Self-worth isn’t something you’re born with—it’s something you build over time.
But here’s the tricky part: while life experiences can teach you valuable lessons, they can also leave you with habits that quietly chip away at your self-esteem.
The good news? You can unlearn those behaviors and replace them with ones that strengthen your sense of self.
If you’re ready to feel more secure in who you are—especially as you get older—it’s time to take a hard look at the habits that are holding you back.
Here are eight behaviors to say goodbye to if you want to build your self-worth and finally step into the version of yourself you were meant to be:
1) Seeking approval
As we age, the urge to seek validation from others can be a hard habit to break.
We often feel the need to get approval from those around us, whether it’s about our appearance, our career choices, or our lifestyle.
It’s a natural human tendency to want to be accepted and liked.
However, this constant search for external validation can become a drain on our self-worth.
It’s time to stop looking outside for reassurance and start validating ourselves.
Remember, the most important person whose approval you need is your own.
The minute you stop seeking validation from others, you start building your self-worth.
It’s okay to value the opinions of others but don’t let their views define your self-worth.
This is your journey, and you are the one in control.
2) Comparing yourself to others
This is a behavior I’ve learned to let go of myself.
There was a time when I’d find myself constantly comparing my life to those of my peers.
I’d look at their successful careers, their happy families, or their extravagant vacations and feel like I was falling behind.
This comparison game became a massive roadblock in my path to self-worth.
It left me feeling inadequate and unhappy, even when I had so much to be grateful for.
Then, one day, I realized that everyone is on a unique journey.
We all have different paths with various ups and downs.
The only fair comparison is the one with our past selves.
When I stopped comparing myself to others and started focusing on my personal growth, I could see a significant boost in my self-worth.
So, if you’re trying to improve your self-esteem as you age, it’s time to stop the comparisons.
Remember, your journey is unique to you—embrace it!
3) Dwelling on past mistakes
Letting go of past mistakes is crucial in building self-worth.
We all make mistakes; it’s a part of being human.
However, continuously dwelling on them can lead to feelings of guilt and regret.
Interestingly, research shows that people who practice self-compassion are likely to feel more satisfied with their lives and have fewer symptoms of depression.
So, instead of ruminating over past errors, use them as learning experiences.
Each mistake is an opportunity to grow and improve.
By doing this, you are not only contributing to your personal development, but you are also enhancing your self-worth.
4) Holding on to ego
In our journey towards building self-worth, one major hurdle we often face is our own ego.
We truly can be our own worst enemy.
Ego can make us defensive, resistant to change, and unable to accept our flaws.
It can prevent us from growing and learning from our mistakes.
In Buddhism, the concept of “Anatta” or “no-self” teaches us that there is no unchanging, permanent self, soul, or essence in living beings.
It encourages us to shed our ego and embrace our ever-changing nature.
Letting go of ego means accepting that we are not defined by our past achievements or failures but by who we choose to be right now.
In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego“, I delve deeper into this concept and provide practical exercises to help you let go of your ego.
This can be a vital step towards cultivating a healthier sense of self-worth.
So if you’re seeking to build up your self-worth as you get older, it’s time to say goodbye to your ego.
Start embracing the fluidity of your identity and the beauty of continual growth.
5) Neglecting self-care
There was a time in my life when I was so caught up with work, deadlines, and obligations that I completely ignored self-care.
My health started to deteriorate, I was constantly stressed, and my self-worth hit rock bottom.
Self-care is not just about pampering yourself; it’s about acknowledging your needs and giving yourself permission to meet them.
It’s about taking care of your physical, mental, and emotional health.
When I finally decided to prioritize self-care, everything changed. I felt healthier, happier, and my self-worth improved significantly.
The truth is, self-care is intrinsically linked with self-worth, self-esteem, and self-confidence.
Remember, you cannot pour from an empty cup.
Take care of yourself first, and everything else will fall into place.
6) Always saying “yes”
It might seem counter-intuitive, but always agreeing to help or please others can actually erode your self-worth.
While it’s wonderful to be helpful and kind, it’s equally important to set boundaries and understand your limits.
Continually saying “yes” can lead to burnout, stress, and feelings of resentment.
The key is to find a balance.
It’s okay to say “no” when you’re feeling overwhelmed or when something doesn’t align with your priorities or values.
Learning to say “no” can empower you, give you a sense of control, and ultimately boost your self-worth.
7) Fear of failure
Fear of failure can be a significant hindrance in building self-worth.
It can prevent us from taking risks or trying new things, and it can keep us stuck in our comfort zones.
However, failure is an essential part of growth and learning.
Each failure brings us one step closer to success.
It teaches us resilience, perseverance, and the ability to bounce back.
Embracing failure and viewing it as a learning opportunity rather than a setback can significantly boost your self-worth.
After all, there’s no success without failure.
As Mark Zuckerberg says, “The biggest risk is not taking any risk. In a world that changing really quickly, the only strategy that is guaranteed to fail is not taking risks.”
8) Living inauthentically
The most important thing to remember is that living authentically is key in building self-worth.
Pretending to be someone you’re not or trying to fit into societal norms and expectations can erode your sense of self.
Being true to yourself, embracing your uniqueness, and living according to your values and beliefs is the cornerstone of self-worth.
So, if you’re looking to build up your self-worth as you get older, it’s time to say goodbye to living inauthentically.
Be proud of who you are and live your truth.
A journey towards self
Improving our self-worth is a deeply personal journey, often intertwined with our mindset and actions.
Each behavior we discussed holds the potential to affect your sense of self-worth, either positively or negatively.
The key lies in recognizing these behaviors and making conscious choices to let go of those that no longer serve you.
In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego“, I explore the concept of letting go and embracing change.
This understanding could be instrumental in your journey towards better self-worth.
As you age, remember that your worth isn’t determined by external factors but by how you perceive and treat yourself.
Embrace authenticity, let go of self-doubt, fear of failure, and the need for external validation.
Self-worth isn’t a destination but a journey—a continuous process of self-discovery and self-improvement.
And it’s never too late to embark on this transformative journey!
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