Being genuine is about speaking your mind, aligning your words with your actions, and—more importantly—shedding behaviors that prevent you from being your authentic self.
Authenticity begins with letting go of the habits that mask your true self.
It’s a journey that’s not always easy but the payoff—being real, being you—is worth it.
If you’re striving to be more genuine and real, it’s time to say goodbye to these seven subtle behaviors that may be holding you back.
Trust me, it’s a game changer:
1) Constantly seeking approval
One of the most common roadblocks to authenticity is an excessive need for validation.
How many times have you found yourself modifying your behavior, or even your beliefs, just to gain acceptance from others? I know I have.
This can stem from various sources—societal norms, peer pressure, or even our upbringing.
While it’s natural to seek approval, when it becomes a compulsion, it hinders our ability to be true to ourselves.
Being real means standing by your convictions, even if they aren’t popular or mainstream.
It’s about expressing your true self, without the fear of judgment or rejection.
The next time you find yourself seeking validation, pause and reflect: Are you being true to yourself, or are you simply trying to fit in?
2) Hiding behind a mask
If there’s one behavior I’ve struggled with personally, it’s hiding my true self.
I used to be the sort of person who would put on a different mask for every occasion: Work, friends, family—you name it, I had a persona for it.
It was exhausting and quite lonely, and I was so busy trying to be what I thought others wanted me to be that I lost sight of who I really was.
One day, I caught myself laughing at a joke that I didn’t find funny at all.
It was a small thing, but it hit me hard—I realized I was pretending to be someone I wasn’t, just to fit in.
That’s when I made a conscious decision to remove my masks and start showing up as my authentic self.
It was scary at first, but it was also liberating.
Now, I’m not suggesting you bare your soul to everyone you meet but don’t be afraid to let people see the real you—quirks, passions, opinions and all.
3) Overcompensating for insecurities
Insecurity can often lead us to behave in ways that are far from our true selves.
Think about the peacock, one of nature’s most vibrant creatures.
Did you know that the male peacock’s extravagant plumage is actually a compensation mechanism?
It’s a dazzling display designed to compensate for their inability to physically fight off rivals, instead they use their trains (feathered tails) to attract female peacocks.
Similarly, when we’re feeling insecure, we often overcompensate by exaggerating certain aspects of our personalities.
Maybe we talk louder, act tougher, or pretend to be more confident than we actually feel.
This behavior can create a facade that hides our true selves.
Over time, it can even lead us to forget who we really are underneath the pretense.
Embracing your insecurities instead of hiding from them is a crucial step towards living authentically.
4) Avoiding difficult conversations
Let’s face it, difficult conversations aren’t fun—they’re uncomfortable, they can get messy, and they often bring up emotions we’d rather not deal with.
But here’s the truth: Avoiding these conversations isn’t doing you any favors.
When we sidestep hard discussions, we’re not just dodging discomfort.
We’re also missing out on opportunities to be authentic, to express our real feelings and stand up for what we believe in.
Whether it’s addressing a conflict, voicing an unpopular opinion, or expressing a need, engaging in these tough talks is a fundamental part of being true to ourselves.
Authenticity isn’t about taking the easy route, rather it’s about facing challenges head-on—with honesty and courage.
5) Comparing yourself to others
I’ve spent a good part of my life falling into the comparison trap.
Social media didn’t help as I would scroll through my feed, looking at picture-perfect lives and success stories, and I’d feel like I was coming up short.
This constant comparison made me question my worth and my achievements—it made me feel like I wasn’t enough, just as I was.
Comparison is the thief of joy and, more importantly, it’s a barrier to authenticity.
When we’re busy comparing ourselves to others, we’re not focusing on our unique journey—we’re not appreciating our own progress, values, or self-worth.
If you want to be more authentic, stop the comparisons and focus on your path; your growth and your happiness, in the end, are what truly matters.
6) Ignoring your intuition
We all have an inner voice, a gut feeling, that guides us in our decision-making.
However, many of us tend to ignore it, often to our own detriment.
Our intuition is a powerful tool as it’s our subconscious mind drawing on past experiences and knowledge to make snap decisions—it’s our personal compass, guiding us towards what feels right.
Ignoring your intuition means disregarding a part of who you are.
It’s like turning off a guiding light that can lead you to authenticity.
The next time you’re faced with a decision, big or small, take a moment to listen to your gut.
7) Fearing vulnerability
Vulnerability is the heart of authenticity.
It’s about showing up and letting ourselves be seen, just as we are—flaws and all.
We often fear vulnerability because it exposes us to potential criticism or rejection but, when we dare to be vulnerable, we give ourselves the freedom to be genuine, to connect deeply with others, and to live authentically.
There’s strength in vulnerability; it’s the courage to show up, unguarded, and say, “This is me.”
Embracing the journey
The journey to authenticity is personal and transformative—about embracing your true self, letting go of masks, and standing in your truth.
Authenticity isn’t a final destination but an ongoing process of aligning your actions with your core values and beliefs.
As the renowned author and speaker Brené Brown once said, “Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.”
As you journey toward authenticity, remember this: choose to show up, be real, and let your true self shine.
Every step you take, no matter how small, is progress in the right direction!
Feeling stuck in self-doubt?
Stop trying to fix yourself and start embracing who you are. Join the free 7-day self-discovery challenge and learn how to transform negative emotions into personal growth.
