People who struggle to accept compliments often possess these 10 traits

There’s a real art to accepting a compliment. For some, it comes naturally. But for others, not so much.

Often, those who struggle with accepting compliments share certain traits. They might brush off the compliment, change the subject quickly, or even downright deny it.

In this article, we’ll be delving into the common characteristics of people who find it challenging to accept compliments.

This is not about pointing fingers or labeling people. It’s about understanding the why behind the struggle.

So, if you’re one of those who squirm at the thought of a compliment coming your way, read on. You might find yourself nodding along to some of these traits.

1) Self-deprecating humor

Ever noticed how some people respond to a compliment with a joke that puts themselves down? That’s self-deprecating humor for you.

People who struggle to accept compliments often use this tactic to deflect praise. It’s like their safety net, a way to respond without having to truly acknowledge the compliment.

While a little self-deprecation can be funny and endearing, too much of it can be a sign of low self-esteem or self-worth.

These individuals might genuinely believe they don’t deserve the praise, so they make light of it instead.

Everyone deserves recognition for their achievements and good qualities, no matter how small. So the next time someone pays you a compliment, try taking it on board rather than making a joke at your own expense.

2) Discomfort with attention

Let me share a personal experience. I used to shy away from compliments because they put me in the spotlight, which was something I always tried to avoid.

If someone complimented my work, I’d quickly brush it off and say, “Oh, it’s nothing, really.” The attention made me uncomfortable and I found it easier to downplay my accomplishments than to accept the praise.

This is common among those who have trouble accepting compliments. They feel uneasy with attention, especially when it’s positive. They may feel undeserving or worry that others will see them as arrogant or full of themselves.

But with time, I learned that accepting compliments gracefully doesn’t mean I’m conceited. It means acknowledging my achievements and the effort it took to get there.

And there’s nothing wrong with that. We all have our strengths and it’s okay to let others recognize them.

3) Fear of high expectations

Did you know that people often reject compliments because they fear it might set high expectations for the future? It’s a psychological phenomenon known as the “Impostor Syndrome“.

Impostor Syndrome is when someone doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent fear of being exposed as a “fraud”. So, when they receive a compliment, they might worry that this raises the bar for their future performance.

They fear that if they accept the praise, they’ll be expected to always perform at that level. And this can be quite daunting.

Understanding this can help us become more comfortable with compliments. After all, a compliment is merely an acknowledgment of a job well done, not an expectation of perfection.

4) Lack of self-confidence

These individuals may question the genuineness of the compliment or believe they don’t deserve it.

They might think, “Why would they say that? I’m not that good.” or “They’re just being nice, I didn’t really do anything special.”

This lack of self-confidence can make it difficult for them to see their own worth and acknowledge their accomplishments.

Everyone has unique skills and talents. So, when someone compliments you, they’re recognizing something special about you. Accepting this praise can be a step towards boosting your self-confidence.

5) Perfectionism

Perfectionists tend to have a specific vision for how things should be. If they feel they haven’t met these high standards, they might struggle to accept compliments on their work or performance.

They might think, “I could’ve done better.” or “It’s not as good as it could’ve been.”, even when others are genuinely impressed with their efforts.

This relentless strive for perfection can make it hard for them to appreciate the positive feedback they receive, as they’re always focusing on what they could improve or do better.

While striving for excellence is admirable, it’s also important to recognize and celebrate our achievements along the way. It’s okay to be proud of our work, even if it’s not ‘perfect’.

6) Deep-seated beliefs from childhood

Sometimes, the struggle to accept compliments stems from deep-seated beliefs formed during childhood.

Perhaps you were told not to “get a big head” when you received praise, or maybe your achievements were often downplayed.

These experiences can lead to a subconscious belief that you’re not deserving of praise, making it hard to accept compliments as an adult.

Everyone is deserving of kindness and recognition. If you find yourself struggling with accepting compliments, it could be helpful to reflect on these underlying beliefs and challenge them.

You are worthy of praise. You are enough, just as you are. And it’s okay to let others recognize that too.

7) Fear of seeming arrogant

I remember a time when I would deflect compliments, not because I didn’t believe them, but because I didn’t want to appear arrogant. I thought that accepting a compliment meant agreeing that I was better than others.

This fear of seeming arrogant or conceited is common among those who struggle to accept compliments. They worry that acknowledging praise might come off as self-centered or pretentious.

But over time, I realized accepting a compliment is not about being superior. It’s an acknowledgment of a job well done. It’s about recognizing your strengths and being grateful for the recognition. And there’s nothing arrogant about that.

8) Desire to remain humble

They strive to stay grounded, down-to-earth, and modest. They worry that accepting praise might make them lose this humility.

But here’s the twist. Accepting a compliment doesn’t mean you’re abandoning humility. In fact, it can be a testament to your humility as it requires acknowledging that you, like everyone else, have strengths and areas of expertise.

Humility isn’t about downplaying your achievements, but about understanding your place in the larger picture. It’s perfectly possible to accept a compliment graciously while still remaining humble.

9) Overthinking the response

Overthinkers, raise your hand! Many of us have been in that situation where we receive a compliment and immediately start analyzing the best way to respond.

Should I just say thank you? Should I return the compliment? What if my response comes off as insincere? The overthinking begins and suddenly, a simple “thank you” seems like the hardest phrase to utter.

This trait is common among those who struggle to accept compliments. The pressure to respond perfectly can cause them to deflect or dismiss the compliment entirely.

There’s no perfect way to respond to a compliment. A simple, sincere “thank you” is often all that’s needed.

10) Difficulty in recognizing their own worth

At the heart of it all, those who struggle to accept compliments often have trouble recognizing their own worth. They may not see the value in their own work, talents, or characteristics that others clearly see.

This can stem from a variety of factors, but it’s crucial to remember that everyone has unique qualities that make them special. When someone compliments you, they’re recognizing these qualities.

So let them. Accept the praise. Believe in your worth. Because you, just as much as anyone else, deserve recognition for your strengths and achievements.

Embracing the journey of self-acceptance

The journey of understanding and embracing our own worth can be a complex one, filled with introspection, growth, and sometimes struggle.

For those who find it hard to accept compliments, these struggles often reflect deeper insecurities or beliefs about themselves.

But it’s essential to remember, these are not negative traits or flaws. They are part of our unique human experience, and they contribute to our growth.

As the late Maya Angelou once said, “We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” Accepting compliments is a part of this transformation – acknowledging our achievements, recognizing our worth, and embracing the beauty within us.

So the next time you receive a compliment, take a moment. Don’t rush to brush it off or downplay it. Embrace it. Let it serve as a reminder of your worth and the journey you’ve been on.

Because you deserve that recognition. And more importantly, you deserve to recognize it within yourself.