent calls and demands, she stood firm on her decision. She told him that since he had refused to attend the appointment, he would not know the results until after the baby’s birth.

Her stand sparked a heated argument, with her husband calling her spiteful and immature. He insisted that as the father, he had the right to know. But she remained resolute. His family also got involved, pressuring her into revealing the gender but she declined.

The Reddit community largely sided with Thrownoreveal1. One user commented: “NTA. Already a deadbeat dad before the baby is even born.” Another added clarity on what these appointments mean: “To be clear, this is NOT a gender reveal appointment – it is a full anatomical scan in which they check every organ and limb for potential issues… Partner is incredibly selfish, and showing their true colours. Absolutely NTA.”

Reflecting on shared responsibility during pregnancy

While a woman physically carries a child during pregnancy, the journey is often seen as a shared responsibility between both parents. In this case, the expectant mother’s predicament highlights the importance of a supportive partner during pregnancy. Regular prenatal appointments are more than just routine check-ups; they offer a means for both parents to connect with their unborn child and assure themselves of the baby’s well-being.

The husband’s dismissive attitude, as described by Thrownoreveal1, is a stark reminder of how some partners may neglect their responsibilities during this critical period. Choosing a casual meal over an important doctor’s appointment is indicative of misplaced priorities. This behaviour raises questions about the distribution of parenting roles and responsibilities, particularly in the early stages before the baby is born.

Moreover, the reaction of the wider community – both the husband’s family and Reddit users – shines a light on societal attitudes towards parental roles. While some rallied around the mother, standing up for her right to be upset, others seemed to trivialise her concern, implying that she was playing mind games.

This incident underscores how expectations around shared responsibility in parenthood can vary starkly from one person to another. Is it enough to be physically present when the child is born, or does being an involved parent start from the moment of conception? These are questions that this situation brings to the fore, challenging traditional notions of parental involvement and responsibility.

Examining the pathway to responsible parenthood

The path to parenthood is paved with countless shared moments – joyous, stressful, and everything in between. As this Reddit thread reveals, those moments begin even before a child is born. The case of Thrownoreveal1 and her husband serves as a stark reminder that the journey towards responsible parenthood starts from the very first prenatal appointment.

It’s easy to get caught up in the idea that pregnancy is solely a woman’s responsibility because she is the one physically carrying the child. However, this mindset can lead to an imbalance in emotional support and shared responsibility. As future parents navigate their way through the maze of pregnancy together, it’s crucial for both parties to show up – not just physically, but emotionally, too.

In conclusion, it’s worth pondering whether Thrownoreveal1’s situation could have been different if societal norms around pregnancy were more centered on shared responsibility rather than solely on the expectant mother. Perhaps it’s time for society to redefine what it means to be a supportive partner during pregnancy – starting from attending prenatal appointments to being present in every step of the journey towards parenthood.

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Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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