Attraction is a tricky, complex component of a romantic relationship.
It can ebb and flow, wane or surge, and sometimes, unfortunately, it can disappear altogether.
This is an uncomfortable reality that a 30-year-old man on Reddit is currently grappling with.
In a candid and deeply personal post, he confessed that he’s no longer physically attracted to his girlfriend of 10 years due to her declining self-care and hygiene habits.
Despite his immense love for her, he finds himself struggling with the challenge of addressing this sensitive issue without causing further harm.
Man Loses Physical Attraction to Long-Term Girlfriend Due to Her Neglected Self-Care
The 30-year-old, using the pseudonym ‘UnhappyAttraction’, shared a detailed account of his decade-long relationship and the growing challenges that are pushing him to the brink.
He described his girlfriend’s neglect of basic self-care, including personal hygiene and physical health, as a major reason for his waning physical attraction.
“Over the decade we’ve been together, she has really let herself go. She has gained a huge amount of weight and takes less care of herself than ever. Sadly, it’s reached a point where I’m genuinely not physically attracted to her anymore,” he wrote.
His post also revealed that the couple’s sex life had taken a hit as a consequence.
It was clear that his concerns were not superficial but deeply rooted in care for his partner’s wellbeing.
He highlighted his girlfriend’s struggles with mental health, her insecurity about her appearance, and her lack of motivation to improve her lifestyle.
The Redditor expressed his feelings of resentment, regret, and frustration.
He loved his girlfriend deeply, but he was also aware that he was missing out on a healthier relationship with an active sex life.
He was upfront about the reality of their situation: “I feel the resentment building but I don’t know how to approach this issue with her without her getting furious and upset.”
The comments section saw an influx of responses from other Reddit users who offered advice, shared their perspectives, or simply empathized with ‘UnhappyAttraction’.
One user highlighted the importance of equality in a relationship and suggested that if she wasn’t willing to work on herself, their romantic future might be bleak.
Another commenter pointed out that ten years of watching someone neglect their basic hygiene wasn’t kindness but enabling behavior that was hurting both of them.
“You’re treating her like she’s too fragile to handle the truth…Your resentment isn’t about her weight – it’s about watching someone you love choose self-neglect over self-care year after year,” the user wrote, urging ‘UnhappyAttraction’ to be entirely honest in their upcoming counseling session.
Unpacking the complexities of attraction, self-care and mental health in relationships
UnhappyAttraction’s predicament opens up a broader conversation about the multifaceted nature of attraction, self-care, and mental health within relationships.
While physical attraction is only one aspect of a romantic relationship, it can be a vital one for many people.
His struggle with his dwindling attraction towards his girlfriend is, at its core, not about her physical appearance but her consistent neglect of self-care.
This situation sheds light on the importance of good hygiene and general self-care in maintaining not just physical health, but also mental wellbeing.
The girlfriend’s poor self-care routine is indicative of her struggles with mental health.
Mental health issues can often manifest in various ways, including neglecting personal hygiene and physical health, as seen in this case.
The thread also emphasizes the often overlooked aspect of enabling behavior in relationships.
As one user pointed out, “Ten years of watching someone you love neglect their basic hygiene isn’t kindness – it’s enabling behavior that’s hurting both of you.”
It’s a wake-up call for anyone who finds themselves in similar circumstances to recognize this pattern and take necessary steps to break it.
Furthermore, it brings up the question of when to call things off in a relationship.
Should love and emotional connection override physical attraction?
Or should there be an equal balance of emotional and physical attraction for a relationship to work?
These are complex questions that do not have clear-cut answers but are worth reflecting upon.
The thread also underscores the importance of open communication in relationships.
UnhappyAttraction is hesitant to address his concerns directly due to fear of upsetting his girlfriend.
However, as suggested by other Reddit users, honest communication might be the key to resolving their issues.
The fine line between love, attraction and the responsibility of self-care
UnhappyAttraction’s situation offers a hard look at the often unspoken complexities that can plague long-term relationships.
It forces us to confront the uncomfortable truth about physical attraction – that it can indeed fade over time due to factors beyond just aging.
But underneath this predicament lies a deeper issue – the critical importance of self-care and mental health in maintaining not just our individual wellbeing, but also the health of our relationships.
At its core, this narrative teaches us a crucial lesson about the role each partner plays in nurturing not only each other but also themselves.
By neglecting her self-care, UnhappyAttraction’s girlfriend is indirectly neglecting their relationship.
It’s a stark reminder that love is not merely about caring for another person, but also about caring for oneself.
After all, we can only offer to others what we have within ourselves.
So perhaps, it’s not just about finding an answer or a solution to UnhappyAttraction’s predicament.
Instead, it’s about reflecting on our own relationships and asking ourselves: Are we doing enough to care for our own physical and mental wellbeing?
Are we enabling detrimental behavior in the name of love?
And most importantly, are we communicating honestly and openly about our concerns with our partners?
The story of UnhappyAttraction serves as a poignant reminder that maintaining a healthy relationship requires continuous effort, open communication, and mutual care – both for each other and for oneself.
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