If you want to be respected by other people, never talk about these 10 things

Earning respect is a lot like gaining trust – it isn’t given freely, it’s earned. And part of earning that respect involves being mindful of what you say.

There’s a fine line between sharing your thoughts and overstepping boundaries. It’s crucial to remember that some topics can tarnish your image, no matter how well-intentioned you may be.

If you want to win respect, there are certain things you should never talk about. In this article, we will explore these 10 topics that can make the difference between being respected or not. It’s time to filter your words and hold the respect of others.

Let’s dive in.

1) Other people’s flaws

We’ve all been there – engaged in a casual conversation, and before we know it, we’re discussing someone else’s shortcomings. It seems harmless, right? Well, not quite.

Highlighting other people’s flaws is a dangerous game. It’s like walking on thin ice – you never know when it might crack. Not only does it reflect poorly on your character, but it also makes people wary of you. After all, if you’re quick to point out others’ faults, who’s to say you won’t do the same when they’re not around?

Respect is often earned through trust, and trust is easily broken when we speak ill of others. So if you wish to command respect, be mindful of your conversation topics. Avoid discussing other people’s flaws and instead focus on their strengths and positive qualities.

2) Your wealth

I remember a time when I was invited to a gathering with some old friends. There was one person, let’s call him John, who had recently come into a lot of money. And he made sure everyone knew about it.

At first, John’s stories about his new car and luxurious vacations were entertaining. But as the evening wore on, they started to feel excessive and boastful. It was clear that John was trying to impress us with his wealth, but instead of admiration, he earned our discomfort.

Talking about your wealth, especially in a bragging manner, can come across as pretentious and arrogant. It creates a divide between you and others and can make people feel uncomfortable or inadequate.

3) Controversial opinions

People who air their controversial opinions are often perceived as less likable and less competent.

Discussing polarizing topics like politics or religion can be a risky venture. It’s no secret that these subjects can ignite strong emotions and heated debates. While it’s important to have your convictions, voicing them without considering the potential fallout can cost you respect.

Respect isn’t about agreeing on everything. Rather, it’s about maintaining a level of decorum and understanding in discussions, even when opinions differ. So next time you’re tempted to voice a controversial opinion, consider if it’s worth the potential backlash.

4) Gossip

There’s a saying that goes, “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” Gossip can be incredibly destructive and is often a clear indication of small-mindedness.

Engaging in gossip might seem like an easy way to bond with others, but in reality, it corrodes trust. If you’re known for spreading rumors or discussing others’ personal affairs, it can lead people to question your integrity.

To cultivate respect, aim to be someone who contributes positively to conversations. Discuss ideas, share experiences, but avoid gossip. It might seem harmless at first, but it’s a slippery slope that can quickly erode the respect others have for you.

5) Personal failures

We all have a past sprinkled with successes and failures. However, constantly bringing up your personal failures can make you seem perpetually stuck in the past, and that’s not a great look.

While it’s important to acknowledge and learn from our mistakes, dwelling on them or using them as a crutch can paint a picture of someone who’s unable to move forward. It also invites unnecessary pity and can diminish how people perceive your capabilities.

If you want to command respect, focus on your growth and the lessons you’ve learned from your failures, rather than the failures themselves. Show others that you are forward-thinking and resilient, someone who learns from the past but doesn’t let it dictate their future.

6) Negative self-talk

If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s the power of our words – not just on others, but on ourselves as well. Negative self-talk can be a silent killer of confidence and respect.

You might think you’re being modest or realistic by downplaying your abilities or achievements. But in truth, you’re only undermining yourself. Continually vocalizing your insecurities or self-doubt sends a message that you don’t respect yourself, which makes it hard for others to respect you.

We teach others how to treat us by how we treat ourselves. Be kind to yourself. Speak positively about your abilities and accomplishments. Show yourself the respect you deserve, and others will follow suit.

7) Unfulfilled promises

I once made a promise to a close friend that I would be there for her big day. Due to unforeseen circumstances, I couldn’t make it. The disappointment in her voice still rings in my ears.

Promises are powerful. They’re a verbal contract of trust and reliability. When you talk about promises you’ve failed to keep, it can make you seem unreliable or untrustworthy.

People respect those who stand by their word. If you want to be respected, avoid making promises you can’t keep and don’t dwell on the ones you’ve broken in the past. Instead, focus on showing through your actions that you are someone others can count on.

8) Constant apologies

It might seem like a sign of politeness or humility, but over-apologizing can actually work against you. “Sorry” is a powerful word when used appropriately, but when overused, it loses its meaning and can make you appear weak or insecure.

Apologizing for things outside of your control or for simply existing sends the wrong message. It can make people perceive you as someone who lacks self-confidence and is overly eager to please.

If you want to be respected, use apologies sparingly and only when genuinely necessary. Stand by your actions, and don’t apologize for being yourself. Remember, respect goes hand in hand with confidence and authenticity.

9) The past

We all have a history, and it’s part of what makes us who we are today. However, consistently talking about the past, especially past wrongs or grudges, can make you seem stuck and unable to move on.

Harboring old grudges or constantly revisiting past events paints a picture of someone who is unable to let go and embrace the present. It can also create an uncomfortable atmosphere for those around you.

If you want to be respected by others, it’s important to show that you are forward-thinking and focused on the present and future. Of course, your past has shaped you, but it doesn’t define you. Show people that you’ve grown from your experiences and are ready for what’s next.

10) Other people’s secrets

Trust is one of the pillars of respect. And nothing breaks trust quicker than betraying someone’s secrets. Whether it’s a friend’s personal matter, a colleague’s work issue, or a family member’s private affairs, these are not your stories to tell.

Revealing other people’s secrets not only destroys their trust in you but also raises red flags for others about your reliability and discretion.

If you want to be respected, honor the trust that others have placed in you and keep their secrets safe. It’s not just about respecting their privacy – it’s also about respecting your own integrity.

Respect: The cornerstone of relationships

At the heart of every strong and healthy relationship, you’ll find a foundation of respect. Whether it’s between friends, family members, or colleagues, respect is what binds us together.

Learning to communicate effectively is not just about what you say; it’s also about knowing what not to say. Understanding this subtle but crucial difference can be the key to earning and maintaining the respect of those around you.

The philosopher Socrates once said, “Regard your good name as the richest jewel you can possibly be possessed of.” In essence, your reputation is invaluable, and the words you choose play a significant role in shaping it.

So next time you engage in a conversation, remember the ten things we’ve discussed. Be mindful of your words, for they have the power to build or break your reputation. And in the grand scheme of things, it is respect that truly defines us in our personal and professional spheres.

Reflect on this, and may your conversations always be a source of respect and understanding.