People who talk behind your back but are friendly to your face usually display these 7 specific traits

It’s a hard pill to swallow, but there are people who smile at you and yet talk behind your back.

This duplicity can be confusing, and it’s vital to recognize these two-faced individuals for what they are.

Knowing these 7 specific traits can help you spot them. With this knowledge, you can guard yourself without resorting to their underhanded tactics.

Let’s dive in. Here’s a closer look at those who are friendly to your face but become a different person when you’re not around.

1) They’re masters of flattery

You’ve heard the saying, “flattery will get you everywhere.”

Well, people who talk behind your back but are friendly to your face have this down to an art. They know exactly what to say to make you feel good about yourself. And they’re not shy about laying it on thick.

But here’s the catch – their compliments often feel insincere.

Why? Because these individuals usually use flattery as a tool for their own gain. They ‘butter you up’ so you let your guard down, making it easier for them to manipulate you or work in their favour.

When someone showers you with compliments, ask yourself if they truly mean it or are simply trying to win you over. It’s a subtle trait, but recognizing it can save you from a lot of heartaches.

2) Their stories often change

I’ll never forget a former co-worker of mine. Let’s call him John.

John was always charming, always pleasant. He’d join us for lunch, share a laugh, and add to the camaraderie. But there was something off that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

Then one day, it hit me. John’s stories were always changing. He’d tell one version of a story to one person, and then an entirely different version to someone else.

For instance, he once told me about a presentation he’d aced, making it sound as if he was the sole contributor. But when I heard him tell another colleague, it suddenly became a team effort.

That’s when I realized John was more interested in creating a favorable image of himself than being honest. It was a clear sign that he was not as genuine as he appeared to be.

If you notice someone constantly adjusting their narrative depending on who they are talking to, it’s worth being cautious – they may not be as trustworthy as they seem.

3) They love to gossip

People who are friendly to your face but talk behind your back usually have a knack for gossip. They thrive on spreading rumors or sharing intimate details about others.

People who gossip frequently have high levels of aggression and a tendency towards manipulation. They often use gossip as a way to bond with others and create alliances, at the expense of someone else’s reputation.

If you notice someone constantly sharing information that isn’t theirs to share, be careful. You might just be their next topic of conversation when you’re not around.

4) They lack empathy

One of the most telling signs of someone who talks behind your back is their lack of empathy. They have a hard time understanding or sharing the feelings of others.

This lack of empathy is what allows them to say negative things about you without feeling guilty about it. Because they struggle to put themselves in your shoes, they don’t grasp the pain their actions might cause.

If you notice someone frequently dismissing others’ feelings or showing little remorse for their actions, be wary. This could be a sign they’re not as friendly as they appear to be.

5) They avoid conflict

I’ve always been someone who believes in direct communication. If I have a problem with you, I’ll tell you and expect the same in return. But not everyone operates this way.

People who talk behind your back often avoid conflict like the plague. Instead of addressing issues head-on, they prefer to vent their frustrations when you’re not around. This way, they can keep up their friendly facade without having to deal with uncomfortable situations.

If you notice someone always agreeing with you in person but expressing contradictory views when you’re not present, it’s a red flag. They might be avoiding conflict at the expense of your trust.

6) They crave attention

People who talk behind your back, but are friendly to your face, often have a common trait – they crave attention. They love being in the spotlight and will often do anything to stay there.

This need for attention can lead them to create dramas or spread rumors as it puts them at the center of the narrative. They become the go-to person for information, which feeds their ego and gives them a sense of importance.

If you find someone constantly seeking validation or stirring up unnecessary drama, take a step back. It might be their way of securing the limelight at your expense.

7) They struggle with insecurity

At the heart of it all, people who talk behind your back but are friendly to your face often struggle with deep-seated insecurity. They feel threatened by others and use gossip or backstabbing as a defense mechanism.

This insecurity can make them feel like they constantly have to prove their worth or superiority. Unfortunately, this often comes at the expense of others.

Recognizing this trait can help you understand their behavior and protect yourself. Remember, their actions are a reflection of their own insecurities, not a judgment of your worth.

In the end: It’s all about understanding

Peeling back the layers of human behavior can be like navigating a complex labyrinth. But understanding these behavioral traits can help illuminate the path and protect us from those who may cause harm.

Remember, people who talk behind your back but are friendly to your face often do so out of their own insecurities and fears. Their actions are more a reflection of their struggles than of your worth.

The renowned psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “What I am is good enough if I would only be it openly.” Encountering two-faced individuals can be tough, but it underscores the importance of authenticity in our own lives.

So, as you navigate through relationships and interactions, stay vigilant, stay genuine, and most importantly, always stay true to yourself.