If you want to be more of a leader in life as you get older, say goodbye to these 7 behaviors

Leadership isn’t about titles or positions—it’s about influence, integrity, and the ability to inspire others.

As we get older, life presents more opportunities to step into leadership roles, whether in our careers, communities, or personal relationships.

But becoming a true leader often requires unlearning certain habits that hold us back from reaching our full potential.

The truth is, being a leader isn’t just about what you do—it’s about who you are. It’s about cultivating the confidence to take initiative, the wisdom to guide others, and the self-awareness to lead with authenticity.

If you want to embrace your leadership potential, it’s time to say goodbye to these seven behaviors that might be keeping you from becoming the leader you’re meant to be.

1) Holding onto past mistakes

Let’s start with one of the big ones: holding onto past mistakes. It’s a habit a lot of us have, and frankly, it’s a tough one to shake.

We all mess up. We all have that one decision, or maybe a handful, that we wish we could take back. But here’s the thing: dwelling on past mistakes isn’t going to change them.

In fact, it’s more likely to hold you back. It makes you second-guess yourself, doubt your abilities, and hesitate when you should be taking decisive action.

Growing into a leader means learning from your mistakes, not living in them. It means using them as stepping stones towards becoming the person you want to be.

If you’re still holding onto past errors like they’re prized possessions, it’s time to let them go. They’re not badges of honor or shameful secrets; they’re lessons, plain and simple.

Learn from them, grow from them, but don’t let them define you. Your past is not your present, and it certainly doesn’t have to dictate your future.

2) Fearing failure

Naturally, if we’re scared of our past mistakes, we’re probably scared of making new ones. That’s right, I’m talking about the fear of failure.

I remember when I was up for a promotion at my old job. The stakes were high, the competition was fierce, and I was terrified of failing. But instead of letting that fear paralyze me, I used it to fuel my determination.

Failure is not the end of the world. It’s a bump in the road, a detour on your journey, but it’s not a dead end. In fact, some of the greatest lessons I’ve learned in life came from my failures, not my successes.

As a leader, you need to embrace failure as part of the process. It’s inevitable. You’re going to make mistakes, and that’s okay. What matters is how you react to them.

Do you crumble under the weight of a setback, or do you rise above it and find a way to move forward?

It’s time to say goodbye to fearing failure. Recognize it for what it is: an opportunity for growth and learning.

3) Avoiding risks

Mark Zuckerberg once famously said, “The biggest risk is not taking any risk. In a world that is changing really quickly, the only strategy that is guaranteed to fail is not taking risks.”

Now, I’m not suggesting you throw caution to the wind and make reckless decisions. But there’s a certain paralyzing fear that can come with the prospect of taking a risk, a fear that can stop you dead in your tracks.

As we grow older, and hopefully wiser, we tend to play it safe. We’ve got more to lose, after all. But this isn’t about gambling with your life savings or making rash decisions. It’s about being open to new opportunities and experiences, even if they’re outside your comfort zone.

Leadership requires courage and often means taking calculated risks. It means stepping up when others step back. It means daring to be different, to challenge the status quo, and to stand up for what you believe in.

If you’re constantly avoiding risks out of fear of failure or rejection, it’s time to rethink your approach. Embrace the uncertainty and see where it leads you.

4) Ignoring feedback

According to a study by Harvard Business Review, 92% of respondents agreed that negative feedback, if delivered appropriately, is effective at improving performance.

Yet, so many of us have a habit of turning a deaf ear to criticism.

We all like to hear good things about ourselves – it’s human nature. But when it comes to constructive criticism, we suddenly develop selective hearing. It’s time to change that.

If you want to be a good leader, it’s crucial to embrace feedback, both positive and negative. It’s how we grow, how we learn what we’re doing right, and what needs improvement.

5) Being a perfectionist

Perfectionism. It sounds like a good thing, doesn’t it? Always striving for the best, never settling for anything less.

But the reality is, perfectionism can be a trap. A never-ending cycle of setting unrealistically high standards and then beating yourself up when you don’t meet them.

Here’s the thing about leadership: it’s messy. It’s full of ups and downs, twists and turns, successes and failures. If you’re constantly striving for perfection, you’re setting yourself up for constant disappointment.

Even when you’re a leader, you’re going to make mistakes. You’re going to have off days. You’re going to face challenges that test your patience and push your boundaries. And that’s okay.

What matters isn’t that you do everything perfectly, but that you’re willing to keep learning and growing, no matter what comes your way.

So if you’re a perfectionist, it’s time to let go of the idea that everything has to be just so. Embrace the messiness of life and leadership, and remember that progress, not perfection, is the goal.

6) Playing the blame game

We’ve all been there. Something goes wrong and the first instinct is to find someone or something to blame. It’s easier to point fingers and shift responsibility than to accept that we might have had a hand in the mess.

But here’s the harsh truth: playing the blame game gets us nowhere. It doesn’t solve the problem, it doesn’t help us learn, and it certainly doesn’t make us better leaders.

True leadership means taking responsibility when things go wrong, even if it’s not entirely your fault. It means stepping up and owning your part in the situation, rather than shirking responsibility and pointing fingers.

As Jack Zenger writes in Forbes, “accepting full responsibility for the performance of the work unit” is what truly distinguishes a leader from the rest.

Nobody likes to admit they were wrong or made a mistake, but it’s a crucial part of growth and leadership. By taking ownership of your actions and their consequences, you’re showing integrity and maturity – two qualities every great leader possesses.

So next time things go awry, resist the urge to play the blame game. Instead, take a step back, assess the situation, and ask yourself: “What could I have done differently?”

7) Undervaluing yourself

Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, stop undervaluing yourself.

Many of us have this innate tendency to downplay our accomplishments and dismiss our successes. We tend to focus on our failures and overlook our victories, no matter how small they might be.

But as a leader, it’s crucial to recognize your worth and believe in your abilities. If you constantly undervalue yourself, how can you expect others to see your worth?

This doesn’t mean becoming arrogant or overconfident. It means acknowledging your strengths, celebrating your achievements, and recognizing that you are capable of great things.

Remember, leadership isn’t just about guiding others; it’s also about inspiring them. And to do that, you need to believe in yourself first.

So start giving yourself the credit you deserve. Celebrate your victories, learn from your failures, and never underestimate what you’re capable of.