If you want people to trust you when you first meet them, say goodbye to these 8 behaviors

Meeting new people can be a tricky game.

You might think you’re making all the right moves, giving off the vibes of a perfectly trustworthy person. But sometimes, despite your best efforts, it’s just not clicking.

It’s not always about grand gestures or monumental screw-ups. Sometimes, it’s the subtle things, those tiny habits you don’t even realize you’re doing that are sabotaging your efforts.

And it’s not like your intentions aren’t pure. You genuinely want to come across as someone others can trust. But there’s this nagging feeling that something is off.

The truth is, there are certain behaviors that can be undermining your chances of being perceived as trustworthy right from the get-go, no matter how genuine or well-meaning you are.

Here are the 8 behaviors you need to let go of if you want people to trust you when they first meet you. These are the little things that can make a big difference.

1) Dominating the conversation

Trust isn’t built in monologues, it’s built in dialogues.

We’ve all met those people who just love to talk about themselves. From their latest achievements to their holiday plans, they’ll pour out every detail without even pausing for breath.

You might think you’re impressing others with your stories and experiences, but in reality, you’re probably just pushing them away.

People want to feel heard, they want to feel valued. If you keep dominating conversations, you’re robbing them of this opportunity.

Trust is a two-way street. If you want people to trust you when they meet you for the first time, make sure you’re giving them an equal chance to express themselves. Before sharing your world, show some interest in theirs.

This isn’t just about being polite or courteous. This is about creating a genuine connection, establishing a relationship based on mutual respect and understanding.

Remember, people are more likely to trust someone who makes them feel seen and heard than someone who only talks about themselves.

So next time you meet someone new, take a step back and let them share their story too. This small change in behavior can make a big difference in how others perceive and trust you.

2) Ignoring body language

It’s not just about the words you say, but also how you say them and the non-verbal cues you’re giving off.

I once met a woman at a networking event. She seemed interested in what I was saying, but her body language told a different story.

Her arms were crossed, she kept glancing at her watch and her feet were pointed towards the exit.

Despite her polite nodding and occasional “Hmm, interesting”, I couldn’t shake off the feeling that she wasn’t really interested in what I had to say.

It was a tough pill to swallow. But it taught me a valuable lesson about how our body language can betray us even when we think we’re being engaging.

If you want to be seen as trustworthy, your body language needs to match your words. Uncross those arms, maintain eye contact, and position your body towards the person you’re conversing with.

It’s about showing genuine interest and respect for the other person. They need to feel that they’re not just another face in the crowd, but someone worthy of your attention and time.

And trust me, this simple adjustment can make all the difference.

3) Breaking promises

As Benjamin Franklin once said, “Well done is better than well said.” This is especially true when it comes to building trust.

We’ve all had those moments where we’ve made a promise with the best of intentions but failed to follow through.

Sometimes, it’s as simple as forgetting to return a borrowed book or not showing up to a meet-up you agreed to attend.

But these small broken promises can add up, painting a picture of someone who can’t be relied on. And once that image takes hold, it’s difficult to erase.

If you’re trying to establish trust, remember that your actions speak louder than your words. Don’t make promises you can’t keep.

Instead, be someone who follows through, someone who bridges the gap between what they say and what they do.

Doing what you say you will do is a strong sign of reliability and trustworthiness. It shows others that they can depend on you, and that’s a cornerstone of trust.

So, if you want people to trust you when they first meet you, ensure your actions match your words. It’s as simple, and as profound, as that.

4) Being defensive

Did you know that defensiveness is actually a primal response? Our brain perceives criticism as a threat, triggering a defensive reaction. It’s a survival mechanism, but it can also be a barrier to trust.

When you meet someone for the first time, your defensiveness can come across as hostility or arrogance.

If every feedback or innocent comment is met with resistance, people might start to feel like they’re walking on eggshells around you.

No one wants to interact with someone who’s constantly on guard, ready to counter-attack at the slightest provocation. It creates an atmosphere of tension and discomfort, hindering any chance of a genuine connection.

If you want people to trust you when you first meet them, try to lower your defenses. Listen to what they’re saying without jumping to conclusions or preparing your rebuttal.

Show them that you’re open to different perspectives and willing to consider their point of view.

This isn’t about suppressing your own opinion or agreeing with everything they say. It’s about demonstrating a level of maturity and openness that encourages trust and mutual respect.

5) Lack of empathy

In our journey so far, we’ve talked about listening, respecting body language, keeping promises, and lowering defenses. But all these behaviors revolve around a central theme: empathy.

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. It’s about putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and viewing the world from their perspective.

When you meet someone for the first time, displaying empathy can make a significant difference in how they perceive you.

If you disregard their feelings or show indifference towards their experiences, it can create an emotional distance and hinder trust.

On the other hand, if you show genuine understanding and compassion towards their feelings, it creates a sense of connection and safety.

It tells them that you’re not just interested in them for what they can offer you, but you truly care about their experiences and well-being.

So, if you want people to trust you when they first meet you, show genuine empathy. It’s not just about feeling sorry for someone; it’s about understanding their situation and responding with kindness and respect.

6) Being judgmental

Following on from empathy, it’s crucial to pay attention to how judgmental you come across.

We all have our biases and preconceptions, but allowing them to color our interactions can be a hindrance to building trust.

When you meet someone for the first time and you’re quick to judge, it sends a message that you’re not open-minded or accepting of differences.

People tend to feel more comfortable and trust those who accept them for who they are, without trying to fit them into preconceived boxes.

Your ability to suspend judgment and appreciate diversity can significantly enhance the level of trust in your interactions.

So next time you meet someone new, try to approach them with an open mind. Resist the urge to judge and instead aim to understand. This subtle shift in behavior can pave the way for a more trusting relationship.

7) Failing to show authenticity

Now, let’s talk about authenticity. It’s the thread that weaves through all the behaviors we’ve discussed so far.

Authenticity is about being true to who you are, not pretending to be someone you’re not. It’s about staying genuine in your interactions, even when it feels easier to put on a mask.

When you meet someone for the first time and you’re not being authentic, people can usually sense it. There’s something off, something that doesn’t quite add up. And that inconsistency can breed mistrust.

On the other hand, when you show up as your true self, it sends a clear message: “This is me, for better or worse.” It shows that you’re comfortable in your own skin and confident enough to let others see your true colors.

So if you want people to trust you when they first meet you, be authentic. Embrace your quirks and imperfections. They’re what make you unique, and they’re what will make others trust you.

8) Lack of self-confidence

We’ve talked about empathy, authenticity, and judgment among others. But at the heart of building trust is self-confidence.

Self-confidence is not about being arrogant or believing that you’re better than everyone else. It’s about knowing your worth and respecting yourself enough to stand by your values.

When you meet someone for the first time and you’re not confident in who you are, it can be difficult for them to place their trust in you. After all, if you don’t believe in yourself, why should they?

But when you present yourself with confidence, it shows others that you are secure in who you are. This doesn’t mean you have to be perfect or have all the answers.

It simply means that you believe in your abilities and are willing to take responsibility for your actions.

So, if you want people to trust you when they first meet you, work on building your self-confidence. Trust in yourself before expecting others to trust in you.

Accept your flaws and celebrate your strengths. Remember, a confident person not only earns respect but also trust.

Final thoughts

Trust is a complex and delicate thing. It’s not something you can demand or buy; it’s something you earn by being consistent, empathetic, and authentic.

If you recognize some of these behaviors in yourself, don’t be too hard on yourself. We all have room for improvement.

The first step is awareness – recognizing that these behaviors exist and acknowledging that they might be impacting how people perceive you.

But with this knowledge comes the power to change. You can start to consciously shift these behaviors, one interaction at a time. It’s not about being perfect, but about striving to be the best version of yourself.