As we age, respect is something we often expect to come naturally with the territory.
But the truth is, respect isn’t an automatic byproduct of aging—it’s earned through character, actions, and, perhaps most importantly, our habits.
Over the years, I’ve noticed that certain habits can erode respect rather than build it. At first glance, they might seem trivial or insignificant. Yet, over time, they can shape how others see us and influence our relationships.
So if you’re looking to command more respect as you get older, it might be time to reassess your habits. Here are seven habits you may need to bid farewell to.
1) Reacting instead of responding
As we age, we gather a wealth of experiences and wisdom. Yet, it’s easy to fall into the trap of reacting impulsively to situations, rather than thoughtfully responding.
Reacting often comes from a place of habit or emotion. It’s quick and instinctive — but not always respectful or considered.
On the other hand, responding requires us to engage our knowledge, experience, and wisdom. It means taking a moment to understand the situation, consider the implications, and make decisions with intention.
I’ve learned that respect is built on thoughtful interactions. When we respond instead of react, we create space for empathy, understanding, and mutual respect. We show that we value the perspectives of others as much as our own.
So the next time you find yourself ready to react, take a pause. Invite yourself to respond with thoughtfulness and intention instead. This simple shift can significantly affect how you’re perceived and respected as you get older.
Own your actions. Be deliberate. Respond, don’t react.
2) Holding onto old grudges
We’ve all been wronged at some point in our lives. It’s a universal human experience. But harboring resentment and holding onto old grudges does more harm than good – it creates barriers and fosters negativity.
I’ve found that letting go of past hurts isn’t about forgetting or excusing the actions of others, but about choosing my own peace of mind over dwelling on the past.
When we hold grudges, we give others power over our emotional wellbeing. But when we forgive, we reclaim that power and demonstrate a maturity that commands respect.
So let go of your grudges. Choose peace over resentment. It’s a decision that commands respect as you get older.
3) Living by societal conditioning instead of embracing authenticity
As we get older, it’s easy to get stuck in patterns and societal expectations. However, these often hinder us from living with authenticity and freedom.
I’ve been on a journey to break free from this conditioning and one of the most transformative experiences I’ve had is the “Free Your Mind” masterclass with the shaman Rudá Iandê.
It’s a journey that dismantles common myths and helps you overcome self-imposed limitations.
Rudá Iandê guides you towards aligning your actions with your personal values, leading to not just mental clarity but also commanding respect from others.
The masterclass offers a proactive approach towards personal growth and deep self-understanding.
If you’re looking to embrace your true nature and want to break free from societal conditioning, this masterclass is a profound way to start.
Don’t let societal expectations define you. Embrace authenticity. Start your journey towards mental and emotional liberation today with the “Free Your Mind” masterclass.
4) Prioritizing social acceptance over personal truth
Following on from that, let’s talk about social acceptance.
It’s human nature to want to fit in. But sometimes, our desire for social acceptance can overshadow our personal truth. We may find ourselves conforming to societal norms or expectations, compromising our authenticity.
What I’ve learned is that bending to fit others’ expectations often leads to a loss of self-respect. It’s when we stand firm in our truth, even if it goes against the grain, that we truly command respect.
The raw and honest fact is this: living your truth might not always win you popularity. But it will win you respect – from yourself and from those around you who value authenticity over pretense.
Are you living according to your personal truth or are you bending to fit the expectations of others?
5) Avoiding failure instead of embracing it
In our society, failure often carries a negative connotation. It’s seen as something to avoid, an indicator of weakness or incompetence. But in my experience, the opposite is true.
Every setback, every failure, is an opportunity for growth and learning. Instead of seeing it as a sign of defeat, view it as an invitation to adapt, evolve, and tap into your creative potential.
When we embrace failure as part of our journey, we demonstrate resilience and strength that command respect.
Remember: Failure isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s proof that you’re pushing your boundaries and growing. Embrace it.
6) Not setting or enforcing boundaries
Boundaries are essential for self-respect—and for earning the respect of others. When you don’t set clear boundaries, people may unintentionally (or intentionally) take advantage of your time, energy, and kindness.
This can leave you feeling drained, frustrated, and even resentful.
Let’s be clear — boundaries aren’t about pushing people away; they’re about showing others how you want to be treated.
To gain respect, you need to stand firm and consistent with what you’re willing to accept.
It might feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you’re used to saying yes to keep the peace.
But setting and enforcing boundaries is actually a sign of strength and self-awareness. It helps you build healthier relationships based on mutual respect and understanding.
The more you practice, the easier it becomes. Start small—say no when something doesn’t align with your priorities or politely correct someone if they overstep.
Over time, people will begin to respect your limits, and you’ll feel more confident asserting them.
7) Speaking negatively about yourself
Finally, the way you talk about yourself sends a powerful message—not just to others, but to you, too.
When you constantly make self-deprecating comments or point out your flaws, you’re inviting others to see you the same way. It can create an impression that you lack confidence or self-worth, even if you don’t mean for it to.
Speaking negatively about yourself might feel harmless, especially if you use humor to soften the blow.
But over time, those words can shape how you see yourself and how others perceive you. It can also lead people to assume it’s okay to join in or dismiss your accomplishments because you’re not valuing them yourself.
If you want to command respect, it starts with respecting yourself.
This doesn’t mean pretending to be perfect—it means speaking about yourself in a way that reflects your strengths, growth, and potential.
Instead of focusing on what you think you lack, highlight what you’re proud of or working toward.
Start by catching yourself when you make negative comments, and reframe them into something more positive or constructive.
For example, instead of saying, “I’m so bad at this,” try, “I’m learning, and I’ll get better.”
The way you talk about yourself sets the tone for how others will treat you—so make it count.
Wrapping up
Respect isn’t something you demand—it’s something you earn through your actions, choices, and the way you treat yourself and others.
Letting go of habits that undermine your confidence and boundaries is a powerful step toward commanding the respect you deserve.
Whether it’s learning to set limits, speaking kindly about yourself, or embracing personal growth, every small change adds up to a big difference.
The key is to be intentional. Reflect on the habits that may be holding you back and take steps to replace them with behaviors that align with your values.
Respect starts with self-awareness and self-respect, and it radiates outward into your relationships and interactions.
For those eager to dive deeper into these concepts, I recommend the free “Free Your Mind” masterclass with Rudá Iandê.
This masterclass provides tools for true spiritual liberation and helps to dismantle limiting beliefs and societal conditioning.
In this masterclass, Rudá Iandê guides you towards aligning your actions with your personal values for improved mental clarity and emotional resilience.
It encourages proactive steps towards personal growth and a deeper understanding of oneself.
As we journey through life, remember: commanding respect isn’t about asserting dominance or control. It’s about living with authenticity, integrity, and empathy.
Join the “Free Your Mind” masterclass today and start your journey towards a more respectful and fulfilling life.
Feeling stuck in self-doubt?
Stop trying to fix yourself and start embracing who you are. Join the free 7-day self-discovery challenge and learn how to transform negative emotions into personal growth.
