As we grow older, surrounding ourselves with people who inspire, uplift, and support us becomes more important than ever.
After all, we’ve all heard that “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
But attracting high-quality relationships isn’t just about finding the right people—it’s about becoming the kind of person they’d want to be around.
And sometimes, that means letting go of habits that may be holding us back without us even realizing it.
Today, we dive into 6 such habits.
1) Resisting change
If there’s one thing that’s certain about life, it’s that it’s constantly changing.
As Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius beautifully put it, “Nature loves nothing so much as to change what it is and to create new things in their likeness.”
Yet, many of us resist change, finding comfort in the familiar.
But here’s the thing, high-quality people are often those who embrace change. They are the ones who are always learning, growing, and evolving. They are not afraid to step outside their comfort zones and explore new opportunities.
If you want to attract these kinds of people into your life, you need to be willing to do the same. This means letting go of the habit of resisting change and instead, welcoming it with open arms.
Change isn’t something to be feared. It’s something to be embraced. It can be challenging, yes, but it is also a chance for growth and improvement. And those are qualities that high-quality people value.
2) Neglecting self-care
I’ve learned this lesson the hard way. A few years ago, I was so caught up in my work and other responsibilities that I completely neglected my own well-being. I didn’t exercise, ate poorly, and barely got any sleep.
My energy levels plummeted, and I became irritable and resentful. Unsurprisingly, this affected the quality of my relationships. People who were positive and ambitious began to distance themselves from me.
Then, I made a conscious decision to prioritize my health and well-being. I started working out regularly, eating healthier, and ensuring that I got enough sleep every night.
The transformation was remarkable. Not only did I feel better physically and mentally, but my relationships improved as well. People noticed the change in me and were drawn to the positivity and energy I was radiating.
The takeaway here? You can’t pour for an empty cup. To show up for others, you must first show up for yourself.
3) Being judgmental
Did you know that judgment often says more about the judge than the judged?
It’s true. When we pass judgment on others, it’s usually a reflection of our own insecurities or shortcomings.
High-quality people understand this. They are open-minded and accepting of differences. They know that everyone has their own journey and that it’s not their place to judge others for their choices or circumstances.
Try to understand and empathize with others. You’ll find that not only will you attract better-quality people, but you’ll also gain a deeper understanding of the world around you.
4) Trying to please everyone
This one might sound out of place here but hear me out.
How often do you find yourself saying “yes” to something you didn’t want to do, just to avoid disappointing someone?
It’s a trap many of us fall into, driven by the desire to be liked or to keep the peace.
However, as the saying goes, “You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time.”
When you try to please everyone, you end up pleasing no one—not even yourself. Overcommitting and constantly seeking approval can leave you exhausted, resentful, and disconnected from your own values and priorities.
The people who truly matter will respect you for setting boundaries and being authentic. Saying “no” doesn’t make you unkind or unworthy—it makes you someone who respects their own time and energy.
By letting go of the need to be everything to everyone, you make space for relationships built on mutual respect, not endless compromise. And in doing so, you’ll find that the right connections tend to flourish naturally.
5) Holding grudges
This is one I know all too well.
A couple of years back, I had a fallout with a close friend. Instead of addressing the issue, I held onto a grudge. It ate away at me, clouding my judgment and affecting my other relationships.
Then one day, I decided to let it go. I reached out, we talked things over, and I felt an immediate sense of relief and freedom. It was then that I realized holding grudges wasn’t doing me any good.
Quality people understand that life is too short for grudges. They value peace over being right and choose forgiveness over resentment. If you want such individuals in your life, learn to let go of grudges. It’s not about forgetting what happened but choosing to forgive and move forward.
6) Gossiping
It might feel harmless—a little venting, a shared laugh at someone else’s expense. But gossiping can erode trust and paint you as someone who thrives on negativity.
When you talk about others behind their backs, it sends a clear message to those around you: they could be next. People become wary, wondering what you might say about them when they’re not in the room.
Instead of engaging in gossip, focus on uplifting conversations. This not only fosters a more positive environment but also shows that you value integrity and respect.
Final thoughts: It’s about choices
Surrounding yourself with inspiring, supportive people isn’t just about luck—it’s about cultivating the habits and mindset that naturally draw them to you.
By letting go of these habits, you’ll not only improve your relationships but also grow into someone who embodies positivity, authenticity, and resilience. And as you evolve, the right people will notice and gravitate toward you.
The quality of your connections is a reflection of the energy you put out into the world. Start making these changes today, and watch how your circle transforms for the better.
Feeling stuck in self-doubt?
Stop trying to fix yourself and start embracing who you are. Join the free 7-day self-discovery challenge and learn how to transform negative emotions into personal growth.
