People who are deeply selfish usually display these 10 behaviors (without realizing it)

It’s a fine line between looking out for yourself and being selfish. The distinction lies in awareness.

Selfish individuals tend to prioritize their needs, oblivious to the impact on those around them. They’re so focused on what they want, they miss the cues showing how their actions affect others.

Interestingly, some people may not even realize their behavior is selfish. These subtle indicators often slip under the radar.

This article sheds light on 10 behaviors that are tell-tale signs of deep-seated selfishness, even if the person displaying them is completely unaware.

Let’s get started.

1) They often put their needs first

Selfishness is most clearly seen in the prioritization of needs.

People who are deeply selfish often have a ‘me-first’ approach in most situations. Their needs, desires, and wants take center stage, often at the expense of others.

This behavior is not always obvious. It can manifest subtly, like always choosing the restaurant for dinner or deciding the movie for the night without considering others’ preferences.

The ‘me-first’ mentality may seem normal for them and they might not even realize that they are being selfish. But this constant prioritization of self over others is a clear sign of deep-seated selfishness.

While it’s important to care for one’s own needs, the key lies in balance and mutual respect.

2) They struggle with sharing

I’ve noticed that people who are deeply selfish often have a hard time sharing. Whether it’s material possessions, time, or even attention, they seem to struggle with the concept of dividing what they have with others.

Let me tell you about my friend, John. He’s always been the life of the party and a great friend to have around. But there’s one thing that I’ve noticed over the years. Whenever we go out for a meal or a drink, he hardly ever offers to pick up the tab. It’s not about the money, it’s about the act of sharing and reciprocation.

At first, I didn’t think much of it. But over time, I realized that this behavior extended to other areas as well. He rarely shared his things and seemed uncomfortable when asked to do so.

John probably doesn’t realize this about himself, but this reluctance to share is a classic sign of deep-seated selfishness. It’s not about being stingy, but more about having difficulty in putting others’ needs or comfort at par with your own.

3) They have difficulty empathizing

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s what allows us to connect with people on a deeper level.

Those who are deeply selfish often struggle with this. They are so focused on their own world and their needs that they find it challenging to put themselves in someone else’s shoes.

Research in the field of psychology has found a link between selfishness and low levels of empathy. In fact, a study published in the journal ‘Personality and Individual Differences’ found that individuals who score high on narcissism, a trait closely linked with selfishness, often exhibit lower levels of empathy.

This inability to empathize doesn’t only impact their relationships, but can also lead them to make decisions that benefit them at the expense of others, without even realizing it. Empathy is crucial for healthy social interactions and a lack of it can be a clear sign of deep-seated selfishness.

4) They rarely show gratitude

Gratitude is a fundamental part of human interaction. It’s about recognizing the value of what we have and acknowledging the efforts of others.

However, individuals who are deeply selfish often overlook this aspect. They might take things for granted, not realizing or acknowledging the effort or sacrifices others make for them.

For instance, they may not thank someone for a favor, or might fail to appreciate the hard work someone puts into a project. This lack of gratitude is not merely about forgetting to say ‘thank you’. It’s more about an inability to recognize and appreciate the value that others bring into their lives.

This behavior, often unintentional and unrecognized, is a glaring sign of deep-seated selfishness. Appreciation and gratitude are crucial elements of meaningful relationships, and their absence can be quite telling.

5) They monopolize conversations

Ever had a conversation with someone where you couldn’t get a word in? This behavior is common among those who are deeply selfish.

Monopolizing conversations is more than just being talkative. It’s about dominating the conversation to the point where it revolves around them, their experiences, and their viewpoints.

They often interrupt or ignore others when they are speaking, making the conversation one-sided. This is not because they are necessarily mean or rude, but they might be so engrossed in their own world that they fail to realize this.

This lack of conversational give-and-take can leave others feeling unheard and unimportant. It’s a clear indication of deep-seated selfishness, even if the individual isn’t aware of it. Learning to listen is key to creating balanced, meaningful interactions.

6) They seldom apologize

It takes a strong person to admit when they’re wrong and to say, “I’m sorry.” Unfortunately, those who are deeply selfish often find this challenging.

Apologizing requires acknowledging that one’s actions or words may have caused pain or inconvenience to someone else. This requires empathy and the ability to put oneself in another’s shoes – traits that are often lacking in deeply selfish individuals.

They may brush off their mistakes, make excuses, or even blame others instead of taking responsibility for their actions.

This failure to apologize isn’t because they are inherently bad people. Often, they are simply unaware of the impact of their actions on others.

An apology is more than just words. It’s a heartfelt acknowledgment of a mistake and shows respect for the other person’s feelings. The inability to express this simple, yet powerful, sentiment can be a clear sign of deep-seated selfishness.

7) They fail to support others

A crucial part of any relationship is the ability to be there for each other during tough times.

I recall a time when I was going through a difficult phase in my life. I was dealing with a lot of stress and anxiety, and I reached out to a close friend for support. Instead of lending an ear or offering words of comfort, they dismissed my feelings and changed the topic to something else entirely.

This lack of support left me feeling isolated and hurt. It was then that I realized this friend often did this, not just to me but to others as well.

Deeply selfish people often fail to offer support to those around them, usually because they are so caught up in their own world. They may not realize how their lack of support affects others, but it’s a clear sign of deep-seated selfishness.

Being there for each other in times of need is an essential part of any relationship. It’s what strengthens bonds and builds trust.

8) They’re generous for the wrong reasons

Generosity is usually seen as a sign of selflessness. However, when it comes to deeply selfish individuals, their acts of generosity often have an ulterior motive.

They may give generously, but it’s often to gain something in return – maybe a favor, recognition, or to maintain a certain image. Their giving is not out of genuine care or empathy but rather a means to an end.

This doesn’t mean that every act of giving by such individuals is selfish. However, when there’s a consistent pattern of expecting something in return for their generosity, it’s a clear sign of deep-seated selfishness.

9) They’re often unaware of their selfish behavior

Ironically, one of the most common traits of deeply selfish individuals is a lack of self-awareness. They often don’t realize that their actions and behavior are selfish.

They might insist that they’re acting reasonably or even believe that they’re the ones being treated unfairly. This lack of self-awareness prevents them from recognizing their selfish behavior and subsequently, hinders them from making positive changes.

This behavior can be frustrating for those around them, but it’s important to remember that it often comes from a place of ignorance rather than malice.

Increasing self-awareness is an important step in recognizing and addressing deep-seated selfishness. It allows individuals to reflect on their actions and understand how they impact others.

10) They resist change

Change is a part of life. It’s how we grow and learn. However, deeply selfish individuals often resist changes that don’t serve their interests.

Whether it’s a change in routine, a shift in a relationship dynamic, or a new way of doing things at work, they struggle when things don’t revolve around their needs or wants. They may insist on sticking to the status quo because it suits them, even at the expense of others.

This resistance to change is not just about comfort or routine. It’s about an unwillingness to adapt if it doesn’t serve their self-interest.

This behavior can limit their growth and negatively affect their relationships. Embracing change, especially when it benefits others, is a crucial step towards overcoming deep-seated selfishness.